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Messages - Irene

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196
Grief not related to deaths / Re: Reflections On the Grief of Monet
« on: December 14, 2006, 07:37:46 PM »
Hi Lonnie,
  You write very well. I likely have told you that before. I think that it is quite common, that we do take our loved ones for granted, and don't realize what we have until it is no longer there.
  Your comment about seeing the golf shirts and how it was a painful reminder of your dad, is something that I can identify with. When those sorts of reminders creep up on me, I find it hard, as I still can't imagine living the rest of my life without my mom, and yet I have to. 
   Your caring nature is so evident in your postings. I am sure that the people you care about love you deeply, although Monet must have been more of a romantic than most people would admit to being.
   I am thinking about you Lonnie. I hope that you manage to get some rest. You certainly deserve it.

197
Main / Re: the candle is put away
« on: December 14, 2006, 10:23:56 AM »
Hi Lauren,

   It's ironic, that I was working on a reply to you, and then got called away, and now when I went to send it, the message was lost(timed out). It's like someone is trying to say to me,"Feel Lauren's frustration!!" 
   What I had tried to say was that, in some ways I understand your feelings of pain and loss with regards to your mother, and in some ways, I will never truly understand. My mother and I, did not have a perfect relationship, especially in the teen years, but I always knew where I stood with her.
  I wonder sometimes if part of your guilt and pain is due to never having the chance to resolve issues with your mother and her abuse. I don't think that this was ever your fault.
    As far as not remembering how devastating grief can be, is that a survival tactic? I know I would be using it ; ) . I hate what loss can do to a life too. I know that when I was younger, my parents always seemed to be heading to this funeral or that one. I think that they just got used to death and saying goodbye. As an adult, I realize that this is never as easy as I thought it would be. There will be a day, when we will have to deal with fresh grief again. I know now, where I can turn, and I hope you realize that I(we) will be there for you too.

198
Main / Re: It's almost a year
« on: December 12, 2006, 07:53:34 PM »
Hi Fingers,

    I wish I knew what to say, that would magically make you feel better now. The anniversary dates(especially the first one), and other special days, have a way of bringing back all of those memories, in crashing waves. I hope that there will be some thoughts that make you smile in the next few days, when you remember your mom.

199
Main / Re: Christmas Blues
« on: December 12, 2006, 06:53:01 AM »
Hi Lonnie,
   This is the third time that I have tried to send you a reply today, and now I am starting to see the frustration that Lauren had in trying to send replies. ; )  My
problem has more to do with children, just needing help with something and me coming back to the computer, and then finding a child has exited me off of the website, so it is fixable when the children leave the house for school.
   I'm sorry that you're having a rough time right now. I am guessing that your health is really tied in with all of this, and that is just adding to the drain on you.
I know that when I feel sick, it is a struggle just to get off of the couch, and since you have been ill for several weeks now, I can only imagine how much more difficult that can be. Hopefully, your infection will be treated with the correct medications, and the world will look a little brighter-and slightly more manageable.
   You mentionned that your counsellor feels that you are doing well in the circumstances, but you don't feel that you are. Do you feel comfortable in discussing all of your feelings with the counsellor? I think that it's important that you would feel that she is a safe person to discuss your issues with.
  As far as loving God, you set a good example for those of us(me-prime example) that struggle with our faith on a daily basis. You are an inspiration on that point.
   I hope that soon you will feel better and please know that for all of the listenning that you do to others, there are people here that would be happy to take a turn to listen to you.
   

200
Main / Re: ARRRG
« on: December 11, 2006, 12:24:00 PM »
Hi Lauren,
   When I post, there is a little box, that says how long to stay logged on. I think that the default time is 60 minutes? It must have been a really long post ; ) Either way, when you do get through we will be all ears.

201
Main / Re: I am a Monster
« on: December 11, 2006, 12:15:15 PM »
Hi,

   You're not a monster.  You were involved in a relationship that as it developed, turned abusive. Only you know why you turned to someone else, whether it was for revenge or to seek comfort elsewhere. You must know now, that this wasn't the answer, and your ex-boyfriend isn't willing to forgive you.
  I know that this must be extremely difficult for you, but there were problems in the previous relationship, and even if your boyfriend took you back now, the problems would most likely return without counselling.
  At this point in time, I can only suggest that if there is counselling available in your area, this would be a good idea. You are blaming yourself for the loss of the relationship, but the relationship sounds like it had hit the skids, before you ever looked elsewhere for what you were missing. 

202
Main / Re: made it to new board
« on: December 11, 2006, 06:09:05 AM »
Hi Lauren,
   Your trip is something I dream about. I've often said to my kids,"Wouldn't it be great to just get in the car and drive, and spend a week or two with no destination in mind?" I still haven't done that.
   I hope that you will have that chance to get away with friends or co-workers. I think it would be great for you to see how much you can enjoy yourself in a group, but I am really happy that you got away and had fun. 

203
Main / Re: made it to new board
« on: December 10, 2006, 06:18:26 PM »
Hi to everyone,

   It's nice to see that some of you have made it here. Hopefully, there will be more soon, and especially those that really need the comfort that this board can provide.
Lauren, I've been thinking about you. Nice to see you hear Lonnie, and Fingers-nice to see that your humour made it here too. 

204
Main / made it to new board
« on: December 05, 2006, 11:15:09 AM »
Hi,

   I am just signing in for the first time on this board. Hopefully, soon there will be others trying this out as well.
Irene

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