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Topics - KatEngland

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Child Loss / Almost 4 Years
« on: February 27, 2013, 08:31:35 AM »
Almost 4  Years since our little angel left this world. We miss him and speak of him often. I never want to forget the joy that little miracle brought for 2 days. It is strange that as time passes, pain dulls, but can sometimes arise like a hot dagger to the heart. I love his little brother so much, while mourning a little boy who would have been 4. Sorely missed, dearly loved. Ian Alexander Narbatovics

Child Loss / Been 3 years
« on: May 31, 2012, 02:18:26 PM »
Oh lordy but I miss Lil Nipper yet. Liam is one almost. A delight, and absolute joy. I love him with all my heart! What a blessing he is. I still ache for Ian, for what should have been, for the pain I continue to see my daughter go through...for each year ticked off that I realize all we continue to miss with our angel gone. I love you Ian Alexander Narbatovics....and you remain in my heart every single day. You make me a better person, and I cannot wait to finally see you in heraven. Love, grandma.

Child Loss / Ian
« on: January 15, 2012, 09:07:49 PM »
Liam, Ian's little brother, is now 7 months old. He is adorable and we love him to pieces. What a joy he is. Yet....there is still this ache..this spot in my soul that just does not ever heal. I miss my first grandson..what he would have looked like...he would be almost 3. Life is so full of wonderful things..but I miss babyboo.

Child Loss / New Grandson.
« on: June 29, 2011, 08:50:34 AM »
Misty, Ian's mom, gave birth to a beautiful little boy June 9. Liam is doing extremely well as is his mom. It was so wonderful and yet sad to hold Liam and see what we missed when ian died. When I went to Misty's house later that evening I took out the box of Ian's things taht are up there and went through them, smiling and crying. Grateful for a healthy new baby, and sad for the big brother that is not here. I am so happy to see my daughter with a smile on her face. Life is beautiful. I miss you Ian, and will never, ever forget you.

Child Loss / Liam/Ian's little brother
« on: June 02, 2011, 06:24:02 AM »
Hey all..been awhile. Moved to Savannah from Chicago and it's been a very busy time. Ian is having a little brother. Liam is scheduled to be born June 9. Unlike our beloved Ian, this pregnancy has been completely normal. What a blessing. I am so grateful and excited..yet at the same time miss my angelboy. Blessings to all.

Child Loss / Am I that Bad?
« on: January 24, 2011, 12:39:37 PM »
I am very happy about my daughter having another child after the horrific loss of Ian. BUT..I am finding it extremely hard to be able to want to know much about this child before he/she is born. We saw all those ultrasound pics of Ian..and were so excited, then he died. I do not want to bond with this child for fear this happens again. I say the right things, and I I try to be optimistic, but I admit..I am afraid.

Child Loss / Christmas without Ian
« on: December 15, 2010, 10:19:13 PM »
I look at my lovely daughter who is now starting to show with her second child, and I am so happy, and yet, I am sad. I still miss Ian. I still miss what we should have had with him, his face when he saw the first Christmas tree, excitement at tearing open gifts with little hands and liking the paper better..ache for the missed hugs and kisses that we never had a chance to have with him. This new baby will never replace Ian, and I do not expect him or her to have to be a replacement. I just...miss Ian right now. So much. I love you Little Nipper, more than anything. You are my heart and soul and not a day goes by that i do not miss you firecely.

Child Loss / New Baby Coming.
« on: November 20, 2010, 11:55:33 AM » has happened. Ian's mommy is expecting a new baby on my husband's birthday. We are absolutely thrilled. It is strange..because of the prematrue loss of Ian, I am finding it hard to have faith that this child we be ok. I am finding myself holding back until after 7 months. Is that weird? We are so excited...but...afraid.

Child Loss / New Start
« on: July 01, 2010, 09:57:07 AM »
We have moved from Chicago to Savannah. It is absolutely gorgeous here. My husband finally got the dream job he has been seeking forever. He is very happy now, and I am thrilled for his happiness. I kind of feel out of sorts a tad, as I am seeking employment and miss those I love,,BUT..I love it here. It is a wonderful place to heal in. I think of our Ian so often, how he would love it here. I know he is free of pain. I know we will meet again. His mom and dad are now trying again for a little brother or sister for Ian. I am glad that they are moving towards a new beginning with another baby. I am just kind of lonely right now...but, that too shall pass.:)

Child Loss / Hard.
« on: April 03, 2010, 08:30:58 PM »
It is hard to move on. Sp many positive changes. A new granddaughter. Things..but...I guess..I do NOT want to forget Ian. I do not want to put him aside. Sigh. He is my angel. No grandchild alive, I fear, will never measure up to Ian. Gads. I love him so. How do I move on and NOT forget my sweetie?

Child Loss / You All are Amazing
« on: March 20, 2010, 10:28:43 PM »
I want to thank each and every person on this board for being so wonderful. So many people that are hurting, and yet find it in their hearts to offer comforting words to toehrs in apin. when Ian first died, i could barely breathe, and all these people that never met me with all those kind all will never know what that support meant to me. I hope that each and every one of you finds some meausre of peace...and thank you all for being so wonderful.

Child Loss / I Miss Him So.
« on: March 20, 2010, 10:22:06 PM »
It has now been over a year since Ian left us. a grandson that only lived for 3 days, but made such a stunning impact on my life. although shattered by the loss of him, so much good has happened because of him. I have become a more tolerant person now. Things that used to anger me, not so much. I try to be more patient with everything and everyone. I try to help others more often and to be less judgemental. I want my grandson to be proud of me, but even more I want to be proud of me. I think of him every often. I still shed tears, and I also smile. Precious, sweet, wonderful baby boy. He would be walking now..and saying simple words. I imagine what he would look he would be. But I will know someday..just not now. also he has a heck of a job looking over Adrianna. What a wonderful thing. I miss you Little Nipper. The pain will never go away, but the goodness you left behind only grows.

Child Loss / A New Baby
« on: March 03, 2010, 05:17:14 PM »
My granddaughter was born today. That in itself is amazingly wonderful. The strange part is that she was born on Ian's birthday. My grandson that died. A one in 365 chance, and it happened. Her name is Adrianna. Ian's name is in her name. It is not the daughter that lost Ian. This is so weird......happy..and sad.

Child Loss / It's Been 9 Months Now.
« on: December 14, 2009, 10:57:57 PM »
Nine months without Little Nipper. We are Sllllllllllllllllloooowwwwlllllyyy all starting to heal over him being gone. I wonder all the time what he would be like. Who he would look like. His mother, my daughter is doing well. She finally found a job that she likes. She and her husband are starting to think about trying for another. I can admit it here..anonymous and safe..I am terrified of that moment. I do not think that we could handle if she were to lose another child. Especially me. Oh Ian...I miss you..and I know with all my heart, precious little man, that I will see you again. I love you, angel boy.

Child Loss / Ian has Company Now
« on: August 29, 2009, 07:42:22 PM »
My father passed away this evening. He was suffering so it is good that he is now with Ian..but darn it, it still hurts. i loved him so. Take good care of grandpa, Ian, and show him the ropes, ok Peanut?

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