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Messages - Sad Eyes

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16
Sibling Loss / Re: New to this forum
« on: May 09, 2009, 05:13:03 AM »
Dear Youngersis,

You have my heartfelt sympathy for the loss of your sister.  Having lost both my Mom and sister to cancer I know that you have been through a lot emotionally.  I hope that you are able to set some time aside for yourself and that you will allow yourself time to grieve.  Society often tries to rush us back into our normal routines and people act as if our loved one never existed.  What helped me with my grief was to talk about my loved ones.  Not only did I need to talk about the pain and sorrow I was feeling, I needed to talk about the peson I lost.  Take care and I hope you will find comfort in this site.

Sad Eyes

17
Sibling Loss / Mother's Day thoughts of my sister
« on: May 08, 2009, 06:05:16 AM »
Several years ago my sister lost a lengthy battle with cancer and left behind two young sons :'( :'( :'(.  In the short time they had with their Mom she taught them so many things.  I see evidence of this in the men that they have become.  My sister would be so pround of them :).  I'm proud of her for making the most of the short time she had with her sons and I'm proud of my nephews for they way they honor their Mom's memory.

Hope everyone has an enjoyable Mother's day weekend

18
Sibling Loss / Re: Information about the Sibling Loss Board
« on: May 08, 2009, 05:54:47 AM »
Dear atxblues,

You have my deepest sympathy for your loss.  I'm sorry that you have to go through the pain and sorrow of having lost your brother.  I hope that you will find some comfort knowing that you can come here where others understand your pain and someone is always willing to lend you a shoulder to lean on when you need to talk.  Take care!

Sad Eyes

19
Main / Memories of Mom
« on: May 08, 2009, 05:47:07 AM »
I was thinking about Mother's Day and how much I miss my Mom.  I just wanted to share one of my best memories about her.  I hope others of you will share memories of your Moms too.

When I was small I was really into Barbie.  Thanks to my Mom I had the best and most unique Barbie wardrobe around.  My Mom was a talented sewer and she made everything for my dolls.  I had a white satin wedding dress with a detachable train complete with two lace veils to choose from. She even fashioned a small bouquet.  She made two matching bridesmaids dresses in red velvet for my other dolls.  What fun my friends and I had playing with those outfits!!!  My dolls even had bras and panties that my Mom crocheted.  My Mom would often make an outfit for me and then the same one for Barbie. My Barbie also had pierced ears, actually they were colored stick pins cut to size and pushed into Barbies head, OUCH!!!  I still have my Barbies and all the things that my Mom made for them over the years.  I wouldn't part with these items for any amount of money.

My list of wonderful memories of my Mom could go on and on forever, but I will stop with this one.  Hope everyone has a nice Mother's Day. For those of you who have lost your Mother I hope this post will help you recall some of your own special times with your Mother.  God Bless and take care.

Sad Eyes

20
Main / Re: I thought I was OK
« on: May 07, 2009, 01:20:04 PM »
Sounds like you are on the "roller coaster" of grief that we all ride.  It's filled with highs and lows and we often don't know what's around the next corner.  Hang in there, it's ok to allow yourself to have these uncertain periods in you life.

21
Main / Re: BEFORE............AND.................AFTER
« on: May 07, 2009, 01:14:42 PM »
Carrie, this post really touched me.  Hope you don't mind if I add one of my own to it:

Before: My Mom, Dad, sister and brother were only a phone call away.
Now:  I miss them so much and wish I could just pick up the phone and call them!!

I don't take the little things in life for granted anymore.  Those are the things I have missed so much since their deaths.

22
Sibling Loss / Re: Can't stop crying
« on: May 05, 2009, 11:13:30 AM »
Dear Sad Always,

Sorry to hear about your husbands auto accident, when it rains it pours.  No wonder you are feeling so overwhelmed. You have had way too much to deal with!!!  Let me share one of my "life" experiences with you and maybe you can borrow one of my coping skills. Six months after my Mom lost her battle with cancer my brother was murdered.  I was already stressed after having lost my Mom, because that brought back memories of my sister's battle with cancer and her death a few years earlier.  I mourned deeply for each of them, but yet I was able to find a source of comfort in knowing that they were in a better place and they were no longer in pain.  With my brother's murder all I could feel and see was the ugliness and horror of it. After struggling over and over with my grief, I finally went into my "worst case" mode.  What would have happened if my brother would have been wounded to the point he was just a vegetable, he had no legal papers in place, he could have lingered on life support for years and years. I know my brother wouldn't have wanted that to be the way he had to live.  I know this may be strange but that is how I cope with my brother's murder.  He didn't have to linger and suffer too.  I hope I have not offended anyone with this post but that "worst case" mode has worked for me in many areas of my life which is why I decided to share it.  I hope by sharing my struggle that it might help someone else too.

Dear Luvinmike,

You are always very compasionate wherever you post on this site.  Your husband sounds like a very very special person, but then so are you.  You bring comfort to many of us who post here.  I don't understand why these special people are taken from us so early in life.  Life isn't alway fair!!!!!!

Sad Always, Luvinmike and everyone elso too, hang in there our loved ones are watching over us.  They do want us to find peace and happiness again.

23
Sibling Loss / Re: Can't stop crying
« on: May 04, 2009, 03:29:42 PM »
Dear Sad Always,

I think it's normal to feel as though you might lose your mind and that no one really cares or understands after having lost so many close family members.  That is why this board is so wonderful.  People here know what you are feeling and may be able to help you through your grief.  I have found more comfort from complete strangers than I have my extended family.  No one should ever be told to "get a grip" on their grief or be told they should "get over it". There are no time limits or proper way to grieve, you do it at your own pace.  I'm glad to hear you are going to counseling, it gave me the skills to cope with my grief.  It doesn't take it away, but it will make it eaiser to deal with the additional stresses. It's a shame that your remaining brother doesn't see the "value"  in what is left of your family.  Sometimes people don't know what they have got until it's gone.  Best wishes to you and let me know how you are doing.

Sad Eyes

24
Sibling Loss / Re: lost my sister
« on: May 04, 2009, 05:09:41 AM »
Hello Dorie,

So sorry that you lost your sister.  Tha pain and sorrow that grief brings does seem unbearable at times.  I am glad that you found this site, I think it will help you with your loss.  In my own experience with grief I've found that it really helps to talk with others that have experienced a similar loss.


Take care and again you have my deepest sympathy!!

Sad Eyes

25
Main / Re: MORE BAD NEWS TONIGHT
« on: May 04, 2009, 05:02:59 AM »
Carrie,

I am so sorry that yet another person has experienced violence in their lives. It's so unfair and all it takes is one unstable person to change the course of your life. Violence isn't something that just happens in "not so good" neighbourhoods.  It's something that can happen anywhere, anyplace and anytime.

 I'm proud of you for going to see Dee in the hospital.  I know that will be hard on you since Laurence was in that hostipal. But the fact that you are going speaks volumes about home much you value this friendship.  Take care and let us know how Dee's recovery goes.

Sad Eyes

26
Main / Re: Photo attempt
« on: May 01, 2009, 11:25:23 AM »
Love that Red Sox shirt!!!!!  I live in Cardinal territory and I had to cheer for the Red Sox when they played a few years ago.  Great photo!!!

27
Main / Re: duh
« on: May 01, 2009, 11:21:52 AM »
Jeanne, sorry to hear that you have so much going on.  Just by letting your friends know that you care you will be helping them.  We often forget that the smallest acts of kindness often mean the most.  Good luck to all of you.

Sad Eyes

28
Sibling Loss / Re: lost my brother
« on: May 01, 2009, 10:39:41 AM »
Dear Mommabear,

So sorry for your loss!!!  I too lost my brother on Feb 19  but my loss goes back to 2000.  I have experienced multiple losses in my family and totally understand why  you are feeling the loss of you father again.  Grieving is a long difficult process and there is not a wrong or right way to go about it, we just muddle thru the best we can.   Even though it's not easy everthing you are feeling is helping your work your way thru your grief.  Take care of yourself!!!!

Sad Eyes

29
Sibling Loss / Re: Can't stop crying
« on: May 01, 2009, 10:26:48 AM »
Hello Sadalways,

First of all I just want to let you know how sorry I am that you have lost your brother, both parents and your aunt.  I have lost both parents, my brother and my sister.  What I have experienced is that with each new loss it brings back the pain and sorow of the previous losses.  You asked, how do you stop greiving.  I personally don't think that one ever stops grieving, it just comes and goes with different stages.  I sometimes feel great sorrow and a pain that is like being homesick and other times I can look back and just remember the good times.  I had a very difficult time with my brother's murder (still do at times) and I too felt like my life was over and that nothing was worth living for.  What I was feeling was survivors guilt.  Why was I the only one left living out of my original family?  My brother and sister each had children they left behind.  I had a real hard time with those issues.  Going to therapy helped me to be able to look at things in a better light.  I know my family wouldn't want me to wallow in their loss, and I am sure your family would feel the same way.  My friends often hear me say in reference to my brother's murder that "I am the one who got the life sentence because I am the one left behind to deal with everything".  If you have not tried counseling I would highly recomend it.  For me I was far better than any pill that my doctor prescribed.  I hope that you found something in my ramblings that gave you a bit of comfort even if it's just knowing that you are not alone in your struggle with your grief.  Take care and please let me know how you are feeling.

Sad Eyes

30
Sibling Loss / Re: Advice on Professional Therapy
« on: April 29, 2009, 02:24:39 PM »
Scott thanks for the update, I had been wondering about you.  Sounds like you are moving in the right direction.  Thanks goodness you have found someone who you feel comfortable with that is a big step in the right direction.  Best of luck to you and your family.  Be sure to keep us updated.

Sad Eyes

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