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Messages - mjlasa

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Spouse, Partner Loss / Re: Michael, how's the move?
« on: April 14, 2017, 07:09:09 AM »
Finally sold the condo and the new house is ready. I went for a visit but got overwhelmed with estate matters and then my best friend died. Im back in my solitary room in boston unable to do much but lie here .

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Spouse, Partner Loss / Re: Michael, how's the move?
« on: March 11, 2017, 02:26:39 PM »
I am visiting the new home but am not really comfortable here. Too many memories. Im starting to feel hopeless.

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Spouse, Partner Loss / Re: Michael, how's the move?
« on: February 16, 2017, 03:21:48 PM »
Hi Terry
I have purchased a home for my wife's kids and me to live in, but the sale of the condo fell through. I haven't actually seen the place yet. Im hoping to go check it out soon but travel is still tough for me. I am currently in a day mental health program though im not sure how much good it is doing. I miss my wife and my life.

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Spouse, Partner Loss / Re: New here
« on: January 19, 2017, 11:04:55 AM »
Terry
The pain continues. I am in the process of selling the condo we had in georgia (ive retreated to another place i had in Mass) and buying a new home in ga with my wife's son (my stepson) and family. I would have an inlaw quarters. Im all alone in mass and didnt want to live in the place my wife and i shared in ga. Im ambivalent about the whole thing but feel i need family support. I have none where i am. Im putting a lot of money into the purcchase and am not even sure if and when ill go there. Paralyzed but made a commitment to son and family as they love me and dont want me alone. Thoughts?

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Spouse, Partner Loss / Re: New here
« on: January 09, 2017, 03:02:05 PM »
Today marks three months since my wife Roxanne died. Last night I went out and heard some music - the first thing ive done since she died - and i enjoyed it. I thought, boy, im doing pretty good! Haha. Not so much. Came crashing down today. Back to bed. Will this ever end?

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Spouse, Partner Loss / Re: New here
« on: January 09, 2017, 02:55:00 PM »
Today is three months since my wife Roxanne died. I actually went out last night to hear music - the first thing ive done in three months - and was able to enjoy it. I was thinking, boy, im doing pretty good! Haha. Not so much. Today i came crashing down. Back to bed for me. Ugh. Will this ever end?

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Spouse, Partner Loss / Re: New here
« on: January 09, 2017, 02:52:38 PM »
Today is three months since my wife Roxanne died. I actually went out last night to hear music - the first thing ive done in three months - and was able to enjoy it. I was thinking, boy, im doing pretty good! Haha. Not so much. Today i came crashing down. Back to bed for me. Ugh. Will this ever end?

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Spouse, Partner Loss / Re: New here
« on: December 18, 2016, 12:57:02 PM »
I am afraid i will be alone on christmas. My only options involve traveling long distances and i'm not up for that. How to get through the day?

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Spouse, Partner Loss / Re: New here
« on: November 27, 2016, 12:21:54 PM »
Arthur
Thank you for your kind words. My situation was like yours- my purpose, caring for my disabled wife, is gone along with her. Very tough.

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Spouse, Partner Loss / Re: New here
« on: November 24, 2016, 08:24:56 PM »
Terry
Well today was the hardest holiday ive ever experienced - and i spent it with a most loving friend who held me, massaged me and generally tried her best to make it otherwise. Thanksgivin was always our biggest holiday snd i cried a lot. She just said cry, its ok. But im starting to think i should be in a mental hospital. Im simply going crazy.

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Spouse, Partner Loss / Re: New here
« on: November 18, 2016, 11:25:38 AM »
I will be spending the holiday with the friend I mentioned as she has no family here either. It feels like the right thing to do.

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Spouse, Partner Loss / Re: New here
« on: November 09, 2016, 08:39:28 AM »
Terry
You are so sweet to check on me. I'm here barely. Its been a month and I see little improvement if any. This morning has been one of the worst. A friend dragged me out to golf yesterday and i went through the motions.  I go from maybe thinking i'm getting better to going back to want my life to be over. (No plan just the feeling.) my wife's son and family want me to live with them but that involves a big move. I havent got much going on where I am though an old female friend (old as in Ive known her for a while, not old in age) has been sending me love every day. Im not sure what to do with that. She does seem to care though. Gives me a little lift. I know I'll never replace Roxanne but this woman's caring seems to ease the pain a little. Its confusing but being alone all day every day is like torture. Im thinking of inviting her to dinner. Im hoping this is not a no-no. I dont see it as dishonoring Roxanne. Confused.
Michael

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Spouse, Partner Loss / Re: New here
« on: November 02, 2016, 07:01:12 AM »
Terry,
Your little notes are something I look forward to reading. Its a connection I guess. Its hard to have a routine when you have no life. Taking care of Roxanne was my routine, that and playing a little golf in between doing the things she needed and then spending the afternoon just talking to her and having her and our cat close. Thats all gone. Im in our old house now 1000 miles away but im afraid to go back into the other house where she lived and died. I have no idea what I am doing. My routine is sleep as long as i can, try to kill the day, get to dinner with a friend hopefully and then get to bed. Just taking a walk was a big deal. Pathetic I know. I have a counselor and a ton of grief books which may be helpful but all sound the same. I just can't shake her image in my mind. The image of her dying in my arms just plays over and over. Sorry to whine to you. Not that many others underStand.

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Spouse, Partner Loss / Re: New here
« on: November 01, 2016, 10:06:08 AM »
Thank you Terry. It is hard to care for myself, because I barely care what happens to me. I have lost 10 pounds in the three-four weeks. I did go out for a nice fish dinner last night. I also took a short walk today. I let Roxanne's son and his family take our cat as I am trying to avoid the house we shared and am staying in another place we owned in another city. I do miss the cat. Not sure Im making clear decisions.

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Spouse, Partner Loss / New here
« on: October 31, 2016, 07:06:34 AM »
My name is Michael. My wife Roxanne died three weeks ago. We were together 26 years. She died after a lengthy series of illnesses but unexpectedly. Her various illnesses kept me busy taking care of her. Now I have no partner and nothing to do. I miss her terribly. The loneliness is eating me alive. I can barely function. What is the point?

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