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Topics - roseygirl61

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Spouse, Partner Loss / Stopped by to say Hi!
« on: September 23, 2012, 07:26:01 AM »
Hello to all,
Just a quick note to say hello and hoping everyone is doing well. Or as well as can be expected.
I haven't been on in a while, keeping busy with Matt, college hunting, SAT prep, again....and the usual, working taking care of the house, which by the way I am re-thinking whether or not to stay in, it's just way too much for me to take care of by myself.  Don't want to make any rash decisions yet, so many memories, good and bad, some how the good outweigh the bad now. :love4:  Guess I really am starting to heal.
Matt is still in grief counseling and doing so much better.  I still have my bad days, but the memories keep me going now, no truer love will I ever find than what I had with Bill and for that I am thankful.
Probably won't make any decisions on the house sitution until Matt goes to college next fall, but will keep you posted.
Bye for now and hope evryone is hanging in there, I see a little light at the end of my tunnell... :icon_flower:
As always I wish peaceful days ahead for all!
Rose

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Spouse, Partner Loss / Bittersweet.............
« on: April 27, 2012, 12:30:52 PM »
As I watch my son, Matt getting ready for his Jr. Prom, the smiles turn to tears and back to smiles.
Can't help it, he's growing into such a fine young man and even after all he has been through this passed year, the loss of his Dad and Cousin he truly is remarkable.
Yet I can't help feeling sad that Bill is not here to see what a wonderful young man he is becoming.
I guess this is just one of many events in life that I will feel this...........

Rose

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Spouse, Partner Loss / So tired of right n wrong..............
« on: April 08, 2012, 02:31:31 PM »
When is enough enough??  I thought I was doing the right thing, I had Easter dinner, like the adult that I should be, even though the Holidays are all too hard on all of us! I invited Bill's family, trying to do the right thing?  Shoud have just did what I wanted to do in the first place...........NOTHING!  my wonderful (sarcasm) sister in law starts telling me how it's time for me to move on...take off the rings, and start living my life..........REALLY????  WHO THE HELL DO ES SHE THINK SHE IS?!?!?! How would she even know how I feel? She has never been married and this was her brother that I was and still am so much in love with, God how I miss him and always will!  When will people mind their own damn business and just leave me alone?! It's not like I have locked myself away........and when I said that his sister and mine started about how i don't go out like I should and have begun to live my life like I am older than I am..............seriously?  it hasn't even been a year............UGH I am really starting to not like any family................
Sorry needed to vent and feel this is the place to be............

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Spouse, Partner Loss / Hello All!
« on: January 23, 2012, 08:28:33 PM »
Just checking in, haven't posted in quite some time.  Well it's been a long hard eight months today......not feeling much better but taking each day one at time.  Have been taking my son Matt for greif counseling and he is doing much better after 5 different counselors I finally found a wonderful couunselor named Bob which Matt has been seeing now for two months, he did VERY well through the Holidays, much better than I did.  I miss Bill so much and sometimes still can't beleive it's real.  I'm still having nightmares but not as often which is a good thing. I've had my ups and downs with family and friends, guess they all think life just goes on, easier said than done. I actually have a sister that tried to set me up with someone, I was just horrified at the thought of it.  My only concern is for the well being of my son, but no one seems to understand that.  Hopefully we can all find some healing and peace in this new year ahead.
Thinking of you all as I try to manage and contain my own grief...Terry I am sorry for the loss of your father may you have some peace and healing as well, you do so much for others...xoxoxo

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Spouse, Partner Loss / Here's my story.....
« on: October 20, 2011, 06:08:31 PM »
I miss my husband Bill so much I just ache all over.  He passed away May 23, I still have a hard time beleiving the whole thing actually happened sometimes.  I still look for him, think I hear his voice and the nightmares are unbearable!
Monday morning I took my son to school, went to work. Bill was suposed to pick Matt up at school, he had a half day and they were going for lunch and to play golf, only he didn't show up.  Matt calls me work to tell me he wasn't there and the bus left already and he wasn't answering the phone....poor kid he was so angry thinking he forgot.  I of course knew something was terribly wrong, he would never forget to pick him up.  I picked Matt up from school and he wanted to go to his friends house, thank God!!  I went home to find him slumped over in his recliner in the family room, he had a heart attack and life as I knew it was over.  How do I move on and push through it all??
I feel empty and so alone.  I know life is supposed to go on, I have lost both parents and three brothers, so I know about grief, but this is so different for me and I'm not sure it's me or the pain Matt is in that makes this seem so much harder.
I can't seem to focus and although I have a wonderful support group of family and friends I seem to be avoiding most people and places that are associated with what we used to do together.....not right is it?

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