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Messages - closs86

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1
Main / Re: Where is justice?
« on: November 02, 2010, 08:10:04 PM »
Hi Jackie,
    I also haven't been here for a while, It is going to be 7 months for me also, can't believe it,  I am sorry that your hopes are not working out, I do know that the bereavement groups always say not to rush into any relationships, even though he was an old love, be careful, you are very vulnerable right now.  I wish you the best. I am also having a lot of ups and downs, with the holidays around the corner, it is a little scary for me, my kids and grandkids needing me and I don't think I can be there for them this year. I wish I could go to sleep and wake up Jan 2,
take care
hugs karen

2
Main / Re: How Do I Go On?
« on: August 28, 2010, 08:10:31 PM »
Hi
    I am so sorry for you loss, it is so sad for all of us here, we all know what you are feeling and going through, I lost my wonderful husband on April 6, he also died unexpectedly, he had pancreatic cancer and from when his symptoms showed until he was gone it was only 6 weeks.  We were married 43 years, it is so hard to get through all of this.  I have tried everything, I went back to work, bereavement groups, one on one counseling, I like the one on one the best, and I really think that she is helping me get through this somehow.   I also have animals, dogs, and they are so good, when you come home there is life when you open the door, and they are so happy to see you. 
    I wish you peace, and comfort in your heart and mind.
God Bless
Karen

3
Main / Re: husband's and soulmate has passed
« on: August 11, 2010, 06:26:00 PM »
Hi Evelyn,
   I feel the same as you do, everything you said sounds just like I feel, the only difference is they renewed our vows in the hospital when the priest came up to bless him, I am happy they did that.
   I don't know where we are supposed to get strength from or how,  but I do find myself doing things I never ever would have done before, and I know that Johnny is guiding me and staying with me, so I find some peace in that.
Take care
Karen

4
Main / Re: Am I losing my mind?
« on: August 11, 2010, 06:22:26 PM »
Hi Juls,
   I am so sorry for your loss, my husband had a stomach ache also 60, thought he caught something from the kids, 3 weeks later, he was in memorial sloane kettering diagnosed with pancreatic cancer that spread to his liver and his gut, and 3 weeks from entering the hospital he was gone, so I know about shock, it is a terrible sickness, and they really can't do much for it.  I also thought I was going crazy lots of times, and still do sometimes, My husband passed April 6, it still feels like he will be coming home any minute.  Before that 6 weeks he was perfect, healthy, walked 3 miles every day, ate all the "right things" so who knows, I don't think the professionals even know.  All I know is that he is gone and I have a broken heart, we were married 44 years, he was my life, my everything, it is very hard to be here without him
but everyone says one minute at a time, so that is what we have to do
   Come here when you want to vent, this is a good place it has helped me
take good care of yourself,
Karen

5
Main / Re: husband's and soulmate has passed
« on: August 09, 2010, 06:42:25 PM »
Hi Evelyn
     I am so sorry that you are in such pain, please don't do anything to yourself, you can't it is not fair to your children, it will be something that will haunt them for the rest of their lives.  We all miss our loves, I was with my husband since i was 16, now i am 60, it was a lifetime, I don't know any other way to live, except how it was to be with him.  It is not easy at all, this is a whole new life, one that we didn't ask for or want, but we have it. I have done things that surprise me, that I never ever thought I could do, I know that johnny is helping me, I feel it, I haven't driven in years, Johnny was the driver, now I have to drive again or I will be in trouble. You know how hard it is for me to get back out there, but I ask johnny and god to help and stay with me and they do. and I have been driving more and more. so many things that I have done now that I never did before, we have to.
   I also want to be with Johnny and would love for it to happen, but we have to wait until it is supposed to, or we might not be with them again if we don't wait. I don't want to take that chance.
   Just keep trying and pushing yourself, to get out of the house, try to keep your mind busy. even a couple of hours during the day will do you good.
Take care
stay strong
karen

6
Main / Re: suddenly and totally unexpected
« on: August 03, 2010, 08:45:46 PM »
Hi Penny,
  I wish I knew the answers, I guess we will find out when it is our time,  I went to the therapist today, It was a tough session, but I think I feel a little better tonight.  I don't even know anymore, better for a little while, only to crash again, this is a terrible and hard road for us.
Well I better get to bed, work tomorrow
good night
karen

7
Main / Re: Still Asking Why
« on: August 03, 2010, 08:40:14 PM »
Hi Jannie,
  You are right work is good for us right now, I can't believe that i actually look forward to work, never dreamt that i would look forward to work but like you say it is regimented, and good for me,  It is nice that you have a pool right where you live and there is always someone there to talk to, sounds like a nice place.
   I am pretty tired tonight, Jay leno is on now, but I better start getting to sleep, I have been staying up till 2ish, i don't want to get in a habit of staying up that late.
have a good day tomorrow,
hugs
karen

8
Main / Re: Where is justice?
« on: August 02, 2010, 09:23:33 PM »
Hi Jackie,
   How are you?, I was o k, up until tonight, I am really in a down spiral, trying to gather my strength but feel real lousy today,  it will be 4 months august 6, maybe that is what is bothering me, i don't know. I just miss him so much, I just can't stand it. I need him to come home.
Take care
Karen

9
Main / Re: Still Asking Why
« on: August 02, 2010, 09:20:31 PM »
Hi Jannie,
    Having a real bad day today, feel so depressed and missing him so much, my kids were over this weekend so I was busy all weekend, today i just crashed, and feel really bad, also 4 months is approaching, maybe that is it, i don't know. I just want to run away tonight, but there is nowhere to run.
Take care
Karen

10
Main / Re: suddenly and totally unexpected
« on: August 02, 2010, 09:17:42 PM »
Hi penny,
    having a real bad day today, my sons, my daughter in laws, and my grandkids came to visit on Sat and Sun, so i was very busy on the weekend and my mind was occupied, today i crashed.  When i first got up I was o k, as the day went on I got worse and worse, and tonight I am in a state, I just miss him so much, we are approaching 4 months August 6, I just want him to come back, tonight i just want to run and run and run, and never ever stop.
take care
karen

11
Main / Re: A New Member
« on: August 02, 2010, 09:12:46 PM »
Hi Mel
   So sorry for your loss, I also had a sudden unexpected loss my husband was also only 60, in 3 weeks they diagnosed him with pancreatic cancer and he was gone, before that he was perfect walking every day, eating the "right food", and trying to take care of himself,  sorry that your grandson had to find him like that, this is a horrible journey that we have to go through, sometimes i find it almost impossible, today is one of those days.
    Take care of yourself
     Karen

12
Main / Re: help
« on: August 01, 2010, 10:56:49 PM »
Hi Ron,
  We all know what you are going through, it is scary, and you feel like you can't think or focus on anything, It is not easy, I lost my husband on April 6, he was only 60 and died suddenly, and unexpectedly, so we are all coming from the same horror, Just come here and vent, say whatever you have to get off your chest, this is a great bunch of people they are caring and have some wonderful ideas, and they are always here for you
Take care
karen

13
Main / Re: suddenly and totally unexpected
« on: August 01, 2010, 10:52:04 PM »
Hi
I am so sorry for your loss, that is it they just disappear, how??????? hard to understand, hard to accept, hard to live after we lose them, life is so different, and so many adjustments, like everyone says all the time, one day at a time, or one minute at a time, whatever you need to do to get through each day. I lost my husband on April 6, he was 60, and it was sudden and unexpected, so I was really shocked. very very hard to go on.
God Bless
wish you peace
karen

14
Main / Re: Where is justice?
« on: July 30, 2010, 09:30:17 PM »
Jackie,
  I know what you mean, 
Hugs
Karen

15
Main / Re: suddenly and totally unexpected
« on: July 30, 2010, 09:28:20 PM »
Hi Penny and Jackie,
     So sorry that you had to go to court yourself, that must have been so terrible, and to look at that s o b, that did this it must break your heart, How many times will you have to go to court before they put this guy in jail??
 It will probably take you a few days to recouperate from the aggravation, I know it would be like that for me.  Take care of yourself as this is so stressful for you, i am sure.    I am off now until Wed. what to do?????, now the days get long, looking for something to do, can't just sit home, get to depressed. This is so terrible, I miss him so much, I think I will have a heart attack or something, to much stress for any person to handle, without it doing something to them.  So sorry that we have to be in so much pain, with no end to it.  It really is not fair, why does these things happen to people who love and are happy with their spouses, and then there are people that would be happy for their spouses to pass and they live forever. I just don't get it.

Have a good day, take care
hugs
karen
     

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