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Messages - closs86

Pages: 1 ... 14 15 [16]
226
Main / Re: Lost my beloved
« on: April 30, 2010, 08:25:57 PM »
Hi Leo
    I wish that I would have gone with him, but that didn't happen, I always told him that I had to go first, but that didn't happen either, so now what???   We try to go on, minute to minute, I went to work today for the first time it was very hard,  I really am hoping that the group grief counseling will help, why don't you consider it, it may help you, I miss Johnny more than anything, I sleep with his hat like it is a teddy bear, and he is on the night stand with pictures all around.  I don't know what is in the future for me, I can't think past today.
Leo I know you are in pain, try to talk to someone, it will help
Take Care
Karen

227
Main / Re: Lost my beloved
« on: April 29, 2010, 09:11:06 PM »
Hi Leo
   I understand everything you write, I also was so close to my husband, and we did everything together, we were never apart for 43 years, except when I had my children.  We loved each other so much,  I understand how you feel, my chest also is tight all the time, my husband passed on April 6th, I feel like it is not real, like i am still dreaming, and I will wake up, and everything will be OK, he was a healthy 60 year old man who walked 3 miles everyday and we thought we were eating healthy, and he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, and 3 weeks later he passed away, it is so sick, I just can't digest what happened, my brain does not want to accept it.  I hope I can be strong, He did a lot for me, I don"t know how to live without him, I only sleep with the help of a pill (ambian), otherwise I will be up all night and I won't last to long without sleep.  I am going to go to a bereavement group on Monday,. I am hoping that they can help me figure out what happened????I just don't know Leo, I am  hurting so bad.
Take  care,
Karen

228
Main / Re: lost my life
« on: April 29, 2010, 08:47:23 PM »
Hi Leo
  I am still reeling from the whole thing, still feel like it is not true, waiting for him to come through the door, I listened to the message on his cell phone tonight, it hurt so much, I felt like he was standing right next to me. How could he be gone?  I just can't wrap me head around this whole thing.  I hope I can do this,
Thanks
Karen

229
Main / Re: new person-hurting alot
« on: April 24, 2010, 10:39:26 PM »
Hi
I know how you are feeling, I lost my husband April 6, to pancreatic cancer, We were also soulmates, we were married 43 years, I am lost and in shock,  I am so sorry for your loss, I understand your pain, I am numb now and feel dead myself inside.  I also was with him when he passed, and also saw the pain and anxiety he went through, it was horrible, My husband was 60, young and very strong, until this monster got hold of him and in 7 weeks total he was gone. I just can't believe it.  I will pray for you and all of us here on this site, we are all suffering.
God Bless
Karen

230
Main / Re: lost my life
« on: April 20, 2010, 10:49:45 PM »
My heart hurts so much, I hope that i can live without him, he was my everything, I have a constant knot in my stomach, 

231
Main / lost my life
« on: April 18, 2010, 09:52:00 PM »
On April 6th the love of my life suddenly passed away,  8 weeks ago this was a healthy strong man that walked 3 miles every day, ate right, and without any warning, felt bloated and a stomach ache, went to the docter, before you know it he was admitted into Sloane Kettering Cancer hospital and diagnosed with pancreatic cancer that had already spread, how could this of happened, within 3 weeks of being admitted into the hospital he deteriorated every day, right after he was admitted he got blood clots that broke loose from his legs and went to his lungs, and that was the slide downhill.  My sons and I stood with him around the clock the last few days, it was so horrible, he suffered terribly the day before he passed, they gave him so much pain medication, but he still looked like he was in agony, even though he was not concious,  I will never forget the last day, it was the worst day of my life, my heart is broken and I don't know if I can get through this, we were together for 43 years.  He was my rock, my life, my love.

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