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Messages - sevenofwands

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1
Recommended Grief Books / Re: Dark Emotions
« on: May 08, 2015, 12:32:40 PM »
The Truth About Grief: The Myth of Its Five Stages By Ruth Davis Konigsberg

"She dedicates an entire chapter to widowhood. Books like Joan Didion’s The Year of Magical Thinking paints grief as tumultuous, heart wrenching and never-ending. In On Grief and Grieving, Kübler-Ross said that “The reality is that you will grieve forever.”

Konigsberg, however, writes that such books imply that all grief looks like this, and that widows never recover. And if widows do recover and go on to date or remarry, they’re seen as the exception. Or worse, they’re viewed with suspicion (e.g., she probably hasn’t processed her grief fully yet) or judgment (e.g., how could she remarry so quickly? his body isn’t even cold yet). "

http://psychcentral.com/lib/the-truth-about-grief-the-myth-of-its-five-stages/0006292

http://www.theguardian.com/books/2011/aug/19/grief-memoir-oates-didion-orourke


2
Spouse, Partner Loss / Re: How is everyone?
« on: April 04, 2015, 09:50:43 AM »
For Terry and everyone on this forum.

Good wishes for peaceful moments over this holiday period.  Hope everyone is well.

All the best
Sevenofwands


3
Recommended Grief Books / The Other Side of Sadness
« on: April 04, 2015, 09:43:23 AM »
A book by George Bonnano

"The Other Side of Sadness"

George A. Bonanno is professor of clinical psychology at Columbia University

Review:

Excerpt:

"We tend to understand grief as a predictable five-stage process of denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. But in The Other Side of Sadness, George Bonanno shows that our conventional model discounts our capacity for resilience. In fact, he reveals that we are already hardwired to deal with our losses efficiently--not by graduating through static phases. Weaving in explorations of mourning rituals and the universal experiences of the death of a parent or child, Bonanno examines how our inborn emotions--anger and denial, but also relief and joy--help us deal effectively with loss."

4
Main / Re: Happy Birthday, Donna B.
« on: July 30, 2013, 12:29:59 PM »
Very belated greetings, and I echo your good wishes to Donna.  I'll also take this opportunity to say hello again to those I knew on this site, some of whom I still see here.  I do hope you are all forging ahead as best you can and finding some comfort in the support of others.

Hugs to all
Seven of Wands

6
So very sorry, Gail.  All those memories.....

Seven

7
Main / Re: Death Before Dying
« on: August 06, 2012, 01:37:20 PM »
Helene, you have a lovely heart.  So beautiful. 
So much pain in your poem.   How someone can behave like that is far beyod the reach of my comprehension.

Please visit more, when you can.  Are you taking care of yourself?  Please do.....

Hugs
Seven

8
Spouse, Partner Loss / Re: So quiet here.....
« on: August 06, 2012, 01:33:20 PM »
Hello Terry, and everyone.

I do look in here as oftens possible, and when I can post up somethng ovr on the recommended reading sector of this site.  Also was thinking of our Kevin these days.  Soon it will be his anniversary.....

Generally, I just don't know what to say.

Seven

9
Recommended Grief Books / Re: Practical help
« on: August 01, 2012, 08:41:21 AM »
http://www.drlarrylachman.com/people/caring-for-the-caregiver.php

"Grief expert and psychologist, Dr. Therese Rando, in her book, How To Go On Living When Someone You Love Dies, writes that in order to "resolve" grief, we all need to acknowledge and understand our loss, experience our pain, and move adaptively into a new life without our dearly departed. This is a crucial point since many of my current bereavement clients struggle with this self-imposed dilemma: "How can I keep my loved ones' memory alive, without having to be in pain to do it?"


10
Recommended Grief Books / Re: Practical help
« on: July 29, 2012, 08:38:01 AM »
http://www.havenofnova.org/articles/useful_articles.html

Some good articles here for the grieving.

Seven

11
Sibling Loss / Re: Lesley's Death Date
« on: July 17, 2012, 09:54:05 AM »
Dear Helene:  My sincere condolences to you, Betty and to Chuck's family.  What a sad, sad business.  Everything so sudden. 
You show great strength, Helene, in your kindness and support for Betty, and Barry.  Go easy on yourself if you can.  You have your mourning there too, and the need to build yourself up.  Watch out for that reserve tank!

Take care.
thinking of you
Seven

12
Sibling Loss / Re: Lesley's Death Date
« on: July 16, 2012, 12:45:06 PM »
Helene:

I am so sorry to hear for these terrible misfortunes.  I do think of you, and my thoughts are with you all at this so difficult time.

Take care, and do post when you can.

Seven

13
Recommended Grief Books / Grieving Friend
« on: July 01, 2012, 12:12:40 PM »
Grief is the normal and natural reaction to loss, and feeling sad or bad is not only appropriate but actually healthy. There are better ways  to offer emotional and physical support to someone you care about while they work through a tumultuous time.

Acknowledge what happened. While bringing up the subject may feel awkward, it’s necessary. The grieving person needs and wants to talk about what happened and their relationship to the person involved. Robbing them of that opportunity is arguably the worst thing you can do."

From:

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/broken-hearts/201204/basic-tips-helping-grieving-friend


14
Recommended Grief Books / Re: Any Ideas on books for kids?
« on: July 01, 2012, 11:45:40 AM »
"Milo"  by Alan Silberberg

"Silberberg describes Milo's difficulty in dealing with the world without his mother as he awkardly lives with what he sees as an empty space in his family. He writes about how children cope, that is how his friends at school struggle to deal with the reality of his mother's death. In the end, the book is about continuing bonds, as Milo realizes that he does have a mother, she just isn't in his life in the same way. All the things at home that reminded him of her were taken down by his father; this was a way his father dealt with his own grief. In the end Milo puts his mother back in his life, by putting up pictures of her as well as using some of the things she used in the house. He ends the book saying that he is happy to be in a family of three and in remembering that they were once four."

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/raising-grieving-children/201103/explaining-friends-what-grief-is-about


15
Recommended Grief Books / Re: Any Ideas on books for kids?
« on: June 24, 2012, 03:03:32 PM »
You are more than welcome, Peggy. 

Thank you too for calling in to say "thank you".  I don't hear it too often.

Warm wishes
Seven

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