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Messages - YoungerSis

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Sibling Loss / Re: Strange thing happened ...
« on: July 07, 2009, 04:54:41 AM »
Mind if I share an update on this?  I have been carrying the card around in my purse for two months now, waiting for some sort of answer.

Yesterday we were watching the evening (world) news.  There was a murder in the same small town where this woman lived.  And they interviewed her brother -- I had remembered her maiden name, and the name of the man rang a bell!  So I double-checked her obituary on the internet, and sure enough.....

So what does this all mean?  Am I supposed to hop in my car and drive to this town?  Sorry if I sound like I am going crazy.  In addition to this, I have been having alot of dreams about my sister still being around.

By the way, I do not have a common name (first or last name)....

Any thoughts or insights on this would be appreciated!

Sibling Loss / Re: Nervous
« on: June 29, 2009, 06:42:01 AM »
Thank you Terri for your kind words and thoughts!  The lunch went well - my niece and I had a very nice visit, and great conversation.  I felt a little strange walking into my sister's house and not seeing her, but I know she would be so proud of my niece and the time we spent together.  I could almost see her smiling in approval.  You're right, the first visit is behind me now, and hopefully future visits will not make me as nervous or anxious.

I hope you are well.  I really do appreciate your comments and wonderful insight on this web forum!

Sibling Loss / Nervous
« on: June 26, 2009, 05:40:13 AM »
My oldest sister has been gone two months now.  Tomorrow I am going to her house for the first time since she died ---- to take my niece to lunch.  I am really nervous about going!  I know it will be hard to be in her kitchen, and not see her sitting across from me or pouring me a cup of coffee.  I am sure that this is necessary as part of the healing process, but I am still nervous and hope I can handle this!

Sibling Loss / Good movie
« on: June 01, 2009, 05:53:36 PM »
Have any of you seen (or read) The Five People You Meet In Heaven?  I had read the book several years ago, but it was not relevant to me like it is now.  The movie was on the Hallmark Channel over the weekend.  Very touching movie.  Now I am sitting here crying, wondering who my 5 people would be!!!???  My sister who died seemed to affect SO many lives - her children, her coworkers, neighbors, family, friends.  Makes me feel sad that I have not influenced as many people.  Is it too late to change???

Sibling Loss / Re: thank god i my friend died..
« on: June 01, 2009, 05:50:56 PM »
I wholeheartedly agree!  I think we all try to put on a brave face for the benefit of not making those around us uncomfortable.  But we need to cry!  I am crying now as I type this - with my sister being gone just over a month.  I am so professional and upbeat at work.  Around family and friends, I am brave and smiling.  But these times I am alone, I am free to cry!

Sibling Loss / Re: Time Heals All Wounds?
« on: May 27, 2009, 10:16:32 AM »
I am so worry for what you are going through!  I don't know if time "heals" all wounds because I do not think we will ever forget or "get over" our grief.

It has been a month since my sister died, and I feel a whole myriad of feelings like sadness, emptiness, and anger like you do.  Does this mean we are going through all of the so-called stages of grief in no particular order?

I hope you find peace and comfort in this forum.....

Sibling Loss / Strange thing happened ...
« on: May 27, 2009, 10:14:12 AM »
At the risk of sounding really crazy.....

About a week ago, I received a card in the mail thanking me for my sympathy and support from the family of a deceased person in S. Carolina (I live in Ohio) that I had never heard of.  It was hand addressed to me.

I did a search on the internet ..... the deceased was a 96 year old woman with a lengthy list of family members, none of which rang a bell with me.

The strangest thing is ..... the woman died the same day as my sister!

What should I make of this?  Just a strange error, or something more like a sign from my sister???!

Did something like this ever happen to any of you?

Sibling Loss / Re: Memorial Day thoughts
« on: May 27, 2009, 10:10:13 AM »
I too, feel that now I want to talk about my sister, and no one really wants to listen like they did in the days or weeks following the funeral.

And you're right, I am so glad to have the DVD of memories, although I do not know when I will look at it next.

Everything feels so difficult and abnormal lately, that if I do have a good moment or a halfway decent day, I will enjoy it and consider myself blessed.

It helps so much to talk to all of you !!!

Sibling Loss / Memorial Day thoughts
« on: May 25, 2009, 04:30:42 PM »
Went to my sister's gravesite this weekend, and it is hard to believe she has been gone a month already!  I still cannot bring myself to watch the DVD I received from her hospice nurses - with pictures of her life and some really sad songs.  I feel guilty for having fun over the weekend at cookouts, and out on the Lake.  Why did she have to get that horrible disease?  Why not someone else - some horribly mean person, not my easy going, personable, loving, and caring sister!!! 

For two weeks after she died, there was so much support:  cards and flowers and gifts and words of sympathy.  Then it all suddenly stopped, and everyone goes back to their own lives.  Does that mean that I am supposed to go back to my normal routine, and stop grieving?

Just wanted to thank all of you for this very helpful forum, and to offer my thoughts as Memorial Day weekend comes to a close ......

Sibling Loss / Re: Missing my sister
« on: May 14, 2009, 04:49:41 PM »
I am so sorry for your loss!  I too lost my sister to cancer and, I agree, cancer sucks!  I hope that we both find the peace and comfort that we so desperately need through this forum.  And I will pray for your sisters' sons serving our country.

Sibling Loss / Angry, and sad
« on: May 14, 2009, 04:46:56 PM »
Just wanted to unload a few feelings today .... I got angry when I saw a license plate on a car advertising they are a "survivor" (why couldn't my sister be a survivor???).  And I feel sad - does anything I do really make a difference?  My sister led a simple life, didn't have any money, etc. -- but over 300 people came to pay their respects at her funeral!  I have a lucrative career and lots of nice things - but if I died tomorrow, who would be there?

Thanks for listening!

Sibling Loss / Re: New to this forum
« on: May 11, 2009, 07:52:38 AM »
Thank you everyone for your sympathy and understanding!  I did not mean to sound like my husband is being cold or uncaring - he had only one sibling who lived out of state and passed away years ago, while I have a total of 5 siblings and we all live in the same area.

Another question ... is it common or "normal" to have dreams about the deceased?  I dream almost every night of my sister - not bad dreams, just nice dreams where she is still here and no longer ill.  When we all met at my mom's yesterday for Mother's Day, one of my brothers asked me if I am having any unusual dreams.  Turns out several of us have been dreaming about our sister - perhaps she is trying to let us know that all is well with her?

Anyways, thank you all for your replies.  I am glad I found this web forum.  I will come back and share some memories of my sister, and offer condolensces where I can.

Sibling Loss / Re: Mother's Day thoughts of my sister
« on: May 08, 2009, 05:23:20 PM »
Thank you for sharing your Mother's Day thoughts.  I am new to this forum - I just lost my oldest sister two weeks ago, and I know the upcoming Mother's Day will be difficult for the 4 children she left behind.  But I will look at them and see her beauty and strength in their eyes.

Sibling Loss / New to this forum
« on: May 08, 2009, 05:17:35 PM »
Hello, I just found this forum and I am hoping for some peace and healing.  My oldest sister passed away on April 25th at the age of 54 after a horrible battle with cancer.  By day, I work in the public eye so I must be strong and friendly and sociable.  When I come home, I feel so sad and unmotivated.  It has not been quite two weeks yet, and my husband just asked me tonight why I am "STILL" upset. 

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