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Topics - adele

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Child Loss / New TV show -Resurrection
« on: March 11, 2014, 03:50:24 AM »
Did anyone watch Resurrection? I didn't. I wasn't sure I could handle it emotionally.

Child Loss / Thomas' angel date
« on: January 25, 2014, 07:27:30 PM »
For the last 4 days I have been thinking 14 years ago this was happening..and then Thomas who had just turned 4 took his last breath in the hospital bed in Chapel Hill. That happened 14 years ago at 7:45 pm. Now I am alone . This arctic freeze that has gripped our area makes me feel so alone and sad.

Thomas at least you are not in pain and well in heaven. Love you dear boy.

Adele - Thomas' Mom Forever Four (1/5/96-1/26/00)

Child Loss / 18th birthday in heaven
« on: January 04, 2014, 07:06:07 PM »
Dear Thomas:

Tomorrow you will be celebrating your 18th birthday in heaven. You would be sad here on earth. your family is all broken up. Love you sweet happy child.


Thomas- 1/5/96-1/26/00

Child Loss / Thomas' angel day
« on: January 26, 2012, 10:33:52 AM »
It has been 12 years since I held my baby Thomas in my arms.  He died 1/26/00 at 7:43pm at the end of a whiteout snowstorm.  All the family (husband, remaining son, father(died in '07) I had are gone or not talking to me.  I won't act on it but I wish I was in heaven where my loved ones are.

Adele-Mother to Thomas(1/5/96-1/26/00)

It has been a long time since I have posted. In 6 days my youngest child, Thomas died from a failed bone marrow transplant on Jan. 26, 2000. In six days if Thomas had lived he would have been 16. This year is extremely painful because of various reasons in my life: divorce, been in psych ward twice this past year and my remaining son who is two years older won't have anything to do with me because of my mental problems.

I hate to discourage anyone who is just started their journey but I am all alone literally. I can't get any help because I am on disability and have no health insurance. Sometimes I wish I was a drunk so I could stop the pictures of my child dying in his hospital bed and the pain I feel now from his older son who literally refuses to talk to me.

I am trying not to make this about myself but I can't believe Thomas would be 16. His brother is turning 18 in July and I have missed his birthdays.

I had hoped things would get better by now but life just gets worst.-Adele- Thomas's Mom(1/5/96-1/26/00

January 26, 2000 is the day my 9-11 occured at 7:45pm. That is the time my baby who was only 4 breathed his last breath. A month earlier I lost my mother who I could not take time to grieve because we were gearing up to a bone marrow transplant for  my son.

Fast forward 10 years- I am divorced because my ex was tired of having a dark cloud always over his wife. Fighting for custody of my remaining 15 year old son. The person I thought would love me til our dying day is now my worst enemy along with his girlfriend.

I have had counseling for years...EMDR therapy helped with my PTSD and I am having to work through the grief of losing a relationship and soon facing my 50th birthday. 10 years ago I buried my mother and my child before I turned 40.

The fact that life is not fair is so true. I was able to recover well enough to land a good job in the field that I went to school in for 6 years which I am grateful. Over the past week I have listened to the news station and listening to the tragedy in Haiti. My heart goes out to the Haiti victims. I may see if there is a way to ad)opt a Haiti child in the future.

Life is different and I must process the changes and work through the apin just as I had to with the grief of losing Thomas. It takes a lot of time and great work.

Adele- mom to Thomas(1/5/96-1/26/00)


Child Loss / My baby's birthday anniversary is tomorrow
« on: January 04, 2009, 06:51:54 PM »
My baby Thomas' birthday anniversary is tomorrow. He would have been 13.

Life has changed drastically. For a good part of the week, I now live alone. His dad asked for a divorce. My  older son has challenges of his own and he lives during the school year with his dad.

Today Robert and I made cupcakes and small bread loaf cake in memory of Thomas.

Thomas(1/5/96-1/26/00) Forever Four

Losses- Lost my youngest before I turned 40 to a failed bone marrow forward 8 years lost my marriage. Now I am separated coming up on the time for filing for divorce( husband wanted it). 

Went out with some married girlfriends and felt so alone when they were talking about their husbands...I guess tonight is the last get together with them. 8 years ago people were uncomfortable being around me because I reminded them unhappy things happy and now I can't be around old girlfriends because they remind me how lonely I feel. This life is awful.  >:(

Thomas' Mom(Forever four)

Child Loss / Thomas' day where he entered the heavenly gates
« on: January 26, 2008, 06:34:35 AM »
Seven years ago, Thomas went to heaven at 7:40PM. The last day I got to hold him. Family is now broken pieces. I am going to be with a friend this morning but alone this evening. Remaining son will be on a ski trip with his dad.

Forever Four - Thomas(1-5-96  - 1-26-00)

His mom, Adele

Child Loss / Login question/problem
« on: January 19, 2008, 05:02:06 PM »
I find that I have to enter my name and login password twice before it is accepted. The first time it comes up a huge capital letters - FORBIDDEN.


Child Loss / Snow season
« on: January 18, 2008, 08:56:14 PM »
I live in a part of the country that  closes up shop when it snows. My baby Thomas was born on the heals of a major snowstorm and he died after a major snowstorm. Now tonight we are suppose to get some. The weather people are calling for first cold rain then changeing to snow and 2 to 4 inches of snow. How I wish I could move some where else like Costa Rica where no more snow would fall. This storm is suppose to be a 14 hour event. Part of the time I will have to try to get to work and thenget back to my lonely apt. and then "experience" being alone for the first time during snow. Oh, how I hate this....

I miss my baby, Thomas and the life we had then.

Adele - Mom to Thomas (Forever Four  1996-2000)

Child Loss / Happy Birthday, Thomas
« on: January 04, 2008, 08:35:11 PM »
My baby's birthday is tomorrow- If he had lived through his bone marrow transplant, he would be 12. I failed him by not keeping the germs away from him. He got an infection and his body was already depleted. Now, I must face his birthday absolutely alone since marriage failed too. Life is cruel

Adele- Mom to Thomas(Forever Four 1-05-96 - 1- 16 - 00)

Child Loss / This is going to be the worst Christmas
« on: December 22, 2007, 03:46:43 PM »
Beginning next month Thomas, my baby will have been gone 8 years. I am experiencing also the death of my marriage at my husband's request. I have to have some Christmas for my remaining son but I feel like locking myself up in the mental hospital for the next seven weeks. My father also died last month.


Child Loss / A Poll- If one is interested
« on: September 19, 2007, 05:48:15 PM »
I have been wondering  since I am now currently separated from father of my baby, Thomas(Forever Four), how many of us are still with our original spouse and parent of our angel child or significant other?

We both changed so much that we are just not the same people we were even in our early parenthood days. I fought for everything and have lost it all.

Child Loss / Another statistic another failed marriage
« on: April 01, 2007, 05:36:04 PM »
Will be going into the statistics graph as another failed marriage after a death of a child.

Wonder how I will survive

Adele-Mom to Thomas(Forever Four 96-00)

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