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Messages - theFireballKid

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Main / Re: Thinking of fireballkid
« on: October 05, 2010, 12:46:54 PM »
thanks Mrkoolkat5249 and thanks to everyone here, appreciate it.

i feel like im living a terrible nightmare....

Main / Re: Thinking of fireballkid
« on: September 05, 2010, 07:27:59 PM »
I spent an hour with my little sister and parents today at the cemetery. This still doesn't feel real to me.

Main / Re: Thinking of fireballkid
« on: August 30, 2010, 06:48:48 AM »
Thanks Terry, means a lot.

Last week was extremely hard, I finally mustered the strength to complete the gravestone (long overdue). But it hurts more than ever, because now it confirms that she is really gone. I'm going to hang in there.

Main / Re: All gone...
« on: August 29, 2010, 05:16:05 PM »
it's been awhile since i've been on here. wanted to say thanks to everyone here who have shared their thoughts. this past week marked one year since my sister left me, been hard to dealing with this. but anyways, i'll be strong.

Main / Re: All gone...
« on: July 01, 2010, 06:38:41 PM »
I live in pain and misery every day.

Main / Re: All gone...
« on: June 25, 2010, 07:58:00 PM »
At the end of the day, this is an anonymous message board. No one really gives a damn.

Main / Re: All gone...
« on: June 21, 2010, 08:13:44 PM »
I singled handedly had to bury my mother, father and sister. Burying my sister was/is the last straw....

I will never forgive myself. And I know I could have stopped this. And for that, I blame myself.

Main / Re: All gone...
« on: June 21, 2010, 08:08:50 PM »
To those who have replied to my thread...thank you.

I hate saying this...but I wish I would be shot at times. Car accident perhaps. I don't know if one day I will just pull the trigger...

Main / Re: All gone...
« on: June 15, 2010, 07:30:35 PM »
im drunk as i type of this, so i will try to respond the best i can. reality? what is reality, right? i dont know anymore.

i took a long walk tonight, felt nice but also terrible at the same time. all that comes across my mind is the fact that i've lost everyone in my family (and had to bury them). couple that with no relatives because they've abandoned me too. life is pointless, and i feel hopeless.

Main / Re: All gone...
« on: June 13, 2010, 06:44:57 AM »
I woke up today after having dreamt of both my mother and sister. I told them, "I'm so happy you are alive".... Then I woke up.

My time may be near. I don't want to see where this journey takes me. I can't grasp ahold of reality anymore.

Main / Re: All gone...
« on: June 04, 2010, 06:11:17 AM »
I've just been feeling really empty for awhile. Lost all meaning in life...why bother when everyone around you is dying...

I think it's interesting that I receive more support from anonymous people on a forum board than I do from the few so-called good friends I had.

Main / Re: My fiance committed suicide.
« on: May 27, 2010, 01:19:45 PM »
This feeling is...indescribable. Nothing seems good anymore.

I really thought about it, why do we live at all? To work, buy some things that mean nothing in the end, to watch loved ones die? The only thing that even remotely makes me happy anymore is when I slam shots after work.

Main / Re: My fiance committed suicide.
« on: May 26, 2010, 02:45:11 PM »
Hope you are well, Luna. I had a dream last night of my sister and parents, believed it was real till I woke up. I wonder if all this pain would be easier if I just slept forever....

Main / Re: All gone...
« on: May 26, 2010, 02:09:06 PM »
Just came back from Hawaii for vacation. Felt so empty at such a wonderful place.... Should have been a good time but I felt like driving my car off the cliff and into the water.

Why do things have to be this way? The only thing I know now is death; that is all that comes across my mind now. I really do not see the point in life anymore.

Main / Re: All gone...
« on: May 19, 2010, 05:37:32 AM »
I hate the way I am now... I can't shake off this terrible feeling. I have no desire to succeed anymore.

I show up to work for a paycheck, have no passion to move up the career ladder, and have tossed out the only friends I knew. The guilt is eating me inside, day by day, slowly and slowly.

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