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Messages - YoungerSis

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Sibling Loss / Re: Feeling resentful?
« on: October 28, 2009, 10:48:42 AM »
Ok, here we go again!  As I was leaving for work this morning, my husband said we now have plans to go out to dinner with these same "friends" on Friday night!  He pleaded with me to please go, and he will not ask me for anything else!

Am I wrong to still feel bitter towards our friend's wife for never even acknowledging my sister's death?

I will probably go because my husband does not ask for much, and because I love him and want him to enjoy a night out with his friend, NOT because I feel any friendship towards our friend's wife!

I was having a pretty good week until this happened .....

Sibling Loss / Re: angry at god
« on: October 28, 2009, 10:45:11 AM »
I too felt (and still feel?) alot of anger with God since losing my sister.  Last January, I had taken her to see a faith healer.  At the healing service, many stories were told of people who were "cured" after attending.  I had such high hopes for my sister, and was very upset and angry when she continued downhill afterwards.  Angry at God, angry with the faith healer, etc.  It does subside a little with time, though.

Sibling Loss / Re: really nice dream
« on: October 28, 2009, 10:43:22 AM »
What a nice dream, Pepper!  I am so glad to hear that you were comforted and could feel the hug in your dream!  Hope you continue to have good dreams!

Sibling Loss / Re: Strange dream
« on: October 15, 2009, 11:21:09 AM »
Thanks for your reply, Terri!  Yes, it was a healing dream and I woke up feeling good about "knowing" that my sister is okay.

Take care.  I wish you peace and comfort as well.

Sibling Loss / Re: Trick -or- Treat
« on: October 15, 2009, 11:19:56 AM »
Your Halloween story brought back memories for me as well.  When my sister's children were little, and I was young & single, I would go to their house for Halloween.  We would take turns giving out the candy and taking the kids trick or treating.  To this day I miss those Halloween nights with her and her kids.

Sibling Loss / Strange dream
« on: October 12, 2009, 10:56:20 AM »
Hello everyone,
I have not posted in awhile, but I have been reading your posts every now and again, and trying to keep going.

I was out of town on a business trip this past weekend and, as usual, I don't sleep well away from home, and usually have strange dreams.

The other night I dreamed that I was at work, and I ran into my sister in the hallway.  She looked beautiful, and had no signs of the cancer she had battled before she died.  I was astonished at seeing her, but she smiled and just said that she was fine, and that she pretended to die to get away from her controlling husband.

Then she said she wanted to be in one of my research studies (I am a clinical research coordinator at a large hospital).  So I scheduled her for a study visit, then I ran and told my family that she was still alive!  Of course they didn't believe me, so when she arrived for her appointment, I showed her to one of the exam rooms, then ran to get my family.  But when they came back with me, she was gone, and even her name had disappeared off the printed schedule!

I woke up feeling a little strange, but almost comforted in the fact that maybe my sister was trying to tell me that she really is okay!

Any insights into this? 

Thanks for reading!

Sibling Loss / Re: has anyone else gotten "signs" from their sibs?
« on: September 01, 2009, 09:03:02 AM »
I too, am glad to have read these posts, so I know maybe I am not crazy. 

One night last week my husband and I were laying in bed watching TV.  I was thinking about my sister because my niece had just called. 

Our cat was laying at my feet, and suddenly he jumped up and looked into the living room like someone was there!  He never does this unless he sees someone or something.  I looked out, of course, and saw nothing, but I could feel my sister's presence.

Sibling Loss / Re: 10 month anniversary
« on: August 25, 2009, 07:04:07 AM »
I lost my big sister 4 months ago today.  We talked on the phone almost every day in the last few months that she was ill.  There are times that I say to myself that it is time to call her, then I remember that I can't call her.

She was such a beautiful woman, and to watch her waste away with cancer was awful.  But I picture her as the upbeat, fun, and beautiful sister that I remember.

Sibling Loss / Re: New member
« on: August 25, 2009, 07:01:46 AM »
I am so sorry for your loss.  I hope you find a little peace and healing like I have on this forum.

I lost my oldest sister 4 months ago today, and I can still picture vividly in my mind the last few times I saw her.  It still hurts so much, as I am sure you are hurting too.

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Sibling Loss / Re: How long til I feel 'normal' again?
« on: August 25, 2009, 06:58:57 AM »
Thank you, Gail08 and Big Sis.  It is helpful to hear that what I am going through is okay, and may or may not be what everyone else is says is okay for me.

I wish you peace and healing on your own journeys through grief!

Sibling Loss / Re: How long til I feel 'normal' again?
« on: August 21, 2009, 07:25:52 AM »
Thanks to all of you for reading and replying.  Today is a better day than yesterday.

By the way, Jeanne, I really like your phrase "deep breaths and baby steps"!  I find I am repeating that to myself when I am feeling stressed or anxious.

My thoughts and prayers are with all of you today!

Sibling Loss / Re: How long til I feel 'normal' again?
« on: August 20, 2009, 08:50:05 AM »
Thank you, Jeanne!  Just reading your words felt like a huge burden was lifted off my shoulders. 

I guess I have always been rough on myself and expecting too much --- in everything -- my career, running my household, etc.  So I guess I am trying to be the same in my grief. 

Today is a bad day -- I'm sitting in my office working through tears -- so I will just ride out this day and accept it for what it is.  Maybe tomorrow will be better.

Again, thank you so much for your reply!  It is so kind of you to offer your words of advice and sympathy, while going through your own grief process. 

Hope your day is a good day!

Sibling Loss / How long til I feel 'normal' again?
« on: August 20, 2009, 06:00:30 AM »
How long does it take to feel somewhat 'normal' again?  Some days I feel pretty good, and I am grateful for those days.  Other days, like today, I just don't care!  I don't care about my job, I just want to veg out on the sofa in the evening, and this is so not like me!

I am so mad at myself because it has been almost 4 months since losing my sister, and I should be feeling better by now, shouldn't I?

Sibling Loss / Re: Acceptance
« on: August 10, 2009, 11:13:55 AM »
Very well said JeanneB. 

My sister has been gone not quite 4 months, and some days I feel like I "have it all together", and other days I can picture her lying in her hospital bed and suffering so much, and me just holding her hand and crying.  I can picture it like it was yesterday.

I wonder if I can ever really "accept" her death.  Does that mean then, that I am "over it"?  And what do I say when a new acquaintance asks me how many siblings I have?  Do I say the total of 6, or do I say I just have 5 now?  She is still my sister, and still a part of my family.  I don't want to forget her!

Peace and friendship to you both.....

Sibling Loss / Re: Feeling resentful?
« on: August 10, 2009, 11:06:33 AM »
Thanks Terri and 'browneyedgirl'.  Believe it or not, as I was trying to make it through the night feeling uncomfortable and alone, I thought about what I would post on this forum today and how your replies would comfort me.  It's odd how someone I thought was a friend really isn't, and how you (who I have never met in person) are friends to me!

Thanks again for the insight and advice.  I feel much better today.  You are in my thoughts and prayers today.


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