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Topics - Angelmommy

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Child Loss / Happy Birthday Kammie!
« on: April 26, 2012, 06:19:27 PM »
Hi All..

Well this is a hard post for me to write,,you see this time 20 years ago I was in hard labor... my first pregnancy.. finally I would soon have my baby in my arms.. if only it wasn't taking so long.. the pain.. unbearable.. me freaking out from the drugs they gave me to induce the labor..i was so scared that the doctors had to stop the drip and attempt to slow down my didn't help that there had been 4 women in and out of the delivery room across the hall from me...and i had sat through their entire deliveries.. their screams of pain as they bore their children...only to emerge smiling with their little bundles of joy held tightly withing their arms... it would all be worth it.. i was sure of that...a few hours from now i would have been talking to my Aunt Marie who had called to check on things and to wish me luck..."hopefully it will be soon Auntie. the nurse said i am 3 and a half cm dilated now.." ,,,then at 12:55 am i would finally cross the hall to begin the last leg of my journey... 18 minutes and 3 excruciating pushes later... i held my little girl in my arms.. " Welcome to the world Kamilliah Brittany May Keller! weighing in at 6 pounds 10 ounces and 22" long.. 

So for the next 19 years April 27th would hold so much meaning for us as we celebrated your birthday! Your 1st Birthday.. as you ran amuck with your smash cake,,,head to toe chocolate..your 5th birthday when we attempted bowling for the first time and you fell down in the gutter.. your 8th birthday when we had your very own carnival in the yard and every kid in the neighborhood showed up.... your Uggie Alex barbequing all 144 hotdogs..just to make sure there was not one person going away hungry..your Sweet 16...then your 19th birthday meant celebrating as an adult .. how excited you were...and quite drunk I must say.. This year though.. we celebrate it for you as  you spend your first birthday in heaven! Please know that as you watch down over your friends and family that have gathered together to honor you that each and everyone of us would much rather have you there.. celebrating your 20th birthday with us.. We miss you so much baby girl..

Dominic and Gabriel have missed you so much and are hoping you can catch the balloons they are sending you for your birthday Mama! We love you so very much! Happy Birthday Mommy! I Love You!,  from Dominic

Love always, Mom & Dad, your little men Dominic and Gabriel and your little brother Zack

Child Loss / Kammie's Story
« on: February 13, 2012, 09:48:37 PM »
Well,,, where to begin.... i guess it all started on June 2, 2011... it's 7:00 am and i am barely awake.. but there are tears streaming down my face, my heart was racing like a had run a marathon, and I felt as if someone had ripped a hole in soul.. you see the reason for this is because i had just woken from the worst nightmare i had ever had in my life.. no there were no monsters, or vampires or even snakes.. this was much worse.. you see i had dreamed that my daughter Kamilliah had been murdered.. much to my relief when the phone rang at 9 it was her on the other end.. assuring me that she was okay and everything was fine,, and yes I would find out myself on Saturday at my sisters Jack & Jill.. so my soul at peace that everything was right in the world we hung up the phone.. not knowing that this would be the very last time that I would hear her voice telling me she loved me. Well Saturday came and went without Kammie there,, evdently her ride fell through and she couldnt make it. I had a couple of days of work so decided to spend the time with my boyfriend Terry at our trailer park.. soaking up the beautiful June weather.. and since i didnt have to be back at work until Wednesday i , stayed at the trailer another night.. enjoying the sun, a cruise around the lake, campfire and a few beer with some friends.. the perfect spring day.. then at 11:00 pm on June 7 my world came to a crashing halt. Terry's phone rang,, it was his daughter Bree,, saying that we needed to get hold of my sister because it was all over facebook that something had happened to Kammie.. I ran into the trailer grabbed my purse and my cellphone and called my sister..who was freaking out hysterically saying that Kammie had been stabbed. Terry helped me into the truck and we went tearing out of the park on our way to Tweed which fortunately was only 20 minutes away.  Driving at breakneck speeds i was vaguely aware of my surroundings as we pulled into the small town. As we rounded the corner it was like we had driven onto a bad movie scene.. I saw her building surrounded by police cars with flashing lights, yellow caution tape strung across the entrance as we screeched to a halt. We jumped out of the truck and were immediately stopped by police..and then my nightmare became my reality.. my beautiful Kammie lay on her little boy's bedroom floor.. stabbed to death by her boyfriend. And he was in the hospital with 2 gunshot wounds sustained in an altercation with the police. I was whisked away to a local motel to begin my grieving while i awaited the arrival of my 2 little grandson's.. and my family to comfort me.  Her boyfriend has since been charged with  1 count of first degree murder, and 2 counts of attempted murder of a peace officer. It has been 8 months now since she was taken away from me and now after sharing some of her story I am feeling quite drained.. I will continue when I can.. RIP my darling Angelgirl I Love You and Miss You terribly. Kamilliah Brittany May Keller April 27, 1992 to June 7, 2011

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