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Messages - Lori, Alex's Mom

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Child Loss / Re: Walking On Thin Ice
« on: December 10, 2006, 07:55:04 AM »
Prayers and peace to you.

Alex's Mom

Child Loss / Re: Wendy's Memorial Date
« on: December 10, 2006, 07:54:27 AM »
Prayers and peace to you.

Alex's Mom

Child Loss / Re: Your choice of escape *SUBJECT SPECIFIC THREAD*
« on: December 10, 2006, 07:51:31 AM »
My son taught me his favorite RPG game, GuildWars last May.  From May to about the end of September, he would come over every day and we would get on our separate computers and play this interactive game together.  My two daughters would give me hell for playing it so much.

I still get on and play as a way to help me wind down, but it's not fun like it used to be.  My son had his own account, so that's what he left to me.  It was a world where he felt accepted and victorious.  And it was a world that he let me into.  I left his first character on his account, and I have made some of my own characters, which all have "Max the Wild" in their names.  This is because Alex was my wild thing - as in the book, "Where the Wild Things Are."  Max is the name of the child in the book.

Funny thing I noticed:  (M)om plus (A)le(x) = Max

So I get on and play my Max characters.  And I take benedryl to sleep cuz I don't want to get addicted to anything.  (lol)

Child Loss / Hello to everyone... having a hard time responding
« on: December 10, 2006, 05:02:16 AM »
I just came to the site last night, and I've read and cried and read and cried.  That's a good thing cuz I've been holding my emotions back.  I'm normally a very emotional person who wears my heart on my sleeve, but  since the funeral I have this weird hold on my emotions it's a bit scary.  I let go every once in awhile, but usually only by myself.

I'm normally an outgoing person who reaches out to others, but I hide now from so many people.  I find I'm even hiding a bit here and not even feeling that I can reach out and offer support to others.  It makes me so sad to look at all these beautiful children and to know the pain and sorrow that so many parents feel, especially since I now understand it firsthand.

I hope that I will be able to open up on this site.  I know it's already given me a place where I can go and open up my emotions and cry.  I cry for all of you and I cry for myself.  Even though right now I can't respond to many posts please know you are all in my heart and prayers and I thank you for your support and prayers.

Alex's Mom

Child Loss / New to site -- and new to this club :(
« on: December 09, 2006, 08:25:21 PM »
My son, Alex, just died on 11/5/06.  He was 20 years old and suffered from mental illness.  He killed himself.  They say he jumped from the 14th floor of a hi-rise.  There are a lot of un-answered questions that will probably never be answered.  I know he killed himself but exactly how he died I am not completely sure of.  I guess it doesn't matter, does it?  No matter what, he's gone.

I really find myself reaching out to other parents who have lost their children, because I don't feel anyone else can possibly even begin to understand all the crazy feelings I have.

Is there anyone else who has lost a child due to suicide?  I have many, many conflicting emotions.

I'm sorry this is what has brought us all together; however I hope to be a friend and make some friends.

Lori, Alex's Mom

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