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Messages - SistersinCanada

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16
Parent Loss / Re: I feel like I am in a desert
« on: April 29, 2012, 08:46:49 AM »
Hi FROG
I understand what you are going through.  The little things which bring back memories are the most important.  My mum died 3 years ago and when my  sisters and I were going through her things I kept all the cards and notes that I had written to her as a little girl.  It touched me so much that she had kept them and we had a good laugh looking through them.  I also kept one of her blouses (which wouldn't fit me) just because I remember her wearing it.  I've always meant to make it into a pillow, just never got around to it.  I may still. 

My sister died suddenly a year ago and on her anniversary I went to her home and even though most of her things had been disposed of I did take her jacket.  I never saw her wear it but I know she did when she went to the bridge on the Highway of Heroes (a Canadian highway where we honour any solider who had died). 
I hope it helps to know we are there for you.

17
Parent Loss / Re: not good today
« on: April 27, 2012, 08:32:28 PM »
Hi again
Sorry for my mistake in gender.  I think it's hard to know if there are more women than men posting when the names we use don't specify.  Anyway you're a wonderful son and I wish I could give you a hug right now.  That's what I would want for my 2 boys if the situations were reversed.  I'm sending you a "mom" hug from my heart.
Sisters in Canada

18
Parent Loss / Re: not good today
« on: April 27, 2012, 01:48:45 PM »
Hi, I read your post and my heart goes out to you.  Your mom would be proud to call you her daughter.  I know being a mom that I wouldn't want my kids to suffer if I was gone.    I hope your day gets better.
Sisters in Canada

19
Sibling Loss / Re: My sister Lynne
« on: April 24, 2012, 07:15:04 PM »
Hi again everyone
Thanks for your replies, I'm sorry we all belong to the club no one wants to join.
I drove to her grave today and talked to her, left some flowers.  Went to her house which has been sold and will not be
in the family much longer.  Said my goodbyes there.  Two of her sons and one of her daughters met me at the house, as
well as her 2 1/2 yr. old grandson who she adored.  I gave him a big hug and kiss from his gramma.  The day went
better than I expected.  It was good to be with the kids, they seem to be doing ok.  I feel like I'm always the one who
is sad or maybe I'm not as good at hiding it than them.  I'm always afraid to bring them down.  I don't want to add to
their pain.  So I try to be upbeat even though inside I'm suffering.  That's why this site is a life saver.  I can tell it like it is.
I don't have to pretend I'm fine when really I'm not.  You guys know.   We shared a lifetime together.
She was always in my life since she was 2 years older than me.  I've known her since Day 1.  I feel I made some progress today.
I guess 2 steps forward 1 step back.  I'm thinking of all of you and remembering your loved ones in my prayers tonight.
Terry

20
Sibling Loss / My sister Lynne
« on: April 23, 2012, 08:01:38 PM »
Hi everyone.
I'm new to the Board.  Wish I had found it sooner.  I've been reading so many posts.  Really helps.
I lost my sister Lynne a year ago, Easter Sunday, April 24, 2011.  There were four of us girls, now just three.
She was the glue that held us all together.  Died of a heart virus.  I'd never heard of that before.  She got a cold at Christmas
and in March wasn't feeling well. The cold had gone away but the virus attacked her heart.  She was such a healthy person, took good care of herself.  She went to the hospital in her small town, where she had worked as a nurse for 30 years.  They immediately put her into ICU and I talked to her while she was there.  Two days later she took a turn for the worse and my nephew called me at 3 in the morning practically hysterical.  They transferred her to a larger city hospital but they couldn't save her.  She was on life support for 3 weeks and probably would have died sooner but she was very healthy.  She hung on as long as she could.  She did wake up April 19th and I got to talk to her before she took a turn for the worse and died.  Her husband died 17 months to the day before her.  They left five children.  She was my best friend in the whole world which made it so much harder to bear.  We always talked on the phone since we lived 2 hours apart.  She "got" me which no one else in the world does except my wonderful husband who loved her so much too.  The 3 of us hung out. 
I've come a long way in a year, can't believe it has been that long and that I'll never talk to her again.  The raw pain is now just a sad ache that never leaves.  At least I can eat and sleep which I couldn't do for months.
Thanks for listening, I know people at work care but no one wants to see me cry everyday and be a downer.
I'm going to drive to her gravesite tomorrow, talk to her and then meet with three of her kids for lunch.  I love them alot but don't see them too much as we don't live near each other.  Anyway thanks again for listening.
Terry. 

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