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Messages - Judy-Marc's mum

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Child Loss / Thank goodness today is over
« on: December 25, 2007, 06:34:30 AM »
Here in Australia it is now 11.00 pm.  Thank goodness that the day is over.  On Sunday I went to our main shopping cen tre to get all the last minute bits and pieces and while I was there my chest went tight and I found it hard to breathe ( I think I must of been having a panic attack.  Never had one before.)  All the people I think.  Didn"t want to be there.
Today I had a few spits when everyone thought that it would be the same as always.  Mum will do it, as I always enjoyed doing Xmas.  Not this year.  Help needed.
We went to a friends place this afternoon who is also from where we lived before here, and her son was here also.  It WAS SOO GREAT to see her son Matthew and his girlfriend.  He was Marc's best friend.  (Friends since they were 4).  We had a bit af a Marc fest.  Talking about him and how he should be here.
Well all the cards are down now and I have another year to get prepared for the next one.
Hope that you all have a day that is copeable.  Mine was.
Good luck and I hope that you all have a good xmas

Child Loss / Re: O/T pics of my special babies
« on: December 21, 2007, 07:58:12 AM »
I know what everyone means.  They are just awesome.  Mine is just a bitzer but when I am feeling down I ask him for a cuddle and he just snuggles into my chest.
Love the boy

Child Loss / Re: Cory 9-3-75 to 12-19-05
« on: December 21, 2007, 07:22:47 AM »
Your video of Cory is so awesome.  You must be so proud of your beautiful son.  His children are so beautiful.
I must admit that I cried all the way through it.
Go Cory.

Child Loss / I hate this time of year
« on: December 21, 2007, 06:47:34 AM »
Today is 1 yr on since Marcís funeral.  That is the day that reality hit; he wasnít going to be walking in the door any time soon.  Until then I kept on waiting for the door to open and him saying ďIím homeĒ and kicking his dirty work boots off at the door.

I know that we saw him in the funeral home here in Darwin but it wasnít the same as seeing him in Perth with all the family and friends saying I so sorry.  Sorry about what, I wanted to ask. Numb, Numb, Numb

Still so very numb. I hate being here when he is not.

I go to work; I come home and drink to keep myself numb so that I donít have to think. 

My husband doesnít like to talk about Marc because it hurts him too much, but it hurts me more not to.
Sorry raving now, but I canít help myself.  S**t.

The pain off handling this is unbelievable.  I never thought that I would have to go through all off this.  Marc was such a good boy. 

I would like to share with everyone that has lost a child what my friend Judy wrote for Marc as I think that it applies to all of our children.

The phone rang in the early hours of the morning and I was informed that Marc was involved in an accident and had not survived. As I sat crying with Ron, I took a few minutes to gather myself and then I thought, ďItís just not fairĒ.
No. It was just not fair. We can try to share with Marcís family the grief they feel, but it is not really in our power to do so. We are compelled to measure the loss of our friend, our mate, our brother or son in our own way and turn instead to what we can share; the extraordinary life that touched us all.
When Jude rang me and told me about Marc's accident, all I could think was, "My God, what a waste." My second thought was, "How could God be so cruel and unfair." So many people waste the gifts they have been given, and squander lives of endless possibilities. But he was a person who was going places and a joy to see grow up.
Not long ago, many of you sitting here today with heavy hearts of sorrow were saying goodbye and good luck as he made his journey to Darwin. His future was bright. Many of you who said goodbye then were celebrating his future as well as, maybe, even envying his chance to see other places.
Grieving is a strange thing. You go through so many stages, from disbelief, to anger, to feelings of unfairness, to questioning why or how, and finally to a form of acceptance tinged with intense sorrow. Actually, every feeling you have about the death of a youthful loved one is intense.
I tried hard to think of all of my experiences with Marc. Being a realist, I pressed myself to think of everything, the good and the bad. What I realised after two hours was that I couldnít think of any bad, and it wasnít the product of a faulty memory. Almost all of my experiences with Marc were positive and happy encounters, and the ones that werenít, were entirely during the typically awkward years that are early adolescence. But even those experiences were not negative, merely neutral.
Marc was like another son/brother to Michael along with Phillip but unique in his own way. He was a fantastic, polite boy and joy to be around. He was well respected and loved by his peers and by us adults, he will always hold a place in the Wright familyís hearts forever.
Marc, you were a great student and friend. We celebrate your life as one with many many accomplishments. Thank you for touching all of us and giving us the joy of knowing you.
Thank you, Marc. Your spirit will continue to live on in all of us and I know if there is a football field up in heaven, Marc is standing on it now with the footy under his arm waiting for us to finish so he can get on with his game. So Marc, Iím finished, and as you fly with the angels, kick a goal for all of us.

So let us all think of all of most precious children and let the living also know what they mean to us while there is still time
Time is so short

I know that I havent replied to a lot of posts, it is because I dont know what to say.  Untill I figure it out for myself I know I am no good for helping anyone else.

I hope that you all get through this time of year ok

Thinking of you all


Child Loss / Sharing Marc's Song
« on: December 17, 2007, 06:54:25 AM »
Snow Patrol Chasing Cars Lyrics

He chose his own songs for his funeral. This one, Forever young and Far away

We'll do it all
On our own

We don't need
Or anyone

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel

Those three words
Are said too much
They're not enough

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads

I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see

I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Yes i would in a heart beat if i could.  if only.
I have to think about Dad, Danielle and Phillip,
They are the only ones keeping me going at the moment
Marc I cant believe that it is nearly a year now since I gave you your  last kiss goodbye.
I will never forget you.  I love you so much my baby

Child Loss / Re: song
« on: December 17, 2007, 03:36:16 AM »
Same goes.  "ditto"  nothing changes.  I wish that we could all change the journey that we are on and have all of our most gorgeous children back.  Life doesn't have the same meaning that it once had.

Child Loss / Re: all the birthdays
« on: December 16, 2007, 01:17:07 AM »
Thank you for those words Brenda.  If i thought getting through his birthday was hard, this was a thousand times worse.

Child Loss / Re: Brynnie's birthday
« on: December 14, 2007, 08:07:38 AM »
Happy birthday brynn.   Hope your mum feels your kiss on the breeze.
he is giving you a kiss from all of us

Child Loss / Re: What do you say?
« on: December 08, 2007, 05:29:32 PM »
Thank you to everyone that replied to my post.  We have just been away on holidays in Thailand and your thoughts and ways of answering people was so very helpfull with the answers that I could give to people that we met over there.  I have 3 children and will always have 3.
Love you my Marc

Child Loss / Re: Marc's Angel Day
« on: December 08, 2007, 05:09:58 PM »
Thank you Dawson.  The baby is his niece Makayla (now nearly 5) and yes she did adore her uncle Marc

Child Loss / Marc's Angel Day
« on: December 08, 2007, 06:42:51 AM »
Marc Aidan Nuyens
01/09/1988 - 10/12/2006
A year has now gone by so slowly, but so quickly.
Someday we will be together again,
Until then keep that beautiful smile on that handsome face,
And know that we love you and miss you so very, very much.
Love Mum, Dad, Danielle & Phillip

Child Loss / Re: beautiful song from our kids to us
« on: December 08, 2007, 06:37:06 AM »
So, so beautiful. The words are just so perfect.

Child Loss / Re: His Birthday Is Tomorrow
« on: November 16, 2007, 01:59:28 AM »
Happy Birthday Charlie.  Will think of you and your family as it is the 16th here.

Child Loss / Re: She said she saw our son.........
« on: November 14, 2007, 03:18:54 AM »
There is a boy here in darwin that looks a lot like Marc.  He wears a lot of the same clothes (with the socks pulled up) and the blonde curly hair.  I nearly lose it every time I see him.  Our daughter Danielle (26) has seen him also and she has the same reaction as me.  She a called out to him once and ran after him.  He is the spitting image of Marc.

Child Loss / Re: Calendar
« on: November 12, 2007, 04:34:48 AM »
Karen, thank you for your support since I joined.  All I would like to say is that I hope that you all had an easier day today.Thinking about you.

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