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Messages - Carole-Carlos Mom

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Child Loss / Re: This two year mark just sucks
« on: February 12, 2007, 03:43:40 PM »
You are so right. The two year mark does SUCK!! I have been crying since the first day of February. My Carlos birthday is the 8 th of February. I have been remembering his last birthday with all of us. Carlos died the 22 nd of March just six weeks after his 26th birthday. I am feeling all hollow and empty inside. My brain refuses to function and I am just falling apart day by day. I am not looking forward to the month of March. Someone, anyone if you can please fast forward these months to May or June, any month but February and March. I am lost and floundering, I don't know what to do with myself and this terrible pain that I feel. For some unexplained reason I am remembering everyday since his last birthday, very vividly. It is making me NUTS!!! I so desperately wish he were here. He would me laugh with his silly antics or make me mad with his loud music. All I have is silence and memories. I love you so much, Carlos.

Child Loss / Re: Going to Hawaii
« on: January 15, 2007, 03:49:32 PM »
I went to Hawaii in November of last year my thoughts as I stepped off the plane were, "I wish Carlos were here with me" He and I went everywhere together, Dottie, after a few hours in Hawaii, I realized that my loving sidekick, my loving pal was with me every mile of the trip. I saw and experienced things thru his love and mine together. It was a wonderful trip. The last morning in Hawaii, I went to the ocean with my coffee and sat on the rocks, to my surprise some unlnown long legged bird came to me and began eating my morning muffin along with me. Since Carlos death I have had a thing with birds. Dottie, my Carlos stood 6 ft 7 in tall, so you see the significance of the long legged bird. I love you, Carlos.

Tammie, your Mom needs you so. Please be with her and let her know that you are right beside her every step of the way

Child Loss / Re: Weekly Question-Getting "OVER" it!
« on: January 08, 2007, 09:07:05 AM »
Good Morning John, First off let me tell that Danielle Marie is Beautiful!

My name is Carole. My sons name is Carlos. My best friend, my sidekick, & my buddy.
I have never had anyone tell me to "get over it". I have had them tell me it's time to let go. I will never let go of Carlos, until I am with him again. I need to embrace him and his life more than ever.
Usually I just look at them kind of weird and do not talk about my Carlos if I am around them, ever again.

I certainly hope so. Carlos death will never be ok with me, but I have to hang on to HOPE for myself, Carlos and the rest of my children and grandchildren.

Lots of Love. Tons of understanding from my family and close friends.

Reading, crying, I still can not listen to the music Carlos liked. Can not go into the stores that he used to shop at for his clothes. Too heart breaking all over again.

John, I don't post much here, but wow do I ever read every single message. I care about all of you here on this board and Hope we all find a little peace and comfort from each other.

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