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Messages - Adams Brokenhearted Mama

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Child Loss / Belated Fathers Day thoughts
« on: June 18, 2019, 03:07:19 PM »
Sorry all, sometimes I just get so wrapped up in my own life that I forget what a lifeline this website was to me in my darkest earliest hours.
So much of grief is related to the grieving Mothers and yet the Dads are right there too with their hearts broken.
I hope all you grieving Dads had some sort of sweet sign from you precious angel and rather on focusing what we do not have right in front of us anymore your heart was able to swell with overflowing love of beautiful memories.
Your Sister-In-Grief,

Child Loss / Re: Where is everyone?
« on: June 18, 2019, 03:03:55 PM »
Hi Terry,
Sorry to hear that you were very sick. Hoping it's all behind you now. Hmmmm, never thought about the posting slowdown and FB. Maybe so.
Kate has slipped waaaay back and is currently incarcerated. She'll be out in about 6 more months and hopefully this time she will get it.
Craig has slowed down so much it's not even like the same man. I think the physical limitations are brought on by the immense grief and ongoing issues with Kaitlin.
Me, I have slowed down too but like to keep on chugging along.
XO Paula

Child Loss / Where is everyone?
« on: May 20, 2019, 08:55:30 AM »
Almost 13 years ago when I found  my way to this website it was a g-dsend for me. Now there is practically no activity? Tom Golden do you know why? I haven't even seen Terry being active on the site-is all well with her?

Child Loss / Mothers Day 2019
« on: May 12, 2019, 10:18:55 AM »
Thinking of all my Sisters & Brothers in Grief.
I share your pain.
Wishing y'all a sign from your angels.
XO Paula

Child Loss / Re: Life
« on: February 20, 2019, 09:16:31 AM »
Terry, what's happening with this board? I don't see much in the way of our "older" posters nor much activity from newer posters? This was such a G-d send for me in the earliest darkest of time.

Child Loss / Life
« on: February 10, 2019, 10:30:59 AM »
I here today just to vent. There is nowhere or no-one that I want to talk or see since there is nothing that can be done to help the situation. I've been on this journey so long that I know better to fall into the lull of false happiness. My key to living after Adam passed is to have hope for my remaining children and my struggling child. I wanted to believe so badly that things had turned a corner for her that I am angry, disappointed and fighting going down this rabbit hole yet once again.
I will recenter, refocus and in time get through this, however each time is painful.
Thinking of you Terry as I write this. I imagine you will read this and worry-please don't. It is just a dark period for me now, like others dark period that have come before this current one.
The board is awfully quiet. There is any core group anymore. I wonder why people don't naturally gravitate to this website anymore

Child Loss / Re: Holiday Time
« on: January 03, 2019, 01:22:57 PM »
Thank you LaVonne. A good new year to you as well.

Child Loss / Holiday Time
« on: December 21, 2018, 10:14:57 AM »
Another holiday season and another year comes to a close. Whether you are a newly bereaved parent or a seasoned veteran in this g-d awful journey the holidays bring forth memories of seasons past and the reality that our angels are no longer in our earthly world. The holidays stir up all sorts of emotions and being a bereaved parent really stirs the pot and ratchets it up to a new level.
My advice is to take a deep breathe and start to decompress. Inhale good thoughts by counting your blessings and exhale the sadness and negativity. Proceed moment by moment. Moments are very brief periods of time, easier to manage than day by day or hour by hour. Try to prepare for the holiday by planning what you will or will not be doing. Try to limit any difficult situations and if you must be in one prepare as best as possible and acknowledge the upcoming difficult situation so you are not caught unawares.
I wish you all peace and blessings and with hope that you will receive a positive sign from your angel.
Your Sister-In-Grief,

Child Loss / Re: 20 years today
« on: December 14, 2018, 07:18:19 PM »
You are right, the board is not as active anymore. In the beginning I found it to be a lifeline, now I rarely go on. How is your granddaughter?

Child Loss / Re: Happy Heavenly Birthday, Adam!
« on: December 14, 2018, 07:15:16 PM »
TU LaVonne for your kind words and prayers.

Child Loss / Re: just checking in
« on: August 10, 2018, 02:03:04 PM »
My SIL who just lost her 2nd child said that we have more upstairs than down here with us. As we age that is the truth. I agree with you Terry that every other loss pales in comparison to losing our children. We just hang in and try to make the most of life and enjoy the blessings that we do have.

Child Loss / Re: Happy Mother's Day to our Moms!
« on: August 10, 2018, 02:00:02 PM »
All celebratory days are no long 100% happy for  me since losing Adam. The closest I get to 100% happy is being with my two precious grandchildren. Their innocence and purity melts my heart.

Child Loss / Re: Happy Heavenly Birthday, Adam!
« on: August 10, 2018, 01:54:41 PM »
Hi Terry,
As you know I haven't been on this site in months.
TU for remembering Adam's bday. Hard to believe that is was his 12th heavenly bday.
On 7/30, Craig's 45 yo nephew OD'd. It is so hard to see his parents struggling with their grief and this is their 2nd child to bury. The 1st one they lost was 43 years ago, a beautiful 22 month old daughter to SIDS. Their surviving two are active addicts and I sincerely hope that they find their way so that my BIL & SIL don't lose all their children.
On a spot of good news, my daughter has turned her life around and is doing good. Still has legal issues to wind up from her past but appears to be on track to do so.
Very cautiously optimistic!
XO Paula

This forum was a lifeline to me early on in my grief. Tom, Terry and quite a few of the parents who lost children around the same time that I lost my son helped to carry me through the darkest of days. I rarely check in anymore but the holidays makes me sentimental and brings forth memories to me. Also, a long time friend lost her daughter one year ago today and in trying to help emotionally support her I always recommend this website to her.
I wish peace of heart for all of you and blessings to sustain you.
We are the war veterans of life and everyone else is civilians and just cannot get it. Take as much time as you need to reflect, cry, and hopefully tender memories will ease the way.
With love,
XO Paula XO
Adam's forever Mama

Child Loss / Re: ((((Paula))))
« on: September 06, 2017, 09:09:01 AM »
Today is Adam's 11th angelversary. As you very well know, these dates are like an arrow piercing your already aching heart.

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