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Messages - Lacemaker

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Parent Loss / Re: Daily struggle missing both parents
« on: February 18, 2018, 08:51:09 PM »
UnknOwnAngel, So sorry for your losses. I lost my mom almost a year ago and she was my biggest cheerleader. So I can understand wanting to share these things with them. I believe like terry said they know those good things and are there with us. Ive been going to a grief group and we use a book called undertsanding your grief. It has alot of helpful information in the book and helps you understand you are not alone and we all grieve differntly. If you need a listening ear there are alot of good ears on here. we may not have the answers for you but you will atleast have a sounding board and alot of the times that can be a tremendous help. And you will be surprised as life goes along God will put new people in your life to be there during different season of your life to help you along the way. As for your boyfriend just thank God he is there. And dont worry so much about putting to much on him. Apparently he loves you very much and wants to be there to help you through all of this..your in my thoughts and prayers. If you need to chat you can pm me and ill check in periodocally to see how your doing.

Parent Loss / Re: Daily struggle missing both parents
« on: February 18, 2018, 08:38:38 PM »

Parent Loss / Re: Thinking of you all this holiday season
« on: December 26, 2017, 08:36:14 PM »
Been a very rough Christmas. First without my sweet mama. My family got together and I went. But for the first time felt like an outsider with my family. Which my family has been very cold to me since losing mom. I was the one with her and couldn't get her to the hospital in time. So there is lots of blame floating around. I thought us all getting together might help. I was on the road 4 hours that day to be with them. And to boot not one mention of my mom which I felt was wrong. It would have hurt but really. My mom and I always loved Christmas. The lights, trees and decorations and shopping. We did a lot of this together. I wasn't going to put up my tree but I did get that done, but that's all. So as much as I love Christmas I'm just glad it's over. Sad to say that. I waited till last minute to do shopping and such and then tried to cram it all in the last week.. major stress.. so glad this forum is here. God Bless who started it and keeps it up and running for us all.

Parent Loss / Re: Introductions
« on: November 24, 2017, 06:37:47 PM »
Hi Chase, Sorry to hear about your mom. Not sure I have any ideas to help with the holidays as I'm in your same boat so to speak. I lost my mom in April and this is the first holidays without her and is proving to be very difficult. The one thing I've learned is to do what is comfortable to you. and there is no right or wrong to grieving and no time schedule. As we all grieve differently. But this group is here for each other if nothing else to listen when you need to vent.

Parent Loss / Re: Sharon's Birthday (Lacemaker)
« on: October 10, 2017, 08:02:50 PM »
Thanks Terry,,, It has been a very rough day for me

Parent Loss / Re: Birthdays and Angel Dates - NEW!
« on: October 07, 2017, 10:27:36 PM »
My Mom (Sharon) Birthday Is October 10..their wedding anniversary Oct 9 And her Angel date is April 3rd

Hi Natalieb. So sorry for the loss of his mother. Just Mark is right until your husband feels like he needs help it's not going to help. You may have to kinda sit back and wait on him. It's hard I'm sure with having a little one. But sometimes after a loss like this we are so angry that we take it out on our loved one's that are the closest as they are right in our path. Not that we normally would say or do the things that we are doing when we are mourning a lost loved one at any other time. But we just aren't ourselves at this point. I to can understand the anger. I lost my mom in April of this year and I am still very mad at the doctors and even God. And kinda just mad at the world. It's just not fair. You think why them.  And this may be where he is at. It's so hard to lose a parent that you are close to. And especially to something as terrible as Cancer. As we watch as they suffer through the surgeries and treatments and watch are strong loved ones dwindle away. And as for his biological father since his mom is gone and has went through such a difficult time, trying to bring his father back in the mix might bring back feelings of where were you when mom and I needed you the most. Sorry we don't have the answers for you. But just know we are here to listen if you need to vent.

Spouse, Partner Loss / Re: Gina's Birthday
« on: September 13, 2017, 07:03:50 PM »
JustMark, Been thinking a lot about you lately knowing you are facing difficult days. Am so glad the Lord brought that special birthday of Gina's to remember. Those memories help us to make it through those days that we think are going to be unbearable. Just know I'm here to listen if you need a listening ear in the days and weeks to come.

Parent Loss / Re: (JustMark) Dad's Angel Date
« on: August 30, 2017, 07:39:33 PM »
JustMark. Thinking of you as you face these difficult days to come. Remembering and reliving those days. Just know you are in our thoughts and if you need to chat we are here.

Spouse, Partner Loss / Re: Been a month
« on: August 22, 2017, 06:34:15 PM »
Dear JustMark, So sorry for the loss of your friend Tim.. Seems like when we suffer one real bad loss like we all have then we get smacked in the face again. So glad you are going to be playing for the fundraiser. I think your friend would be well pleased with having you there. Glad Ben seems to be picking up the cues he is needing to be a good service dog. Let me know if the relaxation cd works. Sure could use something to help me to.

Parent Loss / Re: losing my mother to cancer. need advice.
« on: August 01, 2017, 07:22:30 PM »
Dear Northbound.. I am so sorry you are having to face this. Especially as a young adult. I recently lost my mother to a Brain tumour. And I have never been so lost in my life. I helped care for my sweet mother while believing the doctors that she was going to whip it, only for me to to watch her pass in my car while trying to get her to a hospital. I agree with JustMark I think if it was me I would go ahead and try to get married while she is still with you. You'll never regret her getting to see you happily married. As for if she whips it what to do. Just listen to your heart. I only wish I could've had more time with my mother. I've never dealt with anything so hard in my life as losing her. I suggest spending as much time with her as you can at this point. Because when you look back on this time whether it's months or years later you'll never have regret for spending to little time with her. I do as when we believed my mom was going to be ok I let my brother care for my mom when he wanted and backed away a bit and was there when he said he wanted me to spare him. Had I known I would've been there all the time. Hope you can find some peace..

Spouse, Partner Loss / Re: Been a month
« on: August 01, 2017, 07:00:00 PM »
Hi JustMark,  So glad to hear that you are picking your music  back up.. Music can be so soothing to the soul, Or at least that Is the way it always seems to me. Its like it can transform you to another place.. Also glad you are back taking care of yourself again. It is so easy to get off track while caring for a loved one and then when you realize it especially after a loss like we have all suffered sometimes you just don't even care anymore. Glad you are reaching out for the help. And so glad to hear that the VA is finally taking better care of the men and women who have served our country so bravely. As for Ben what breed of dog is he. Sounds like you are making the transition with the dogs wisely.. Hope it all works well where they can all get along.

Spouse, Partner Loss / Re: Been a month
« on: June 24, 2017, 08:44:40 PM »
Hi Mark...So glad you took your brother up on his offer. None of us need to be alone on any of those special days that are triggers for us. Proud of you for stepping up and doing more cooking to take better care of yourself. And you know that Gina would be pleased with you for it to.. Sure wish you could sleep though. Amazed you have no lack of energy.. On my long nights I sure feel zapped.. Keep taking care of yourself and try not to overdo to much. Its easy when we are trying to keep ourselves busy sometimes to not think of consequences of our actions till we are hurting.. Hope you have a good week. :cat:

Child Loss / Re: Lost my daughter
« on: June 18, 2017, 07:16:15 PM »
So sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how you are hurting. Just know we are here if you need to talk or just vent. I lost my mom a couple of months ago and found this group. .We are all here for each other. When your ready to share about her we would love to hear about her. Take care and be kind to yourself. Just know their is no right way to grieve.. Some people will try to tell you how you should feel and what to do. You won't find that here. Take care and try and have a good week.

Parent Loss / where is day
« on: May 29, 2017, 08:10:13 PM »
I really thought this would be a group to help. But seems like hardly anyone is ever on here. Maybe its just where I am at. I do want to say thanks to the couple of people who have responded to me. I guess today was especially another hard day and thought others might be on here today. Hope all is doing better. Have a good week everyone.

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