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Messages - 4Kayla

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Sibling Loss / Re: I miss my Sister so much
« on: November 07, 2007, 07:55:20 AM »
Our stories are very similar.  My sisters 18th birthday was just this past weekend.  Having it so close to her death, we're still somewhat in the denial phase that she's even gone.  We tried our best to honor her birthday, by doing favorite foods and some things we think she'd have liked.  It was still a very emotional day.  I caught myself thinking "I have to call Kayla today and wish her a Happy Birthday". 
It just isn't fair is it?  Deaths are hard enough in a family, but especially when it is someone so young.  I was so looking forward to the days when our age difference wouldn't matter anymore, and we'd be able to do more stuff together.   
Happy birthday to your sister, her first in heaven, and good luck to you and your family to get through it without too much pain.


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Main / Re: Do we "celebrate" my dad's birthday?
« on: November 01, 2007, 03:52:12 PM »
Melanie--

I personally would say yes.  My sister just died in September, and she would be turning 18 this weekend.   Even though we can't all be together as a family due to distance, we are honoring it.   My mom and stepdad are taking out some of her friends and then going to the cemetery, and my family is having her favorite foods and cake for dinner that day. 
We already have plans for honoring her 21st birthday too, by doing the things she wanted to do for that day. 
Obviously it is a personal choice, but I think it is a great way to honor their memory.  To me, my sister will still be 18 years old this weekend.  That is how long ago she became a part of my life, and she always will be, as your dad will always be a part of your life.


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Main / Re: Losing My Beautiful Baby Sister
« on: November 01, 2007, 02:14:55 PM »
Thank you so much.  I resisted joining a group like this because I feel bad telling people how much I hurt when I know they are hurting too.  But then I figured out that those are the only people that can begin to understand why I can't "just get over it".   I haven't had anyone say it to me, but I'm starting to feel like that's how people are thinking.  My husband is great, but with our schedules and our child it is hard to get time to just sit down and talk about it.  I don't like talking about it too much in front of my son, because right after it happened it upset him so badly he had nightmares for quite awhile.  At his young age I want him to only remember his Auntie in a happy way.   
To Kelly and Crushed I am so sorry for your pain.  Accidents are supposed to happen to "other" people right?  I have felt trapped in a horrible nightmare where I can "see" the accident happening over and over again--which I didn't in reality.  It's just the images from my own mind and pictures of the scene and how my sister looked.   Does or did that happen to you too?  I'm just wondering if those horrible images go away.

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Sibling Loss / My Beautiful Baby Sister
« on: November 01, 2007, 12:59:15 PM »
Hi.  I already posted on the main, but this is where my loss is--my sister. I am new to this board and am unfortunately new to this sad group we all belong to, those who have lost loved one.  In September my 17 year old sister was killed with two of her best friends in a horrible car accident when the car they were riding in was broadsided by a 40 foot refrigerated delivery truck.  My sister took the brunt of the force, and had more cause of death injuries than one poor body should have to endure.  I decided it was time to look for somewhere to talk about my grief, because it's so hard to talk to anyone that hasn't endured this pain. 
Everytime I feel like I'm at a "controllable" level in my grief, I feel like I fall back and it's that day in September all over again, and my heart feels freshly torn out of my chest. 
Anyway, that's why I'm here.  I am sorry to everyone else on this page.   I wouldn't wish this tremendous pain on anyone, and unfortunately there's too many people feeling it.

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Main / Losing My Beautiful Baby Sister
« on: November 01, 2007, 07:03:55 AM »
Hi.  I am new to this board and am unfortunately new to this sad group we all belong to, those who have lost loved one.  In September my 17 year old sister was killed with two of her best friends in a horrible car accident when the car they were riding in was broadsided by a 40 foot refrigerated delivery truck.  My sister took the brunt of the force, and had more cause of death injuries than one poor body should have to endure.  I decided it was time to look for somewhere to talk about my grief, because it's so hard to talk to anyone that hasn't endured this pain.  
Everytime I feel like I'm at a "controllable" level in my grief, I feel like I fall back and it's that day in September all over again, and my heart feels freshly torn out of my chest.  
Anyway, that's why I'm here.  I am sorry to everyone else on this page.   I wouldn't wish this tremendous pain on anyone, and unfortunately there's too many people feeling it.

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Sibling Loss / Re: my sister
« on: October 30, 2007, 03:52:33 PM »
I just joined today and saw your posting.  I was looking for a place to find others that may understand my grief, and your posting hit close to home.  I lost my little sister to an accident on September 8th.  Like you said it was the worst call ever.  She was only 17 years old, and was killed with 2 friends, while the driver who caused the accident walked away unscathed.  I am 17 years older than my sister, so besides being the big sister, I felt like a second mom in a lot of ways.  I find that she is all I can think about, and seem to turn any conversation into something related to her.  You're not much further ahead in the grief process than I am, but has talking on these postings helped you?  I'm just wondering if there's anything out there that helps.

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