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Topics - futbllwmn

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Main / almost 2 years... so sad
« on: April 01, 2010, 01:45:10 AM »
If I could have one lifetime wish, a dream that could come true, I would wish with all my heart for yesterday and you.

I miss you everyday my Ronnie.  I wait here for the day I will see you again.


Main / 14+ months
« on: August 14, 2009, 11:43:01 PM »
I am just going into my second year, I lost my husband 6.3.08, and this has been much more difficult than the first year.  I think the first year I was in such shock (he was only 56), disbelief, denial, anger, making deals with God... just waiting to wake up from this horrible nightmare.  Now I know I will never see Ron in this life.  I still work but other than that I isolate myself from most everyone.  I just can't stand to pretend that everything is getting back to "normal".  Everyone's life has moved on and mine ended that horrible day. I would rather be with my dogs, in the home that I shared with my husband, than anywhere else.  I have been told that this is not good for me but this is the way I want it to be.  The one thing I have learned from this is that I do what I want, when I want and I really don't care what anyone else thinks. I have always been told that things will get better, easier but it hasn't for me.   I have just learned to control my emotions, put on that fake smile and deal with it until I can run home.  I just can't imagine spending the rest of my life like this.  This was not how it suspossed to be for us.  I can't get past it.  I miss him so much. 

Wishing some peace for us all.

Main / My heart wants......
« on: January 24, 2009, 12:02:19 AM »
My heart wants what my mind knows I can't have.. I want my husband back.  Not a day goes by that I don't walk down the hall.. come around the corner and pray to hear the garage door open and see my Ronnie come through the door.  It has been almost 8 months and it has not gotten "easier" or "better" for me.  One year before Ron died I was in the hospital for almost 3 weeks...6 days in ICU.. and I fought so hard to live.. so hard.  I wish I would have died.  I am so mad at God for letting me live.  The mornings are the hardest for me.  Every night before I go to sleep I beg Ron to come and get me.  And in the morning I wake up knowing I have to face another horrible, lonely day without Ron.  I hate it.  I don't want to be here anymore.  Ron was my life and now he's gone.  I can't wait for the day I will see him again.  As always, I pray for all of us here taking this horrible journey.

Main / My favorite song...
« on: January 11, 2009, 10:39:11 PM »
I Will Remember You
By Amy Grant

It makes me cry every time I hear it.......I love and miss you so much Ronnie.

I will be walking one day
Down a street far away
And see a face in the crowd and smile
Knowing how you made me laugh
Hearing sweet echoes of you from the past
I will remember you.

Look in my eyes while youre near
Tell me whats happening here
See that I dont want to say good-bye
Our love is frozen in time
Ill be your champion and youll be mine
I will remember
I will remember you.

Later on
When this fire is an ember
Later on
When the nights not so tender
Given time
Though its hard to remember darlin
I will be holding
Ill still be holding to you
I will remember you.

So many years come and gone
And yet the memory is strong
One word we never could learn
True love is frozen in time
Ill be your champion and youll be mine
I will remember you
So please remember
I will remember you
I will remember you
I will remember you
I will remember you.

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