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Messages - AlonaR94

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Parent Loss / Re: Introductions
« on: June 10, 2015, 07:27:19 PM »
Hello all

I  am an only child and have just lost my mother, who was a single parent.  I am 21 years old.  When I got the call that she had passed I felt like my chest was collapsing.  I felt like I was dying.  My mother had been disabled for the past eleven years and dealt with many health problems which sent her to the hospital numerous times each year.  Additionally she still dealt with emotional issues from her own mother's death back in 2001 from cancer.  Our relationship was very rocky due to me having to take on so much responsibility for her care.  She did not take care of herself the way she should have and this frustrated me.  I felt like I was being more of a mother to her than she ever was for me.  I have so many emotions right now in addition to grief that I feel like I'm going crazy.  I feel like God is punishing me for something.  I think I am a decent person and I don't understand why one person has to deal with so much suffering in their lifetime.  I wanted to enjoy being 21 this summer and go out and enjoy life, but now I just feel like staying inside crying all day.  I just don't know what to do. 

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