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Messages - garys-sis

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Sibling Loss / Re: Only Child now
« on: February 16, 2007, 05:54:30 PM »
Jillssister and Sad Eyes
I am so sorry for the both of you also. When my brother passed away the worst thing that people could say to me was " I know how you are feeling" when they didn't, but here people actually do know how I am feeling. It helps to know that I am not alone and that if I need to talk to someone I can. I also feel that I didn't get to fully grieve and I think to myself it has been almost 9 months it is to late to do so now. Then "special" days come along and I can't help but think of him and of course cry.
I got married in January, my brother was suppose to walk me down the aisle, I carried 2 bouquets of flowers. One to represent him and then my own. I gave the "brother" bouquet to my mom when I got to the front of the aisle. That helped me I really felt like he was with me that day.
His children are having their baptism this Sunday so he is going to be missed then. I know everybody says he is still with us but that doesn't make me miss him any less.
Anyway once again thanks for listening, it means alot to know that I can talk openly here.

Sibling Loss / Only Child now
« on: February 15, 2007, 04:31:38 PM »
Hello I am new to the site.
On May 21st I received a phone call from my brother's friends, they were worried about Gary because they couldn't get a hold of him. I went to my parents house to check on him. He was in bed sick. My brother was a diabetic. He told me he would be fine and that he wouldn't go to the hospital or come and stay at my house, it was just food poisining or so he thought. The next morning for some reason I went to check on him, it was then that I found my 29 year old brother dead in his bed. My parents were on their way home from vacation with his 2 children. They said he died of a diabetic induced heart attack. I feel like if I would have gotten him to the hospital, he would still be here, my parents would still have their little boy, their baby. I would still have my only brother, my kids thier uncle and most important my nephew and neice their father. In a way I was glad that I found him cause his kids would have ran down to see him when they got home, they would have found him. It was hard to tell my parents that their son was gone. I had to make alot of choices that I hope my parents agreed with. The next few days were hard.  I basically planned the funeral, cause mom & dad were still in shock, basically they were out of it. I really didn't grieve, I think I cried twice during the service. I just keep thinking what if...what if I would have taken him to get help.
It is hard being the only child after 29 years, I try to be there as much as possible for my parents. They are all I have now. Christmas and his birthday were especially hard but we made it through just as I am sure all of you have. Anyway just needed to talk. It helps me to do that. Thanks for listening.

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