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Messages - paul.1

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Spouse, Partner Loss / 5 months gone & Why are familys so false
« on: November 10, 2016, 09:00:53 AM »
Hi all my name is Paul  this seams so hard for me to find the words. As I am not the kind of man to show my feelings only in the right company.

 I have just gone  49 and I lost my  partner Mandy age 49 in June we have been together from school so Mandy is all I know as when I lost my Mother a few years ago & Mandy was there for me thick & thin and a shoulder to lean on but now I have no one and  nobody  seams to care on Mandy's side  as NOT 1 of them have ever been to are door or rang text nothing so I had to doo every thing by ringing texting them and when talking to them there so false saying were all here for you but not a tear from any of them and if they do cry there's no tears so I just look with no remorse as its all false with them.

Then I was in and out of Hospital just after Mandy fell asleep for 3 weeks NOT  1 visit or a call text nothing from her side of the family then I got a text the day I got home just saying we didn't know you was poorly or been in hospital but my family had told them even the Doctor had asked them how I was so they did know.

They was always not happy with us as I started work at 15 years old and saved the best we could so we always had a nice home from the first one age 18 Mandy 19 to this home. When they had to call they all talked about us and what we had I used to tell them many is the youngest Daughter of 4 they all didn't seem to like us for what we had worked for. But we always helped them if they needed us for any thing MONEY mainly if you no what I mean. As there was no holding me back when it came to Mandy's send off Horses & Carriage  you name it we had it as you only want the best for a loved one. Do you think this is the reason why I seam invisible to them my head is battered.         

This is so hard as we lived next door to her parents for 14 years with no trouble or so I thought. As this was are first home together and then we moved witch was only a quarter of a mile away not a different town. So every day for me now is sat in the house or at the Grave side and if they see me coming they leave then come back minutes later and only talk if I speak first. And then they always talk about them self's and never ask how your doing nothing so I am lost.

And if I had spoke out to them like I have talked like I have done on this site today They would gloat that I am suffering as they are the type of people so I cant drop my guard for a minute  with them so SUFFER IN SILENCE for me.   

Now I don't know what to do as I don't really drink so no pubs we both lived around each other made each other tick But now the Clock seam`s to have stopped.. As some say on the site they have no 1 to talk to unless you pick up the phone and ring them or any one I am  lost.  There will be people out there got the same or something like and feel as you have NO 1 at all.

Sorry for going on and on but this is only a tip of the iceberg that I have put as the rest of it would make you sick truly no joke.. Once again sorry for rattling on.

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Spouse, Partner Loss / Re: Introductions thread
« on: July 15, 2016, 04:32:30 AM »
Thank you Terry for your reply and the kind words. But its the emptiness feeling lonely and much more my heads battered. 

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Spouse, Partner Loss / Re: Introductions thread
« on: July 14, 2016, 01:09:20 PM »
Hi to the site..... I am not the sort of man to talk about my feelings but here we go.

My name is Paul age 48 years old I sadly lost my Rock 5 weeks ago 7th June with a sudden heart attack  she was only 49 bless her we had been together since we was 14 years of age.

Now I am totally lost as I lost my Mother 10 years ago and she was there for me all the time when I was down now I have no one to talk to or lean on at this bad time.

sadly no one really talks in my family since my Mother passed away.  So I cant talk to them as they would gloat over my pain I am going through I hope some one out there will understand what I mean.



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