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Messages - Ultronstark96

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Hey you guys, i hope this gets read as recently I have found myself in this similar situation. My girlfriend, or ex...has depression and some days she was feeling like herself other days not so much. Everything was going perfectly fine up until monday of this week when she said she felt like we needed to break up because she feels like she has so many masks and doesnt know who the real her is and doesnt find that its fair for me to love someone who doesnt even know who she is. I am home for the summer i go to school 2 hours away, she had a issue with the distance it was hard for her and me too, i am only 20 and i know it sounds cliche but she was and is the girl for me i mean we spoke of a realistic close future like moving in with eachother after school and such and we would joke about stuff like that with also having serious intentions. Everything was going good like I said until last thursday she said she wasnt feeling like herself, the next day she told me she was feelign much better and was excited to see me the next day, the two of us were going to a music festival. The day of the festival she was totally her and we hugged, kissed, all of the good stuff. Sunday night she told her mom she felt this way and monday she spoke to me about ending it because she needs time to work stuff out. I asked if there would be a chance we could date after school  i told her i saw a future with her which didnt scare me and told her shw was always the girl for me since the day I met her,  I told her it would always be her and I would always love her and she said "I just dont want to stand in the way of your happiness". i understand why she is doing the this, taking care of yourself is always the best thing to do, or else how can you love someone else right!? Her and I would be on 2nd year August 18, we were best friends before we dated and I was always there to help with depression and everything else. I felt like a jerk to say it but the two things that make this all hard is 1) We have done EVERYTHING with eachother and 2) I would be upset to see her with someone else, just because we told eachother EVERYTHING, even stuff she hid from her parents or her therapist, she already has trust issues and doesnt open up to too many people so I dont feel like I have to worry that she would move on to someone, she also said that she doesnt want to date anybody else and again needs this time for herself. She said I feel like i have held on for so long that even though it sounds awful, i just need to let go. Somone made that sand analogy which helped saying that if you hold tightly onto sand it slips away, if you hold onto it loosely it stays put. I just know that she cares so much about me and is doing this for herself and not to hurt me, depression is hard but when you love someone you always want the best. I hope this wasnt all over the place and that someone can reply and give me some advice...I have been reading the previous threads and find that some stuff applies to my situation. I havent spoke to her today as I want her to ocme to me when shes ready to talk or comfortable I dont want to rush things etc. I look at that quote "If you love something set it free. If it comes back to you its yours: I strongly believe in that right now.

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I just want to say, I am currently going through this situation and the advice ive read on this page and the "sand analogy"  really helped. I know this is an old thread but it helped to read!

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