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Topics - Autumn Leaves

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Recommended Grief Books / Widow to Widow
« on: August 07, 2007, 08:09:22 PM »

Widow to Widow Thoughtful, Practical Ideas for Rebuilding Your Life

I'm reading "Widow to Widow Thoughtful, Practical Ideas for Rebuilding Your LIfe" by Genevieve Davis Ginsburg. The author talks about dealing with big issues and small details, how to deal with things from eating alone to surviving holidays and anniversaries. Testimonies from other widows are included in the book.

Recommended Grief Books / Children - Bereavement
« on: August 07, 2007, 08:06:49 PM »

Freddie the Leaf

I read "The Fall of Freddie the Leaf A Story of Life for All Ages" by Leo Buscaglia. It's a story about the life cycle of leaves, one named Freddie. It talks about life and growing and the process of death. It was sad but I loved it.

From the jacket:

"This story by Leo Buscaglia is a warm, wonderfully wise, an dstrikingly simple story about a leaf named Freddie.
"How Freddie and his companion leaves change with the passing seasons, finally falling to the ground with winter's snow, is an inspiring allegory illustrating the delicate balance between life and death.
"Both children and adults will be deeply touched by this inspiring, thought-provoking treatment of so sensitive a facet of true life."

Main / Milestones
« on: July 24, 2007, 09:18:03 PM »
Today would have been my late husband's and my 36th wedding anniversary. I was feeling a bit sad this morning but a friend called and invited me to dinner. I went swimming and then left the house and went to WalMart and Staples and the library. I survived the day. Next year will be easier. I guess these special dates get easier to handle with time so we'll see how it goes.

Main / Legacy
« on: July 08, 2007, 10:37:23 PM »
I read this in a book by Maya Angelou.

"When I sense myself filling with rage at the absence of a beloved, I try to remember that my concerns and questions, my efforts and answers should be focused on what I did or can learn from my departed love. What legacy was left which can help me in the art of having a good life?"

It made me think about what I could do to carry on the memory of my husband. I thought I could create a small scholarship for people interested in studying music, especially guitar, because that was a marjor part of my husband's life. I could donate money to the Friends of the Library (even though he wasn't much of a reader) and specify for the children's library because he did love children and so desired to have and hold a grandchild. I'm still thinking but it's something I hadn't really thought about before. I want to do something so his memory, his spirit, continues and is shared by others and is passed on to others. I don't have a lot of money so it would have to be something small but there's things I could do.

I was wondering what others had done or thought about doing to continue the legacy of their beloved? One thing we are doing is continuing to live and move onward with our lives because that's something our spouses or parents or siblings or children would want us to do. They wouldn't want us to stop living just because they were no longer with us except in spirit. They'd want us to remember them but to go on living and enjoy life and be happy again. That's what I believe my husband - and mother and grandparents would want me to do.

Main / Internet Letter
« on: July 02, 2007, 08:51:50 PM »
My Dad sent me this. I loved it and thought I'd pass it on so others could enjoy it as well.

  Our dog, Abbey, died August 23, and the day after Abbey died, my 4 year old, Meredith, was SO upset. She wanted to write a letter to God so that He would recognize Abbey in heaven. She told me what to write, and I did.
Then she put 2 pictures of Abbey in the envelope. We addressed it to God in Heaven, put two stamps on it because, as she said, it could be a long way to heaven. We put our return address on it, and I let her put it in the drop box at the post office that afternoon. She was absolutely sure that letter would get to heaven, and I wasn't about to disillusion her.
So today is Labor Day. We took the kids to the museum in Austin, and when we came home, there was a package wrapped in gold on our front porch. It was addressed to Meredith. So... she took it inside and opened it. Inside was a book, "When Your Pet Dies" by Mr. Rogers (Fred Rogers).
Inside the front cover was the letter we had written to God, in its opened envelope. On the opposite page was one of the pictures of Abbey taped on the page. On the back page was the other picture of Abbey, and this handwritten note on pink paper:
'Dear Meredith, I know that you will be happy to find out that Abbey arrived safely and soundly in heaven. Having the pictures you sent to me was a big help! I recognized Abbey right away! You know, Meredith, she isn't sick anymore. Her spirit is here with me, just like it stays in your heart... young and running and playing. Abbey loved being your dog, you know.
Since we don't need our bodies in heaven, I don't have any pockets to keep things in. So... I am sending you your beautiful letter back with  the pictures so that you will have this little memory book to keep. One of my angels is taking care of this for me.  I hope this little book will help.   
Thank you for your beautiful letter. Thank your mother for sending it. What a wonderful mother you have. I picked her especially for you.'
Signed, God
This is a true story.   I love that we have angels among us, some of them even work at the Post Office!

Main / Mind lapse
« on: June 29, 2007, 10:09:09 PM »
I went to the bank yesterday, got out of my truck, locked the door, and wondered why the engine was still running. I realized i'd just locked myself out. First thing that came to my mind was calling my hubby and asking him to drive out with the spare key so he could unlock the door. Then I realized he'd been gone just about exactly eight months (eight months this morning) and I started crying.

I was so angry with myself because I'd NEVER locked myself out of his truck (he'd done it several times). AAA never came and the locksmith that eventually came cost me $150 (at least the ATM was right next to my truck). I didn't have anyone to call and i didn't want to call a cab and leave the truck running for the 40 minutes it would take me to go home, get my spare key, and get back to the bank. There was no one at home to call to come help me.

After I got my truck unlocked, I drove over to Home Depot and had a spare key made. It isn't coded so I can't use it to start the truck but at least I will never lock myself out of my truck again.

I don't know what I was thinking either because I've never got out of the truck with it still running.

Main / Bereavement Groups
« on: June 15, 2007, 02:19:16 PM »
Has anyone gone through hospice or VNA or any local bereavement support groups? There are a couple in my area but I've lost the information and I was wondering if anyone had gone through a support group and, if so, what you got out of it.
I spent an hour talking to a woman at the gym who's husband had died a few months before mine in basically similar circumstances (diabetic with complications) except he'd died at home. It was interesting talking to her but I think it would be rather intense talking with a group of people and people would be at different stages of their grief.

Main / Strange happenings
« on: May 19, 2007, 10:20:16 AM »
About a week after my husband died, I was working in the kitchen late in the evening when I heard my husband's voice from the bedroom down the hall call for me. I heard my name as clear as ever. He'd been bedridden for almost a year before he died and he often called me (before his voice became so weak and I gave him a whistle and bell) when he needed something. It's never happened again. It was really spooky.

 I talked to mybrother-in-law and he said something similar happened to him shortly after his mother died. He was living in her house, sleeping upstairs in her old bedroom when he heard dishes hitting the floor and breaking. He ran downstairs but didn't see a thing. It happened three more times and it's never happened again.

I sometimes get a wiff of his aftershave when I'm walking around the house and I know there aren't any bottles of the stuff left in the house.

Has anyone else experienced this? It makes me think the stories about angels and the spirits of our loved ones droping by to see how we're doing.

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