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Messages - John-Danielle Marie's Daddy

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61
Child Loss / Re: Some sad news--Dena's new granddaughter.
« on: July 07, 2008, 05:04:16 AM »
(((((Dena, Misti Rose and family))))),
I am so very sorry to learn of the stilbirth of baby Misti Rose. I too have lived through this terrible sad event with my sister. My first niece Nicole Rose was stillborn at 9 months...13 years ago. My deepest thoughts and prayers are with Misti Rose and her beloved family.

(((((Dena))))),
You provide so much love, compassion and support for so many of us here on this journey, I hope we can do the same for you as you experience yet another terrible death in your family.

God Bless his newest Angel, Misti Rose,

John-Daddy of Angel
Danielle Marie Plourde
1/4/1995 -2/20/2006
Memorial Website: http://danielle-marie-plourde.memory-of.com/



62
Child Loss / Re: Poem: Another Day Without
« on: July 03, 2008, 10:03:41 AM »
Thank you for sharing your beautiful poem.
Again...I am so very sorry your son died.

With deepest sorrow,
John-Daddy of Angel
Danielle Marie Plourde
1/4/1995 -2/20/2006
Memorial Website: http://danielle-marie-plourde.memory-of.com/

63
Child Loss / Re: my son his story
« on: July 03, 2008, 10:02:37 AM »
Dearest (((((Charles, Chad’s Dad))))),
   I am so very sorry to read of the death of your handsome, beloved son Mitchell Chad “Bad Chad”…please accept my deepest condolences.
   There are no words that can help ease your pain and heartbreak after the horrible accident and the death of Chad, just know that I care and understand. No matter where you are in this world, the pain suffered after the death of a child is felt by many..
   It is ALWAYS very difficult to have to welcome another member to the Child Loss board…but I am so glad that you have found us. This is a wonderful group of loving and compassionate parents who truly understand. This is a lifeline for many of us.
   My 11 year old daughter, Danielle Marie was also killed in a terrible auto accident in Massachusetts in February of 2006. She died of a massive head injury at the scene of the accident.
   When I read about your handsome and all the lives he touched, I knew that another family was devastated and I wanted to reach out and let you know that you are not alone and that others feel your pain.
   Charles, you and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers for continuous strength and comfort each day.

With deepest sorrow,
John-Daddy of Angel
Danielle Marie Plourde
1/4/1995 -2/20/2006
Memorial Website: http://danielle-marie-plourde.memory-of.com/

64
Child Loss / Inspiration: What My Child Has Taught Me
« on: July 02, 2008, 09:55:19 AM »
What My Child Has Taught Me
Author Unknown

I've learned that you can keep going long after you think you can't.

I've learned that learning to forgive takes a lot of practice.

I've learned that friends can become strangers, and strangers can become friends.

I've learned that ignorance isn't an excuse for the lack of compassion.

I've learned that some people will never, ever - "get it".

I've learned that the community of sorrow is the strongest of all.

I've learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.

I've learned that your life can be changed in a matter of minutes.

I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon.

I've learned that you should always leave loved ones with loving words, it may be the last time you see them.

I've learned that love isn't measured by the amount of time you have with someone.

I've learned that some sorrow is so deep that it has no words.
...But so is love...

Wishing You Peace Along the Journey,
John-Daddy of Angel
Danielle Marie Plourde
1/4/1995 -2/20/2006
Memorial Website: http://danielle-marie-plourde.memory-of.com/


65
Child Loss / Hope for the Day: Unanswered Questions
« on: July 02, 2008, 09:53:20 AM »
Unanswered Questions
By: Clara Hinton

So many questions are left unanswered when grief enters our lives. 
"What did I do to deserve this?"
"Why me?"
"Why is my life always in such a state of sad turmoil?"
"When will things get better?" 
"Why don't others seem to understand?"
"Where is my support when I need it?"
"Where is my hope?"
 
Loss leaves us utterly miserable for a while. 
Often we're afraid to use that word, much less express it. 
We think that we have to put on a stiff upper lip and move forward when inwardly we are being torn apart every minute of the day. 
Grief is real, and it hurts,  But, it is not forever!
 
Take time to grieve, but be sure to make time to see beyond your grief. 
Today may be full of heartache and pain like nothing you've ever experienced before.  But, tomorrow is a new day, and a brand new beginning. 
There is a miracle waiting just for you! 
There is a seed of hope planted within your heart that is growing each and every day, and one day soon it will burst forth into the most brilliant colors of hope and joy that will rescue you from the raw pain that you are feeling today.
 
Hope never dies, and it cannot be shut out. 
Hope will find you. 
Hope will appear in the fluttering of the butterfly. 
Hope will shine in the morning sunrise. 
Hope will shout, "I love you" in the brilliance of the rainbow.
Hope is alive. 
Your hope is near
 
"There is hope even when there are no answers."  --Clara Hinton

Wishing You Peace Along the Journey,
John-Daddy of Angel
Danielle Marie Plourde
1/4/1995 -2/20/2006
Memorial Website: http://danielle-marie-plourde.memory-of.com/

66
Child Loss / Poem: Another Day Without
« on: July 02, 2008, 09:51:41 AM »
Another Day Without

The stillness of the morning wakes me up,
but I don't see why the world begins another day
When my son's not here with me.
This house feels strangely silent
and his room, a lonely place
I long to touch his soft brown hair
and kiss his small sweet face.
I'll never get to hear him call out
"Dad, Come see what I just made!"
I'm only left with memories Please God--don't let them fade.
Deep in my heart, his spirit lives
His laughter; I'll still hear
He'll forever be my little boy
though I can't hold him near.

Author Unknown

Wishing You Peace Along the Journey,
John-Daddy of Angel
Danielle Marie Plourde
1/4/1995 -2/20/2006
Memorial Website: http://danielle-marie-plourde.memory-of.com/

67
Child Loss / Inspiration-Allowing Grief
« on: July 02, 2008, 09:50:00 AM »
Allowing Grief
Writen by: LindaC

I am sorry if I don't grieve correctly.
Please share with me the standards you use to judge.
In the beginning if I held my emotions it wasn't enough.
Yet now you do not wish to be reminded of what I can never forget.

How can one judge someone else’s emotions?
Who are they to say what is correct.
Where does one find the expiration date for grieving their child?
Is our pain any less as time goes by?

We are able to get through our good and bad days.
We have had practice now in how to put on an act.
Yes, the entire world is a stage and I am a consummate actress.
I am playing the role of my life and I must give it all that I have.

Nobody wants to see my tears now.
No one wants to acknowledge that I still hurt.
Everyone wants life as it used to be.
Can't they see that so do I?

Where are the books that tell us when we can feel and when we cannot?
Is there a set formula that we must follow?
Will there be a test we are expected to pass?
Why are we not allowed to have our own feelings?

Until the end of my days I will grieve my child.
I am sorry if you think I am doing it wrong.
It will be done at my own speed.
He was my child and not yours.

Please allow me my grief!

Wishing You Peace Along the Journey,
John-Daddy of Angel
Danielle Marie Plourde
1/4/1995 -2/20/2006
Memorial Website: http://danielle-marie-plourde.memory-of.com/

68
Child Loss / Article: Who's In Your Front Row?
« on: July 02, 2008, 09:48:50 AM »
Who Is In Your Front Row?
Author Unknown

Life is a Theater, Invite your audience carefully.

Not everyone is healthy enough to have a front row seat in our lives.
There are some people in your life that need to be loved from a Distance.

It's amazing what you can accomplish when you let go of or at least minimize your time with draining, negative, incompatible, not going anywhere relationships or friendships.

Observe the relationships around you. Pay attention.

Which ones lift and which ones lean?

Which ones encourage and which ones discourage?

Which ones are on a path of growth uphill and which ones are going downhill?

When you leave certain people do you feel better or do you feel worse?

Which ones always have drama or don't really understand, know or appreciate you?

The more you seek quality, respect, growth, peace of mind, love and truth around you, the easier it will become for you to decide who gets to sit in the front row and who should be moved to the balcony of your life.

Remember that the people we associate with will have an impact on both our lives and our income. And so we must be careful to choose the people we hang out with, as well as the information with which we feed our minds.

We should not share our dreams with negative people, nor feed them with negative thoughts.

Who's in your front row?

Wishing You Peace Along the Journey,
John-Daddy of Angel
Danielle Marie Plourde
1/4/1995 -2/20/2006
Memorial Website: http://danielle-marie-plourde.memory-of.com/

69
Child Loss / July Birthdays and Angelversarys
« on: July 02, 2008, 09:46:53 AM »
My Dearest Friends,
I want to wish all of you and your precious angels who are celebrating a birthday or an angelversary in July much peace, comfort and continued healing.

A VERY Happy Birthday to all our beloved angels born in July. May your parents find peace and comfort on these special dates. Moms and Dads, may you cherish your precious angel’s memories. Be kind to yourself and may a smile warm your heart as you remember all the wonderful times you spent with your children while they were here on earth with you. They are watching over you and protecting you. They are forever in your hearts.

For those beautiful boys and girls who are having angel dates during the month of July, know that you are loved and in our hearts forever.
To the parents and families of these angels know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. Try and find some peace and tranquility on this date. Do something special in memory of your child, celebrate their lives, and keep their memories alive. Remember someday we will be with our angels again. They are free spirits. I want you all to know that I will keep you all in my prayers. Our children are always with us.
They may be gone, but NEVER forgotten. My thoughts and prayers are with you. I offer you the deepest and most sincere love, friendship, comfort and compassion.

Take care and God bless each and everyone of you!

John, Danielle Marie's Daddy

70
Child Loss / Re: marrage after death of a child
« on: June 23, 2008, 10:15:26 AM »
Can I share with you my view?
My wife and I have been married for 23 years. And we have been blessed with 2 wonderful children, our son, Jonathan and our beautiful daughter, Danielle.
There is no DOUBT that Danielle's death affected our relationship, mentally, emotionally and physically. Not only did I have to mourn the death of my daughter, but I also had to face the possibility of my wife dying or becoming physically or mentally disabled as a result of her head injuries. Thankfully, she has made a full physical recovery.
I don't know if this will make any sense, but living through these horrible events made me love and appreciate Bernice more than I could ever imagine possible!
I truly believe that our daughter's death has made our marriage STRONGER!
We each believe that the only way we can survive this horrible part of our lives is to be there for each other.
We have to understand that we each grieve differently and we will each have to take on that challenge as it comes. All I know is that we have been there for each other for 20 years before this terrible day changed our lives forever. As we ALL know, NO ONE can predict what the future holds. We MUST take our lives one moment at a time and be thankful for each moment we have together.

John,
Danielle's Daddy

71
I am so very sorry that you have been in such an abusive relationship. I am very sorry for the loss of your baby girl.
I for one (being a male) KNOW that only COWARDS beat on woman and children. I am repulsed when I see any story relating to woman or children being physically or sexually abused (or worse) by a "man" who they feel will care for and protect them from harm.
There is NO EXCUSE for ANY man to abuse a woman or child!
I am glad you realized this before it was too late.

John
Danielle’s daddy.


72
Child Loss / Re: Justice System is a joke.
« on: June 23, 2008, 09:47:26 AM »
There is NO JUSTICE that will satisfy our yearning to find some sort of "justice" when it comes to another who is responsible for causing the actions that lead to the death of our beloved sons or daughters. I think it all depends on the accused and how remorseful they are. It is very unfortunate that our “justice system” is so blind to our cries.

In my case, the young woman who was charged with vehicular homicide made a terrible mistake that fateful morning and received a sentence (that was previously discussed) of 15 year loss of license, 200 hours of community service and 3 years probation.

Was the punishment harsh enough???
I don't know!
Do I want to see her in prison???
What good would that do...it will NEVER bring Danielle back!
Was this woman SORRY for her actions that lead to this horrible accident???
YES, she was extremely remorseful and will have to live with this for the rest of her life!
Will I EVER forgive her???
I just don’t know!

John
Danielle's Daddy

73
Child Loss / Re: thinking of you fathers on Fathers Day
« on: June 13, 2008, 04:49:34 AM »
Thank you all so much for keeping us dads in your hearts this Father's Day
I have also been VERY depressed this year...I just miss my baby girl so much. Her handmade cards, the wonderful fingerpaintings, the burnt toast for breakfast...but most of all... :'(, I miss her warm, loving, and wonderful hugs and her gentle kiss on my cheek as she smiled and said "I love you daddy"...GOD IT HURTS SO MUCH!!!

John

74
Child Loss / Re: It's been awhile and I need to explain
« on: June 06, 2008, 06:05:42 AM »
Dearest (((((Brenda))))),
I am so very sorry that your life is so difficult at this time…I wish that I had an answer for you on how to “deal” with your daughter. What she is doing is so very wrong and she may be forced to learn the “hard” way. I know it sounds cruel, but if she is stealing from you, you may consider pressing charges to perhaps get her the proper help she needs and it may HELP you too. It sounds like she is VERY ANGRY and confused. I am SURE that it has to do with missing her sister and the only person she can lash out at is you and she is taking her anger and frustration out on you.
Please know that we care about you and are ALWAYS here for you to talk to …No matter HOW BAD it gets. We UNDERSTAND!!! I will be sending prayers to your beautiful daughter Jessica to help her sister and guide her on the correct path and to send you continuous strength and courage during your difficult time.

Keeping you close in thought and prayer,
John

75
Child Loss / Group Discussion-SIX T's of GRIEF RECOVERY
« on: June 05, 2008, 05:42:35 AM »
Dear Friends,

I found the brief article below in my files this morning. What do you think of what the author is saying? Are these suggestions practical? Will they work? Is anything missing? What do you think?

SIX T's of GRIEF RECOVERY
Author Unknown

1. Time

 How long depends upon the individual; no one can accurately predict. Well meaning friends and relatives may erroneously tell you, "It's been____months, you should be over it now." You may be tempted to set those same expectations for yourself.

Take the time to grieve now, not later. Unless you experience the pain and learn to live with it, unresolved grief will continue to come back when you least expect it in many other forms such as anger, guilt or depression. You'll know when you have recovered when perhaps one morning you wake up and realize that choking lump in your throat has gone and you have begun to
resume control of your life.

2. Tears

Allow yourself to cry; the tears are healing.

Let them flow for their cleansing value; they carry away waste chemicals that have built up in your body. If you cannot do so in public or at work, find a safe place such as a bereavement outreach or self-help network that can understand your tears.

It's amazing the volume of tears and what brings them on (it's not always an obvious reminder of your loved one)!
Remember to drink more water; tears tend to dehydrate you.

3. Talk

Talk about your memories of your loved one and the details of their dying.

Find understanding listeners. Talking helps to finalize their death and to dispel the myth that they will be back. Sometimes friends and relatives fear to mention the deceased thinking it will make you cry.

Assure them that you want to talk because it will help you recover.

4. Touch

You miss those hugs and touches from your loved one. Sometimes soon after their death, you build up a defensive shell around yourself. You may feel like a robot or a zombie. Allow yourself to be pampered, hugged and cosseted. If you're all alone without any family, make arrangements
with a friend to give you a "healing hug" if you look or feel like you need it.

Bereaved children need lots of hugs to reassure them of your continuing love.

5. Trust

You must trust in yourself that you will recover from this grief. You may have begun to question your trust in your religion. The anger you feel about your loved one leaving so many details for you to deal with may cause you to doubt your trust in yourself. It is a growing and learning experience to rediscover you as an individual.

6. Toil

Each person grieves in their own way that is right for them. Other words for toil are tiring work, drudgery, hard struggle, and a laborious effort, strenuous fatiguing labor, to achieve a task despite the difficulties.
Recognize that grief recovery is all this and more, but it's worth the effort.
You will need to get more rest and eat healthily and regularly to renew your body for this work you must do.

John-Danielle Marie's Daddy

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