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Topics - shhh65

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Main / Confidence...where did it go?
« on: January 02, 2009, 04:22:31 PM »
I've just passed the 1 year mark of finding my husband dead in our back yard. I guess I need to keep repeating that circumstance until I gain complete acceptance. Since he had been to the doctor just 11 days before he died and received great reports and was about to retire the first of last year it still seems unreal. He was here one minute and gone the next. No goodbye, no nothing.  I went back to work 2 weeks after he died but worked only until April 1st and then took early retirement. I've given away the van I was driving, and sold one of his trucks. I'm driving the truck that we used to pull our camper and boat until I can make a decision about what to do with them. They are constant reminders of the things we planned to do in our retirement but everything I change seems to cause me a set back. The letting go is horrific. It's not the thing it is what it represented to us. There is no us anymore after 42 years and 7 months of marriage. Every decision has to be made by me and I have lost my confidence. God help me!!

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Main / Music sometimes says it all!
« on: January 01, 2009, 12:10:12 PM »
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