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121
Child Loss / Sean's Girlfriend is struggling...advice?
« on: December 03, 2006, 11:44:18 AM »
I think I'm trying to figure out how involved I "should" be and I already know there isn't one right answer to this situation so I'm hoping that you folks might have some insight or ideas I haven't come up with yet.
Quick background: Sean and Christeena dated off and on through high school. After high school she moved, they broke up and then as soon as she was back in town they were together again. They had been back together about a year before Sean's death and had been living together for about six months. We found an engagement ring in Sean's pocket after his accident. He hadn't said anything to me yet but I can only imagine that he intended to give it to Christeena -maybe on New Year's Eve? I gave the ring to Christeena and she wears it today.
Christeena's family has not been very supportive of her after Sean's death. This isn't new behavior for them. Over the years she generally called me first before her own Mom when she needed support, guidance or to celebrate. I consider her one of my "surrogate kids".
Early after Sean's death I made sure to include Christeena in absolutely everything that I would have included Sean. The last 3-4 months I've been struggling to keep my own head above water and haven't invited her nearly as much. In the meantime she has picked up a second job and is working a ton so her time has been limited.
Now the dreaded month of December is here. Christeena is struggling as much, maybe more?, than I am. Sean's birthday next Sunday, Christmas and then of course his angel date are all within 18 days of each other. I don't know the best way to help her through when I can barely envision myself getting through. One more complication - Sean's brother Jason doesn't like Christeena so having her at family gatherings gets complicated.
So here I am asking for advice. Christeena's family isn't supporting her in the least bit. She's been told point blank to "get over it" and "move on." The only support she has is a brother that out of state and her roommates that are doing their best but honestly are so young they barely know what to do themselves. And yes - Christeena's roommates also were Sean's friends so they have their own stuff to deal with. These kids are so young - 20-23. I just don't know how to help without putting myself in jeopardy.
Thoughts?
Quick background: Sean and Christeena dated off and on through high school. After high school she moved, they broke up and then as soon as she was back in town they were together again. They had been back together about a year before Sean's death and had been living together for about six months. We found an engagement ring in Sean's pocket after his accident. He hadn't said anything to me yet but I can only imagine that he intended to give it to Christeena -maybe on New Year's Eve? I gave the ring to Christeena and she wears it today.
Christeena's family has not been very supportive of her after Sean's death. This isn't new behavior for them. Over the years she generally called me first before her own Mom when she needed support, guidance or to celebrate. I consider her one of my "surrogate kids".
Early after Sean's death I made sure to include Christeena in absolutely everything that I would have included Sean. The last 3-4 months I've been struggling to keep my own head above water and haven't invited her nearly as much. In the meantime she has picked up a second job and is working a ton so her time has been limited.
Now the dreaded month of December is here. Christeena is struggling as much, maybe more?, than I am. Sean's birthday next Sunday, Christmas and then of course his angel date are all within 18 days of each other. I don't know the best way to help her through when I can barely envision myself getting through. One more complication - Sean's brother Jason doesn't like Christeena so having her at family gatherings gets complicated.
So here I am asking for advice. Christeena's family isn't supporting her in the least bit. She's been told point blank to "get over it" and "move on." The only support she has is a brother that out of state and her roommates that are doing their best but honestly are so young they barely know what to do themselves. And yes - Christeena's roommates also were Sean's friends so they have their own stuff to deal with. These kids are so young - 20-23. I just don't know how to help without putting myself in jeopardy.
Thoughts?
122
Child Loss / Sean's 1st Angel Date - December 28th
« on: December 02, 2006, 07:29:42 PM »
No words yet. Just love and miss you bunches.
Mom
Mom
123
Child Loss / Sean's 23rd Birthday - December 10th
« on: December 02, 2006, 07:25:32 PM »
Miss you kiddo. Stop in and visit your brother today. He threw you an awesome party last night!
Love ya -
Mom
Love ya -
Mom
124
Child Loss / Re: Just wondering...
« on: December 01, 2006, 10:19:35 PM »
No worries. I understand. Thanks for the quick reply!
125
Child Loss / Just wondering...
« on: December 01, 2006, 09:52:05 PM »
Just wondering if the messages from the "old" board are archived anywhere? There are a couple posts I would love to print out and a couple I need to follow up on....
126
Child Loss / Re: SO Relieved & Happy!
« on: December 01, 2006, 09:49:09 PM »
Nice to "see" you all!