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Topics - ScottW

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Sibling Loss / Advice on Professional Therapy
« on: April 27, 2009, 06:43:52 AM »
Hello all.  I posted below "How long until I feel better".  Thank you for those who replied.  I have a history of seeing a therparist well before the death of my sister.  I've seen many and over the past several years I have found someone who has helped me through many personal issues.  However, now that "we're dealing with the loss of my sister" it just seems hopeless.  What is she going to possibly say to me that would make me feel any better?!

I'm just wondering what people's experience has been relative to professional therapy, dealing with the loss of a sibling and when it might be 'work'; or if it's really an exercise in futility.  What about medication . . . has anyone gone that route?

Thank you in advance for your response(s).

Sibling Loss / How long until I feel better?
« on: April 24, 2009, 08:50:16 AM »
On 11/29/08, my sister died in her sleep - 3 weeks shy of her 40th birthday.  She had not been taking care of herself.  She was going through a painful divorce from an abusive (not physicially) alcoholic.  Toxicology revealed that a combination of prescription medications led to her death.  We are certain that this was not 'intentional'.  My sister left behind two boys (ten and eight); my parntes (in their mid-60s) are now the boys' legal guardians.  All of our lives have effectively revolved around my sister's since her kids were born.  My sister was two years older than me (I am a male) and she was my best friend.  Nearly 700 people attended her funeral - she was loved by everyone.

When we (my mom, cousin and me) went to clean out my sister's home, we were just flabbergasted by the condition of her home.  It was messy . . . and it was dirty.  This was not 'my sister'.  I knew she was going through a particularly rough period.  I begged her to see her psychiatrist.  I even phoned her psychiatrist because I was so worried.  She was on anti-depressants and, having been there, I knew that she needed her meds adjusted.  I lent my sister money, I tried to do everything I could to help her . . . but what more could I have done?!

I have a 13 month old son and I cannot get my head around the fact that he will never know his aunt.  I have some video of them playing together (when my son was 6 months old) and I will always treasure it.  Over the past five months I have pretty much been 'in hibernation' - I don't want to talk to nor see anyone (but my family).  Some of the shock and numbness is wearing off and I'm so sad and so . . . angry.  I know it may not seem obvious but, again, this was not a suicide - it was an accident.  I know this b/c the combination of drugs in her system was not unlike the combo (I've learned) she had taken many times.  Her doctor told her she needed to change medications because of her high blood pressure - she just ignored him!  I now realize that we 'lost my sister' well before she passed away.

Some days are better than others - some nights I have complete meltdowns and then it takes a few days 'to recover'.  I just miss her so much and don't understand how I'm going to continue to live my life . . . we all say - "Thank G-d for my son" - he keeps us going.

I just want some of the pain to end - when does it start to get better?!

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