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Topics - Lady Tea

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Child Loss / Poem for David.
« on: April 24, 2009, 12:55:10 PM »
 By Theresa Bennett-Ruggles

I still feel your last hug
our last "I love you" said.

Folded clothes are put away
in a box beneath my bed.

I cannot bear to erase
your number from my cell

Memorized your laugh
replaying your last email.

I don't want the photos to fade
nor tear

I want to run my hands
in your beard and hair

To say Goodbye
everyday till we meet again

feels so lonely
like you've died again.

It's by Grace
His Peace that holds me near

There is a lake
made from my every tear.

So much I want to say
show you how much I care

But I rock alone
alone in my rocking chair

Child Loss / Dominos
« on: April 21, 2009, 08:23:47 AM »
I buried my oldest son David the first week of January. He died December 29, 2008. My brother and his wife came to Nashville for the funeral. My sister-in-law fell the day of the funeral ...she broke her hip. They both stayed with me as she healed ...that took till April 4th. 2 weeks after my son's burial, a police officer came to the house with papers. My ex husband (who was being sued by the state for back child support)decided to sue me. I  had to have a biopsy of my cervix and uterus...then wait for the results. My youngest son started smoking (I don't smoke). My second son revealed that he not only had a girlfriend but they were living together.

I have a sense of humor...I am waiting for the Locust.

I keep a card with David's voice from last Mother's Day "Love you Mother". I play it over and over. I have all of his last text messages saved in my phone. I wanted to do more. Remember him ...So with help we set up a Scholarship in his name. This Scholarship will send kids from poorer families to summer camp. I've involved myself with other boys who need "mothering". I have family time with my other 2 sons. I have Ben my 16 year old in therapy ...and we're dealing with the ciggerette issue. I love my middle son Jonathan's girlfriend. They are being responsible so I'm trying not to be so old-fashioned.

David had just turned 20. He had graduated from Wyotech in Laramie, Wyoming. He was on his way to his new job in Jackson, MS. He didn't stop to rest after being awake for almost 3 days. He fell asleep at the wheel and hit a tree. There were no skid marks, he died instantly.  We had spoken on the phone the day before ...all our "I love yous" were said. He was a Christian and served God.

Life goes on here...and there is Joy in the knowledge that he will be with me in eternity. But when all is quiet and I am alone I rock ...I cry and I yearn.

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