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Messages - mandy.luera

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Main / Re: emotionless
« on: August 16, 2007, 05:33:55 PM »
thank you all for your advice it is helping me understand alot more now.  again thank you all! :)

Main / Re: emotionless
« on: August 13, 2007, 05:42:09 PM »
Thank you all for helping me understand that it's normal and that people have different ways of grieving.  I think of her alot especially because she would always watch out for me, even though I was five years older.  She would tell me i let people take advantage of me and let them walk all over me, but when she started living with me she stopped all that.  She was my best friend.  She died of a head trauma.  The day of the accident she got hit by a big F-350 truck that was speeding.  When it hit her the blazer spun, the driver side door was bent in, it broke the middle console which made the seatbelt snap open and my sister fell out of the blazer hitting her head first.  her friend who was with her was alright thank God she had cuts and bruises and the guy that hit them only had a scratch on his face.  we thought my sister would live but her brain swelled up too much and cut off circulation to her brain.  i'll tell you all more another time i hate to think of that time sorry.

Main / emotionless
« on: August 08, 2007, 03:42:29 PM »
My sister died July 5, 2007 she just turned twenty years old June 1st.  When she died I cried for a minute and haven't been able to cry anymore when i start to cry i'll stop myself.  I don't know why i won't let myself cry?  My mom says it's cause i don't want to let her go others say i'm still in shock.  She was my little sister but she would call me mamaz cuz she thought of me as her mom i helped raise her.  She even lived with me and now i can't be home really cause i'm scared i'll fall asleep and i can't i have three children 3 yr old twin boys and a 6 month old but all i want to do is sleep and that's never happened.  But when people come up to me to say sorry about my sister they look at me like why isn't she crying i couldn't even cry for her funeral i guess it's cuz i can't believe she's gone i still keep on thinking she's gonna walk through the door any day.  Is it just that i can't let go or what?

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