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Messages - AllysonD

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Main / Re: Candlelight Ceremony - MY DAUGHTER WAS ON TV!!!
« on: December 11, 2007, 06:29:22 PM »
Oh my gosh, that was so wonderfully touching!

Main / Re: Mother
« on: October 30, 2007, 06:02:35 PM »
I am so sorry for your loss. We used hospice for my grandmother who passed on 7/9/06 and it was a true blessing in her final days. My brother also passed away suddenly on 4/13/07.

Sending you hugs..........


Main / Re: Husbands suicide
« on: October 30, 2007, 05:59:18 PM »
I am so sorry Linda. Please do not feel guilty. There is nothing you could have done if he were determined to end his pain. I am thinking of you and your daughter and praying for peace for you.


Main / Re: Anger! Now --- almost five months
« on: October 30, 2007, 05:55:39 PM »
My brother has been gone over 6 months and I am in the "I cant believe it" stage. I think about him and then I think - oh wait, he's dead - and I just cant fathom it in my head. Its like someone is speaking martian to me and its not making sense even after all this time.........

Main / Re: Seeking for Justice....
« on: September 14, 2007, 12:21:46 PM »
Lisa, I hope you can finally get some justice for Russel. I saw on Oprah yesterday, Ron Goldman's sister and father and they were talking about getting the rights to OJ Simpson's book. Oprah kept grilling them sayigng "well what good will it do you? What are you getting out of this? and the father said JUSTICE FOR MY SON and that kind of said it all to me.

Main / Re: Did something new today?
« on: September 11, 2007, 04:49:21 AM »
Way to go! I saw the show advertised last night!!

Main / Re: Faltering Support Systems (cleaning house)
« on: September 03, 2007, 04:12:29 PM »
I dont want to give advice but I do want to say that I know how you are feeling. I lost my brother back in April and even though my husband is great, he just doesnt get it. He thinks I should be over it and he doesnt understand why my mother is so sad and why she talks about him all the time. I suppose hubby thinks she should just forget about him and never mention his name again. He was her SON for goodness sake!

So I just dont mention anything around him and I dont get sad in front of him and I try to hold it all in.

I know someone else here has had issues like this with their spouse. Was it Jazzgirl?

Main / Re: Tonight I'm Crying
« on: August 31, 2007, 04:31:43 PM »
I am so sorry Lonnie. You have helped so many of us, I feel so bad to know you are hurting. I have also just begun to realize that the grief somes in waves. One minute you are okay and you think "oh okay maybe I am finally moving on or making a life or myself" and then its back again, the paralyzing grief and disbelief.

Praying for you.........

Sibling Loss / Re: It has been a while...
« on: August 28, 2007, 11:13:44 AM »
Well his name was Brian and he was 26. He was born when I was 12 - SURPRISE! He was such a great kid. My favorite memory - there are so many. He had this crazy dance he would do. He loved LSU football and last year my husband took him to a game. He called us and he was having the time of his life. I am so glad they got to do that.

The way he used to bother me and my boyfriends when they came over (I was 16, he was 4...pesky little brother!)

The way he was always so kind and patient with my grandmother

The way he always said "Dude"

How excited he was when he called to say he had proposed - and she said YES!

How happy he was at the Mardi Gras parades back in February, 2 months befor he died.

Just lots of stuff.

But yes I bet your brother is loving that you are in the marching band and I bet he's cheering you on all the way!

Child Loss / Re: what has this made you
« on: August 27, 2007, 04:55:20 PM »
Well I know for me having lost my only brother at the age of 26, it has made me realize that there are NO guarantees. You should live life to the fullest every day. If you love someone, tell them. If you are mad at someone, forgive them. Dont think 'oh I'll do that tomorrow" cause there may be none.

I am so glad that the last words I said to my brother were "I love you" and those were the last words he spoke to me as well. I hugged him and drove away only to hear 5 days later that he had been found dead.

Main / Question about things your loved ones did or liked to do
« on: August 27, 2007, 04:51:06 PM »
Okay I couldnt really think of an appropriate title so I hope people will read this and not skip over it.

As many of you know my younger brother passed away this past April (it still seems so weird to type that or say it aloud). Anyway, he was 26 and he had a fiancee that he had proposed to in the past year. My brother was an avid football fan, loving especially the Louisiana State University Tigers.  We (my family) plans to buy a memorial brick to pave the sidewalk leading up to the tiger's cage on campus. I think he would really like that. :)

Anyway to my question, his fiancee "J" and my mother were talking today and J said she could never watch football again b/c it was somethng they did together. My mother said she was going to put on his LSU jerseys and wear them proudly as she watched the games in memory of him.

Which would you be more likely to do?

If your 3rd cousin passed away and she liked to play backgammon, would you never play it again? Would you brush up on it and become the best backgammon player you could be?

Just curious what the concensus would be...........

Main / Re: Discussion Topic: The Benefits of Crying (Part 1)
« on: August 27, 2007, 04:45:57 PM »
Patty - my grandmother passed away from brain cancer (as well as cancer in other places as well) and you are right, it is horrible to see someone you love like that.

Child Loss / Re: Serious Subject
« on: August 27, 2007, 06:27:58 AM »
Oh Marianne, I loved reading your story about Alek.

Main / Re: Discussion Topic: The Benefits of Crying (Part 1)
« on: August 27, 2007, 06:23:10 AM »
I do not cry much at all. When my brother died, yes, I cried. But after everything was over (funeral, etc) I didnt cry much and still dont. I am not a crier - I dont cry at movies, books, TV, cards, commercials, anything like that. I do feel emotional but not thru the shedding of tears.

When I see others cry I feel for them and of course, want to comfort them.

Really the only time I cry is when it has something to do with my daughter.

Child Loss / Re: Owen, our beloved mystery man
« on: August 26, 2007, 02:17:20 PM »
I'm here Owen's Mom. Your story is captivating and heartbreaking. I'm still reading and wishing you peace and the answers you so desire.

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