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Topics - Jparks

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Sibling Loss / May 23 was 2 years
« on: June 05, 2008, 11:52:41 AM »
2 years since my baby brother died. I have to say I have adjusted quite well. Lost my lover in September of 2007 as well. Considering all of this, I feel fairly at peace with the world. I have noticed I am far more patient with people and learn to laugh at things that used to really make me mad. I don't know why, but the last few months haven't been bad at all. I get my sad days of course, but the good days have been.....well really good. I hope this isn't a small phase. I want to hold on to this feeling. It all seems to boil down to appreciation for life, because it doesn't last forever. Now I am not saying I am Mr. Perfect and I brandish my sword at adversary with a laugh like a swashbuckler, but I just feel peaceful. This site is wonderful and I am so proud to be a part of this community. It is sad that we all have become members of it, but if you have to deal with bereavement, then this is the place to be.

Main / Gone a while
« on: March 13, 2008, 07:12:19 PM »
It has been some time since I have grieved in any way over the loss of my brother or my ex-g/f. Both of them were loved very deeply by me and I have filled in the void with work and other things. I was rearranging my bedroom and came across pictures of them both that spurred me to come back here. I just want to again say thank you so much for being here. I cannot begin to say how much this site has kept me sane and feeling normal through an abnormal situation. I have not had close contact with any of you, nor do I know any of you on a close, personal level. I feel like in some ways I do though and wish I would strike it rich and take everyone here on a cruise. Anyway, God bless you all and take care of yourselves.

Sibling Loss / Almost a year
« on: March 10, 2007, 03:40:49 PM »
My little brother passed away at the age of 20 on May 23rd of 2006. I am a strong person and have always dealt with death in a healthy way. This time though, I am falling apart almost a year later. Ive lashed out at everyone around me and dont really care if I live or die half of the time. I cant talk to anyone, because noone can relate or understand. My family is no help, because they are all in their grieving still. I feel like he just died. I came here because out of nowhere I hit the ground crying about an hour ago and it wont stop. Maybe I held it in too long. I feel miserable and my faith in God is shearing away. I am beginning to feel like maybe there is no God. Its bad enough to be sad, but to lose your faith in your god or any god whatsoever seems bad. My brother was mentally handicapped and a beautiful human. No hate, no anger, just love and appreciation for everything my family did for him. How can a sinless person go through months of pain and die like that? I didnt think God did those things, but here I am almost a year later with my loving, perfect brother gone. I needed to vent somewhere. Thank you for having this site available to do that.

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