Show Posts

This section allows you to view all posts made by this member. Note that you can only see posts made in areas you currently have access to.

Topics - ~Dee

Pages: [1]
Child Loss / Losing it in public - Private Practice episode
« on: September 29, 2007, 09:22:16 AM »
I needed to comment on this because it was so powerful.  The new series "Private Practice" had a storyline in it's first episode about a woman who had "lost it" in a department store, and, was down on her hands and knees counting the tiles on the floor.  On the surface, to most people, it appeared that she was mentally ill.  As the storyline unfolded, it was revealed that she had lost her son, and, a display of tents and camping gear, that included a monitor set up with a video of a family having fun at a lake is what triggered this woman to lose it in the store.  When the doctors were able to get through to her, and she let it all out, it was gut-wrenching. My husband and I both sat there in tears.

One of my biggest fears is losing it in public.  Different situations have triggered reactions many, many times, and I am able to pull it together long enough to move away from people, but it is just so hard to hold it all in and try to appear "normal".  I have developed many coping mechanisms that allow me to do that, but, deep down, I don't feel that it is healthy to keep holding it all in, and worry about losing control in public.  The counting of tiles struck a chord with me, and I was reminded of something similar that I do that I borrowed from an old Star Trek episode, where Mr. Spock loses control of his emotions, and starts counting, "2, 4, 6, 8", and moves on to mathmetical equations to help him regain control.  It works for me.

Does this fear of losing it in public ever go away? How do you all deal with the totally unexpected triggers that bring you to tears and more?

Child Loss / 10 years yesterday - Empty
« on: June 28, 2007, 05:36:31 AM »
I don't know what I expected, but it certainly wasn't this.  Yesterday was just so empty.  I can't believe that our daughter, Mel, has been gone 10 years.  That would be half of her life.  We have gone on half the length of her life without her.

Each anniversary has been different, some with a lot of tears and anger, some with a lot of reflection and  memories, but always a sad day.  I've always been especially angry at God for taking her on our wedding anniversary.  My interpretation of that was a that it was a slap in the face to our love that created her. (We've never been particularly religious). I don't think that feeling will ever change.

Yesterday, I could not be angry, sad, depressed, miserable, or even cry.  I was just empty.  It has continued this morning, as if all of my emotions are just gone. 

Again, it feels like life is just going through the motions until it's over.........not good, not bad, just an empty life.

Pages: [1]