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Messages - theFireballKid

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Suicide Loss / Re: 2 years...2 very long years
« on: September 13, 2011, 08:41:02 PM »
it's been tough, really tough. at times i felt like pulling the trigger but i kept reinforcing it to myself that there's some sort of purpose for me. sometimes im happy, sometimes im extremely depressed. but i guess what matters is that im here and im now.

Suicide Loss / Re: 2 years...2 very long years
« on: September 13, 2011, 02:27:29 PM »
it's a very interesting, informative yet graphic documentary on suicide - 1,000s of people every year travel to the Golden Gate bridge to end their lives. highly recommend.

Suicide Loss / Re: 2 years...2 very long years
« on: September 13, 2011, 06:44:57 AM »
thanks, appreciate the warm welcome back.

have you seen the documentary "the bridge"? Was a very interesting movie.

Suicide Loss / 2 years...2 very long years
« on: September 06, 2011, 09:52:12 PM »
it's been awhile since ive been here. about a week ago marked the 2 year anniversary of when my youngest sister took her own life...i still live with the regret. i've learned to move on, but through sadness.

Main / Another year
« on: February 02, 2011, 09:23:19 AM »
it's that time again... i feel like im getting stronger but only because im deciding that by believing nothing happened, i can feel better. this sunday is 5 years since my dad was killed, month ago was 7 years for my mom. this sucks.

Suicide Loss / Re: Pros and cons
« on: January 29, 2011, 11:54:50 PM »
feeling like crap today. why

Main / Many days later
« on: December 30, 2010, 06:55:34 AM »
It will be 7 years since I last saw my mother, who died in the hospital bed. It will be 5 years since I last saw my father, who died in a tragic car accident. It is now over a year since I saw my baby sister, who took her own life. It's been many days since I last had a family. It's now 2011.

I'm learning to move on, and figured this forum would be a nice place to share. Thanks to the people who have shared their sincerity - appreciate it. I'm happier these days. I hope this continues as well.

Main / What would you do?
« on: November 16, 2010, 12:39:52 PM »
What would you do if you were if this scenario happened to you:

Your mother, father and sister all died. One dies in front of your eyes based on a choice you made, another dies in a tragic car accident, and lastly, one dies of suicide.

What would you do?

Suicide Loss / Re: Pros and cons
« on: November 16, 2010, 09:03:34 AM »
This place is the only place where I can share some of my thoughts now. I try to reason with myself that life is worth living...but it isn't. Not when you have seen almost all of your family gone right before eyes, and having to bury them as well.

Suicide Loss / Pros and cons
« on: November 12, 2010, 04:33:03 PM »
My baby sister took her own life.

On reasons for my living....

Sibling Loss / Re: Can you hear me?
« on: November 09, 2010, 01:15:50 PM »
just so tired. living with these regrets is literally killing me.

Sibling Loss / Re: Can you hear me?
« on: October 20, 2010, 07:18:57 AM »
thanks helene, jazzgirl

i miss her tremendously. in the last 5 years i also lost both parents to tragic events; promised myself no one would leave me again. and then this.... more often than not, i feel like something bad is going to happen again.

Sibling Loss / Re: Can you hear me?
« on: October 18, 2010, 08:07:30 AM »
i am having a hard time functioning

Main / Re: Thinking of fireballkid
« on: October 07, 2010, 12:38:04 PM »
i have these random episodes of being "in the moment" and just being out of it. There will be times where I will just stare at a wall or outside for minutes on end. I feel so bored of life.

Sibling Loss / Can you hear me?
« on: October 05, 2010, 01:13:58 PM »
I miss you little sister...  To this day I place the blame on myself for what happened.  To this day I still believe I could have done something. All the clues and hints were right there in my face, yet I was blind to them. I don't know what is going on anymore.

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