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Messages - oneangel

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Spouse, Partner Loss / Re: Just wanted to share
« on: May 08, 2012, 10:20:48 AM »
Thanks Terry!
I know I feel better after I share, but I find it difficult to do when I'm right in midst of it all. I've been getting quite a few headaches too with the stress but am trying to deal with everything.

Thanks for listening!

Thinking of you today Jason.
Happy heavenly birthday Jen!


Spouse, Partner Loss / Re: Just wanted to share
« on: May 07, 2012, 09:31:30 PM »
Terry: The past few weeks haven't been the greatest. My older two children have been having some behaviour issues at home. They are fantastic at school and at their friends' homes, but have been pushing the limits and my buttons to the maximum. I have lost my temper a few times and regret it each time. I have been really missing my husband's presence a lot lately. I hate the fact that I am the only disciplinarian in the home.
I am also trying to declutter our home. We just keep accumulating and not getting rid of anything. I used to have such a neat and tidy home, but definitely lived in. Now it is just clutter. I feel better everytime I get rid of a bag of 'stuff'. I am hoping that this will also help the kids feel 'lighter' too. We are way too bombarded right now. I am thinking about having a yard sale with the toys we are getting rid of and using the money to get one bigger thing for the family, something I would otherwise not be able to afford. We'll see!
Anyway, having a bit of an emotional night tonight but really should get some sleep as I start work in 6 hours.
Nice to be chatting. I have been reading posts though regularly, just no willingness to respond lately, sorry:(

Spouse, Partner Loss / Just wanted to share
« on: May 07, 2012, 09:29:30 AM »
THE VINES  (Bill Pridham)

Picture if you will, a large forest. Somewhere in the forest there is a small clearing. In the center of the clearing, there are two young vines, side by side, growing together. In time, their branches and tendrils intertwine. Together, they face icy blasts of winter, the welcome of warmth, and they bask in the golden glow of summer.

Then one day, someone comes along and decides that one of the vines would do better in another place. Upon digging it up, he finds that the only way the vines can be separated is to cut them down the middle--thus they are parted.

We have been told that all wounds are healed by time. That remains to be seen. But, we are assured that wherever the vine was taken, a part of the remaining vine went with it, and the remaining vine holds near and dear a part of the vine that was taken away.

Spouse, Partner Loss / Re: ((((All))))
« on: April 27, 2012, 10:50:38 AM »
Congratulations to you both. May you be blessed with a long and healthy life together!! :)

Spouse, Partner Loss / Re: Five Months Ago Today......Some Thoughts
« on: March 13, 2012, 07:00:44 PM »
Hey Andy,
Just wondering how you are doing?



Spouse, Partner Loss / Re: Back
« on: March 13, 2012, 06:58:32 PM »
Hope you had a peaceful day with your son!

Spouse, Partner Loss / Re: Was just wondering
« on: March 10, 2012, 01:51:37 PM »
I haven't but would love to. I ask around to friends and family if they know of anyone they would 'trust' to be a good medium. Still looking!
I love watching the show: Long Island Medium on TLC. I feel signs from my husband too. Let me know how it works nout if you do go see one. I did have a friend see a guy and she said she felt she was on a date with her husband again. But unfortunately he is too far for me to go see him.

Spouse, Partner Loss / Re: A light in the darkness?????
« on: March 10, 2012, 11:40:37 AM »
I know how you feel Angie.
I hate Sunday mornings. We would always make a big breakfast0 eggs, pancakes, toast, bacon, the works!
I also hate making decisions by myself. My kids and I have been shopping around for a new bedroom set for my boys. We have been doing so for a few weeks. We finally settled on one this morning and bought it. My husband was good at researching what we needed and always asked the right questions. I am always anxious when I need to make even the smallest of decisions.
I miss him lots everyday. I too still say out loud0 PLEASE JUST COME HOME TO ME!!!

Spouse, Partner Loss / Re: Dealing with this alone
« on: March 06, 2012, 11:50:50 AM »
Hi Andy.
I am so sorry for the loss of your partner and for the pain and loneliness you are feeling. I lost my husband 2 1/2 years ago and am now left to raise our 3 young children alone. Although I have my children here all of the time, I still feel completely alone, all of the time. I too suffer from panic attacks, but fewer than at the beginning of this terrible journey. Coming here is a good step for you to start sharing your feelings and thoughts. Hospice is another good place, they should be able to connect you with someone who has lost like yourself. Try going for a walk if possible, even if it's just around the block. The fresh air and exercise will be good for you.
We are here for you when needed to talk. Hope you find what you are looking for, but know that there are caring people here, if you can't find them anywhere else.


Spouse, Partner Loss / Re: A light in the darkness?????
« on: March 03, 2012, 09:04:28 PM »
A year and a half after my husband died, my friend's mother passed. Her viewings at the funeral home was in the same room that my husband was in. First, when I found out which funeral home it was to be in, my heart sank into my stomach, but I worked up the courage to drive over, I asked a friend to meet me there for support. Then, when we got there and saw which room she was in, I started shaking, feeling sick to my stomach, sweating, etc... I was not able to go in. I asked my friend to go tell her that I was not able to walk in the room but that I am thinking of her. They wound up walking out to the lobby together to see me there. She understood, we hugged and I quickly left.
Don't feel bad if you cannot go. Your friends should understand your feelings. Call them ahead of time. You can be there for your friends in other ways.
Wishing you all the best.

Spouse, Partner Loss / Re: Poem for my darling
« on: March 03, 2012, 08:57:29 PM »
All so beautiful!  (((HUGS)))

Spouse, Partner Loss / Re: Insomnia
« on: February 29, 2012, 07:14:28 PM »
May you find some routine and the proper help to get you to be able to relax and start getting some sleep. When I started exercising back in the Fall, things were starting to settle with my sleep patterns. But I have slipped back into sleeplessness since the holidays, and now my daughter(6yrs old) has been really acting up and giving me a really hard time which has sent me into a whirlwind of mixed emotions. I am close to the end of my patience. Hoping a family grieving program starting in the spring sometime will help with my current situation.

I never realized how much you have had on your plate. Your words of wisdom and unfortunate experience have been very helpful. I too work from home, running a daycare, but this is actually becoming frustrating to me now. Wish I could find some other work from home job. Still looking!
Thanks for your advice Terry!

Spouse, Partner Loss / Re: 6 months today
« on: February 23, 2012, 12:09:12 PM »
Sonya, I know how you feel. May tomorrow be a bit better.
I want my husband back desperately too. Walking in a fog without him here. Not sure if what and how I doing things are the right way, but don't know what else or how else to live right now. I am living and doing just because it has to be done. The end of the day though, I am completely drained.
As Jason said, these dates are so hard to get through, but everyday, we cannot accept that they are gone.

Spouse, Partner Loss / Re: Happy Heavenly Birthday, Marc! ((((( An )))))
« on: February 22, 2012, 08:28:00 PM »
Thinking of you today An!!!

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