Messages

1

Suicide Loss / Re: Almost 3 yrs. since Dad left

« on: October 16, 2016, 02:33:19 AM »

Thanks Terry, I think with Dad's death date coming up it just brings up a lot of emotions . You never expect suicide to touch your loved ones and if it does it's something beyond any pain you have ever known. Dad and I were very close, I feel like a large part of me died with him that day. Not only that so many other past traumas have resurfaced and are consuming my head and with medication and therapy I still find no relief. It's exhausting.
But thank you for the welcome and I'm so sorry for the loss of your father.

2

Suicide Loss / Re: Almost 3 yrs. since Dad left

« on: October 13, 2016, 07:36:50 PM »

Thanks for responding back. Yes, dad's death was suicide and I did find him. He had shot himself in the head. I found him behind a privacy fence, in the dark and cold evening hours. It was horrible. I was in shock and went into investigator mode. The when I went inside the house I fell apart. Can't get that image out of my head. There was no note.

3

Suicide Loss / Almost 3 yrs. since Dad left

« on: October 10, 2016, 08:02:50 PM »

Oct 29th will be three years that my Dad has been gone. The weather is turning colder and the same chill is in the air as when I found him. Since then it's been a rollercoaster of emotions and fashbacks of old traumas that I thought were well put away. 18 years of Law Enforcement, Fire Fighting and EMS, you see a lot of bad stuff. Plus I worked 7 yrs. in a big Emergency Dept at a hospital. There's a slide show going on in my head and it will not stop. I'm seeing a T, on Wellbutrin and Lexapro, but it doesn't seem like things are changing.