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Messages - ashleybarnhill

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Main / Re: Information about the Main Board
« on: December 02, 2008, 07:27:36 PM »
I just signed in last night and I need to talk. My father passed away last Jan., he was 75, and had alzheimer's. Every night when I sleep I dream of him. He didnt know me the last few months of his life. I was his caretaker. When I dream he is alive and well, but when I speak to him he doesn't know me. Each night my heart is ripped out. I don't know how to move on. If I don't cry, I feel like I don't miss him enough. I feel guilty about not taking better care of him. Like I should've done a better job. My days are consumed with thoughts of him. I see him everywhere I look. I live in his home, at aleast for a few more weeks. I just found out that the bank is starting the paperwork to foreclose on the home. Now I have something else to mourn. I've lived here almost all of my life. Does what I'm feeling ever get any easier? Or is this how I'm going to feel forever?

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