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Topics - lostintears

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Main / help need to talk asap
« on: May 25, 2009, 12:16:11 PM »
lost my father in what i belive was a cocaine induced heartattack he was only 46 yrs. old this was in 2000 when i was 14 yrs. old that man was my life even though he drank and did drugs his family always had what we needed he cooked us 3 kids dinner and then sat down and help us with our homework everyday before we had our baths and he tucks us in for the night he taught me how to work hard everyday to support the family along with my mother  on september 30 2008 i took my mother to the emergency room i felt it was just another visit she would be home in a couple days cause she has been in out of the hospital left and right for 4 yrs now herhealth was real bad now she couldn't remember anything and she could hardly see she was not even able t make it to the bathroom i was made having to take care of her as an infant and having to be a single mother of a three yr. old on my own cause her father waS in jail at the time now i feel that the guilt inside is making my sick in the mind when i was 12 yrs. old i was told im bipolar right now i dont know what to do and have nobody to talk to i moved to a new town and have yet to find a doctor and even if i do will i feel im able to talk to him/her my whole life has been sadness and grief now i want to be happy but im stuck in the past and cant help but want to die everyday i hope asap will brind me some help cause i need some im hurting and just wanna die ineed to talk 

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