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Messages - ScottW

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16
Sibling Loss / Need Someone To Talk To
« on: September 24, 2014, 09:39:49 AM »
I've really been doing pretty well over the past couple of years.  However, right now, I'm having a lot of troubles (my career, my marriage, my life).  I don't know how many of you feel this way but, to me, I never want to 'bitch' about my relationship (or my wife) to my friends.  It's too personal.  The only person that I ever felt comfortable with, re: discussing this stuff was my sister, Jori.

I need so badly to talk to her, to get some things off of my chest, to get some feedback.  I feel like my life is falling apart because I have no one to talk to about some real problems (problems that I can't share with my wife).  I know that this sounds awful, I know that there should be no secrets in a marriage . . .

Just frustrated, upset, really sad, and having a hard time coming to terms with the fact that "this is how it is" . . . and "this is how it forever will be".

17
Main / Re: Where is everyone from?
« on: September 21, 2014, 08:02:47 PM »
Welcome to you new family, Janka.  Sorry that you had to meet us.

18
Sibling Loss / Re: My sister's birthday
« on: August 07, 2014, 04:11:09 PM »
That sounds like an awesome way to celebrate a birthday!  I really like the idea of focussing on Jolene (or in my case Jori) for the day.  Thanks for the great idea. It's really nice to 'hear from you'.

19
Sibling Loss / Re: My sister's birthday
« on: July 29, 2014, 09:58:19 PM »
Hi Gail.  Sorry for the tardy response. I hope you got through the birthday day ok. XO

20
Sibling Loss / Re: Lesley
« on: July 29, 2014, 09:57:26 PM »
Thanks for the update Helene.  I miss you all.

21
Old friend . . . I am so sorry that you are "back here". At the same time, I'm very happy that you're posting and "reaching out". We are all here for you.  You know that!

22
Sibling Loss / Re: When do things get better?
« on: May 15, 2014, 07:45:13 PM »
Wow, Terry.  Wow.  Thank you so much for sharing your story, your children. Bayou are a very special person. XO

23
Sibling Loss / A Nice Mother's Day Story
« on: May 13, 2014, 10:15:48 PM »
So my family and I went to my parents' house for Mother's Day.  Those of you who know me know that my parents are raising my nephews, Jori's boys, Bryce and Sean.

There is a nice sized pond behind their home.  Bryce took my oldest son, Sidney, to the pond to go fishing. After a while, I walked out with my two younger kids.  Suffice it to say, the fish were not biting but we were all having a nice time.

It was about time to go back inside. I said to my kids, "when Bryce casts this time, let's all yell, 'catch a fish'", so we all yelled.  Then we all crouched down really quiet and watched and waited.  I looked at Bryce and said, "could you imagine if you really caught one right now?".

You guessed it. Not 5 seconds later, Bryce shouts, "I got one" and proceeds to reel in a small bass. 

I said, to Bryce, "that's your mom saying hello". He just looked at me (with such excitement from the catch). I said, "I know, I don't know if I believe it either, but I want to".

The 5 of us were all so excited. Truly a memory for a lifetime.

Best to you all,
Scott

24
Sibling Loss / Re: When do things get better?
« on: May 13, 2014, 10:05:07 PM »
Hi Searaccoon.  As you know, there is no real answer to your question.  However, I do agree with Terry in that you are really still in the "beginning" stages of grief.  That might sound unbearable but do know that it will get better.  I lost my sister 5+ years ago. (She was also 39). It has been one hell of a rocky road for me but the intense, never-ending pain has subsided. Try to allow yourself the space to grieve.  People told me it would be 2 maybe 3 years. I did start turning a corner around 3 1/2 years. 

Please keep posting and tell us more about your brother and his beautiful daughter.  This board "kept me sane" (and maybe alive).

Hugs to you,
Scott

25
Sibling Loss / Re: How is everyone doing?
« on: May 07, 2014, 10:50:20 PM »
Hi Terry. Thanks for reaching out.  Things have been alright in my world though dealing with some new "stuff" as well.  My first cousin, Kim, was diagnosed in November with Stage IV colon cancer. She had her colon, liver, and lots of other stuff resected and she's now on chemo.  She "has a chance". Kim (she's 50 years old) has been a big part of all of my family's lives since Jori died. She is VERY close to Bryce and Sean, my nephews. In December, she was at my house playing with my little girl ("Evie", 2 1/2).  They were giggling and having so much fun. I watched from the distance and had a feeling of, "this is what I'm missing with Jori gone", while being thrilled that I got to see it nonetheless. Next thought: "my G-d, she's (Kim) going to die too". I think this grief thing might jade us (me), a bit! ;)

In any event, I miss my sister like crazy but I have re acclimated into society, to some degree.

I am always (and still) so grateful to you and to the members of this site. Not sure I'd be here today had I not found you.

All my best,
Scott

26
Sibling Loss / Re: Separation & Divorce
« on: January 22, 2014, 09:47:11 AM »
Hi Helene.  Good for you for taking positive steps in your life toward doing what's best for YOU.

As you know all too well . . . grief sucks.  However, I am really confident that you are going to 'turn a huge corner' with this major change in your life.  It might not be tomorrow or next week but soon.  Soon you will be "on the right side of the coin".

You should be very proud of yourself.

Hang in there -
Scott

27
Sibling Loss / Re: BAD DAY!!
« on: January 22, 2014, 09:42:03 AM »
Hi Lindsalee.  I want to echo what Doug just said.  This forum is a really remarkable venue for you to share your thoughts and feelings and get some genuine support.  I lost my sister just over 5 years ago.  The friends that I made on this site really helped me get through the lowest of the lows.  As Doug said, it will get . . . easier . . . it will become different . . .

I wish that there was some way to speed up the process for you but, unfortunately, you just need to fight on.  It took me a good 3 years before I was able to re-connect with friends and begin to live my life again.

When I was in the depths of my worst moments, the only thing that really helped at all was to know that there were others out there thinking about me.  Know that I am thinking about you . . .

I hope that you continue to utilize this support group.  Write lots . . . and write often . . . I think that you'll be pleasantly surprised at the responses you will receive.

For now, take it day to day . . . hour to hour if you must.

Best,
Scott

28
Sibling Loss / Re: So numb with pain
« on: December 31, 2013, 09:53:51 PM »
Hugs to you, Gail. Just know that others are thinking about you. . . Myself included.

29
Sibling Loss / Re: Happy Birthday, Scott!
« on: December 31, 2013, 09:50:51 PM »
Terry, you never cease to amaze (and comfort) me. Thank you.

Happy and healthy new year to you, yours and all of the amazing people on this site.

30
Sibling Loss / Re: Wishing you all...
« on: December 25, 2013, 08:52:08 PM »
Thank you Terry and same to you!  You know my story . . . Come on January 1!

Best to you and yours,
Scott

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