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Messages - Tom

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Sibling Loss / Re: loss of siblings
« on: April 20, 2019, 01:43:16 PM »
Barb -  my apologies for getting no response.  I was under the impression that a moderator was monitoring things.  Looks like I was wrong and my apologies.

The loss of a sibling is a tough one.  They are often the only people we have who know our story from the beginning and when they die we are left alone with fewer folks knowing our own history.  This is of course, on top of the basic grief of having a loved one die.

Thank you very much for reporting this post since it got my attention.


Spouse, Partner Loss / Re: Introductions thread
« on: January 19, 2017, 03:15:46 PM »
Hi Soledad and Julie -  Good to see you here and I wish things were a bit busier.   The traffic here comes and goes and is hard to predict.

There is no substitute for an ally in grief who is going through something similar and you both seem to have had some commonalities in your situations.  The sudden and unexpected nature of your losses are a huge factor that complicates the process of grieving.  Basically, it means that it takes a while longer to fully believe the loss has happened.  It's a tough time.

I will be checking in from time to time and I think Terry should be around. 


Jenny, if you posted here you must already be activated.  Right?


Child Loss / Re: I am grieving mother and need help
« on: March 18, 2015, 05:43:21 AM »
Welcome Sandra.  Sorry you are joining us and to hear of your 7 year old's death. I am sure other mothers and dads will be responding to your post.  Tell us about your little guy.


Grief not related to deaths / Re: daughter
« on: March 16, 2015, 07:45:34 PM »
Hi sadintexas -  It's a tough time when kids move far away.  Very tough.  Can you skype with her?  I remember that helped me a great deal in a similar situation. 

Main / Re: Loss & or Lost?
« on: March 16, 2015, 07:41:11 PM »
Very good point vjw.  I remember a mentor of mine back in the 1980's was holding a staff meeting at our counseling center and a new therapist was introducing herself to about 20 staff members.  She made the bad mistake of saying "We lost my mother last year" and my beloved mentor bellowed from the back of the room with the deepest strongest voice you can imagine "Where'd you lose her!"  He went on to explain to her that euphemisms were not helpful and that the fact is that people don't get lost, people die. 

Spouse, Partner Loss / Re: It's Been Two Weeks
« on: March 16, 2015, 07:34:54 PM »
Yes vjw, grief wreaks havoc on our sleep.  Get the sleep you can when you can get it.

Spouse, Partner Loss / Re: For my dear friends on our wonderful board.
« on: March 16, 2015, 07:32:20 PM »
I love that song!  Thanks Janka.

Child Loss / Re: Introducing Our Precious Children
« on: January 20, 2015, 06:55:20 PM »
Not to worry Roxy.  Looks good on my screen.


Spouse, Partner Loss / Re: For Tom.
« on: January 15, 2015, 02:10:15 PM »
Thank you Janka.   That was beautiful.


Child Loss / Re: Emotions
« on: January 15, 2015, 09:09:32 AM »

I agree, Barb that losing a child is like losing a limb. The pain always a reminder of the love.

Yes indeed.  The major difference is you never see someone go up to an amputee and ask them if they are over it yet!

Parent Loss / Re: My guide, light and hope.. my daddy
« on: January 06, 2015, 02:23:37 PM »
Hi Roxy --  You should have the ability to post it here.  Feel free to simply post the url into the reply and lets see if it works.  If not, I will see what I can do.


Parent Loss / Re: My guide, light and hope.. my daddy
« on: January 05, 2015, 06:00:42 PM »
Don't worry about the size of the image Roxy.  If you want a youtube shown just paste in the url into a post and it should pop up.  Be sure to use the youtube url that starts with http: not the one that starts with https:


Spouse, Partner Loss / Re: The boards have been updated
« on: January 04, 2015, 04:10:44 PM »
Excellent!  Thanks Janka.


Spouse, Partner Loss / Re: Happy New Year Song.
« on: January 04, 2015, 01:29:21 PM »
I really enjoyed the fireworks video and it reminded me that I have not set up the app for the boards to load youtube videos automatically.  At this point you should be able to simply type in the link and the video will appear in your post.

If you try this and it doesn't work be sure that you are using the youtube link that starts in HTTP://  NOT HTTPS:// and it should work just fine.


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