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Messages - Rizzo405

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Parent Loss / Lost 2 mothers 2/2/11 and 4/4/11
« on: April 08, 2011, 10:41:40 AM »
I am 35 years old, My mom died 2/2/11 suddenly in her sleep. She was my best friend. The night before she asked me to stay home from work because of the snow storm and I told her I would be ok. She said "I Love You, I'll talk to you in the morning". Morning never came for her, I thought it was weird she hadn't called with me out driving in the snow storm but wanted to let her sleep in and not worry. Around 10am I got the phone call. This pain is so deep, and I felt like I had swallowed it enough to start to function again then my mother in law suddenly collapsed Sunday 4/3/11 and went in to ICU and we went and made the decision to take her off life support and let her go. She was awake gasping for air and her mother kept telling her to just go to sleep. This experience has brought back those feelings like a ton of bricks. Life still has to go on, bills have to be paid, my job has to be done, and I cannot even think past going from my bedroom to my livingroom. I lost my dad 1/4/2000 but he was sick for months and we had time to say goodbye, also I had my mom to tell me what to do next. Now I feel like an orphan. I talked to my mom 3-10 times a day and was at her house every 2-3 days helping her with things. I then turned to my mother in law and we were close, my wife and I had planned to visit her an hour away on 4/3 and that's when she collapsed. I cannot understand how or why this is happening. I am afraid someone else close will be next. I can't even console my wife because I am still numb from my own mom's passing just 2 months ago, my mom was cremated and we haven't even buried her urn yet. I am all over the place with this post so it might not make alot of sense, I will get my thoughts together and try to type things out a little better in future posts.

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