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Topics - Musunga

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Parent Loss / Mom gone 18 but still grieving
« on: May 29, 2016, 09:42:36 AM »
Hello,
I am 40yrs old and i lost my mum to cancer 18yrs ago. I was 22yrs then and it was 2weeks before my wedding.  My parents were never married, I was the only child my mother had and was raised by my maternal family.  My 1st marriage failed and so is my current 2nd one.  My father and my maternal family are always there for me but some how I don't feel I belong and the longing for my mum grows with every passing year.  I fail to talk to any on about it but find myself weeping for her most nights and its worse lately. After reading some books on grieving, it seems I may be stuck in one of the stages of grieving.  I've been for counselling but they say I should try to let go... deep within I don't want to let go because I feel she is all I had/have.  Does it get any better, does it get easier?  So often I just want to be alone, I actually want to disappear from everyone I know - family and all.  With them around I am forced to wear a brave face because i feel they won't understand how up to now I can still be grieving beacause i dont understand it myself.   
How does one learn to live with such emotions and still be happy?

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