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Messages - Kyme jeffreys Mom

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1
Child Loss / Is it wrong?
« on: March 01, 2007, 07:50:29 PM »
Is it wrong to have kept everything that was him?

Is it wrong that I have his clothes he died in and I take them out window car glass and all just to smell them, on any occassion i FEEL FIT.

Just to know that he was mine and someone took him, I miss him so much all the time, I just keep everthing little thing.

WE had to move two weeks after his death no choice, did not have the the right to close his room and say when I am ready, I had to and DID deal with Jeff's stuff.

But I take out the clothes he died in just to smell him, his knapesack just to know he did live

is this wrong

I miss him so much

Always Kyme Jeff's Mom

2
Child Loss / Poem for my son Jeffrey
« on: February 28, 2007, 05:44:23 PM »
First have to thank you all for your supoort - My son's Angel Date is MARCH 2nd. I am sorry that when I posted it seemed like that day - I do have my days

This poem was writtern for Jeff and I would like to share it with you

Thank you for all your support over these last two years

Always Kyme - "forever AND ALWAYS Jeff's Mom|

ANGEL DATE
 
Who knows what it was,
That caused this fate,
And turned this day,
To the Angel Date,
 
A mark in time,
Now to remind,
Of the pain and loss,
Life left behind,
 
The Anniversary date,
A life was destroyed,
My childís life lost,
Leaving such a void,
 
A hurt so great,
Thought Iíd go insane,
Only photos and memories,
Now remain,
 
Others devastated,
Family and friend,
Still not believing,
My childís life did end,
 
And here I am,
Hurting and coping,
Waiting for a sign,
And always hoping,
 
Constant reminders,
Even in poem,
My child is gone,
And isnít coming home,
 
But he lives on in my heart,
And there he will stay,
Till weíre reunited,
Again one dayÖÖ
 
 
Copyright 2007 by Stanley N. Radish
 

3
Child Loss / Loss of a great Kid
« on: February 16, 2007, 04:59:20 PM »
Jeffrey's second angel date

do not know why he was taken, will never understand

Love him always miss him like there is no tomorrow

Kyme - Jeffrey;s mom always

4
Child Loss / Re: he missed her...
« on: February 16, 2007, 04:57:05 PM »
Hi Nina,

I am glad you have found your way here. We have never spoken, but Jeffrey talked highly of you. I remember Valentine's Day two years ago, Jeff bought you a card, I went with him to pick it out, he wanted to thank you for letting him stay at your house, for making him apart of your family.

My son loved your daughter with all his heart, and it has brokern mine beyond repair to have lost him.

He was , is my life, he made each and everyday brighter , I miss him with every breath I take, he was my reason for living, he made my other two children who they are today, Jeffrey was My man in my life and the few times Tanya did come to our home, she was a sweet, polite and a pretty Girl, no wonder Jeff fell in love.

Nina the second year is the hardest, at least it has been for me. I see his friends sometimes and think he would be in his second year of University and Tanya would be graduating Vanier.

We both lost two GREAT kids, life will never ever be the same, but here in this forum you will find parents that sit right where we are, that have the same pain the same loniness, the same feelings and in this you will know you are never alone.

I am never far Nina, as we both know Our children, lived, loved and died together, unfortunaley we share a bond uncommon here on this board.

The two daughters who remain will always remind you of Tanya, they will always say what if - but the guilt that eats us up is not healthy, like I have always said, I should not have let him go.

But I did, I had to, he loved her and wanted to go to your house that day

I did and I have to  live with that

You take Care Nina, Tanya is never far from my mind nor my heart

Always Jeffrey's Mom


5
Child Loss / For us Mom's and Dad's
« on: February 06, 2007, 08:19:59 PM »
poem for us Mom's and Dad's

Good Morning Hello Mommy

Good Morning Hello Mommy, Iíve a million things to say,
I wish that you could hear me, And Iím trying to find a way,
I know my body left you, And I think that that was wrong,
But you should know that I am here, Iíve been with you all along,
Iím with you every morning, Just because it feels right,
And those times you fall asleep, I kiss your cheek good night,
I know you canít remember, All the times I held your hand,
But Iíve been watching over you, When you go to dreamland,
I know that youíre unhappy, This time youíve thought me gone,
I wish right now that you could know, Iíll be with you from now on,
I guess you think Iím hiding, I am Iím in your heart,
I guess I always thought you knew, Weíd never be apart,
If you look there you will find me, And there Iíll always be,
Iím told itís for a long long time, How longís eternity?
I still have lots of questions, And they may not come through clear,
But if you listen hard enough, I know that you will hear,
And itís ok to answer, Iíll hear the things you say,
You can answer with your voice or heart, Iíll hear you either way,
And itís ok to remember, Cause I too miss your touch,
And I want you to know mommy, I still love you very much,
I had to tell you somehow, So I asked this poet guy,
If he could tell these things to you, His mind said he would try,
So then I softly whispered, As he sat there on the beach,
And yes I know that you were there, But you I couldnít reach,
I said please sir tell my mommy, all these things I say to you,
And tell her in a special way so sheíll know that itís true,
Tell her that I love her, And that yes I am ok,
Tell her that I Ďve been with her and will be every day,
Tell her that I donít know why And know neither does she,
That this is just the way things are, Itís how it has to be,
Please tell my Mommy mister, I donít think that sheíll get mad,
And maybe if she knows these things, she wonít have to be sadÖ

Copyright 2006 by Stanley N. Radish

Thank you to a friend that wrote this, Thank you

For my Jeffrey always loved forever missed

Your Mom always waiting for you to come home



6
Child Loss / Re: Mask
« on: January 30, 2007, 05:47:26 PM »
The mask


ahh the mask,

I work in education in the last 5 months I have seen more than 70% of my population turn to kids my sons age, I see, I  get your Jeff's Mom!"

Yup! I say

Thy see his pictures in my office that were up before he died, and I get as they leave my office ,,ey all turn and say why?

I tell them that when they have that answer please tell me.

I met the mom's , the dad's ,, sisters, the brothers and they all knew him somehow.

The mask I wear is one of pride for my son, but it is always one of absolute sorrow and disbeflief that a child that was so known so well respected was taken,


My mask I guesshowis part of me, I have suffered a heart attack , and you know welcomed death full fold, I have two younger children than Jeff and I am not permitted to bring him up.....To painful,.....to much shit Mom...

So the Mask stays, Jeffrey will always be part of me, and hell nor heaven can replace him,but on ething I do know as I aproach his 2nd angel date , is he did live, he lovedand was so verymuch loved.

And if life had given him "Jeff" half a chance we would have changed tomorrow

I love him and miss so very much

Always and foreer Jeffrey's Mom"


7
Child Loss / Re: Cory's angel date
« on: January 30, 2007, 05:21:20 PM »
Drarest Deb,

Thinking of you on Corey's ANGEL date and all what you have done for  me, he will always be with you, and I know he is now!

knowing how you feel , so wishing I could make it better,hope our sons are up there or somewhere, saying saying GEEZZ!!! Mom!

From a Mom to Mom

I feel . I know , I understand,

yet a son loves his mom like know no one else, and I know he loved you

keeping you close sending you hugs and kisses

Kyme "always Jeffrey's Mom"



8
Child Loss / Re: Tattoo For My Son
« on: January 30, 2007, 05:13:34 PM »
Dear Don.

it is a beautiful tattoo, your son would be so proud

Keeping you in my thought and prayers

soon is mine

always think of you and all the help you have given me

Kyme for ever Jeffrey' Mom






9
Child Loss / Re: Thinking of you today Don
« on: January 23, 2007, 09:38:21 PM »
Dear Donny's Dad,

Thinking of you and your family on Donny's Birthday these days are the hardest, yet, it is the memories of his Happy Birthdays that mean so much

With much love

Kyme "Jeffrey's Mom" ALWAYS and Forever

10
Child Loss / Re: SOS - IMMEDIATE NEED
« on: January 15, 2007, 11:29:22 PM »
Johanna

I am in Canada, still as far as I now montreal is still part of us

Kyme

11
Child Loss / Re: missing candi
« on: January 15, 2007, 11:22:34 PM »
Martha,


When we had the ice storm   here in Quebec it was the best time had Jeff, Jenn and Jon.


I will never forget them playing  monopoly and no one wanting to own the south, my kids are so politically inkline

when it snows like today blowing and cold his friends told me this is a Jeff's day,

he died on a day like to day and was buried on the same, he loved the blowing snow, the weird weather,

this makes me miss him and think of and all of you

you will
get through the bad weather this that mankind had created

but do we?

still fighting my own Stormy weather hope all make it through thinking of all of you and with love

Kyme
Jeffrey'sMom Always

12
Child Loss / Re: A Special Letter
« on: January 11, 2007, 08:44:14 PM »
I got sort of one of those recently, it was for Jeff's B-day I got an email from hi s best friend whom I called my third but first most son, here is the email I got I cried and cried since

I am looking forward to seeing you again. In fact, I wouldn't mind taking you out to dinner on my bill. In terms of what you said about men and love, I love Jeff. No questions asked. Most men would prefer not to call it that (we're all homophobes) but it is not love in the romantic sense; my love for Jeff is the same love I have for my brother - a person who I admire, respect, and would stand up for no matter what.
 
I was going to ask your permission at the dinner, but I suppose I could ask you about it here. I am writing a fantasy series in the style of Lord of the Rings (it's my goal in life) and I want to include the following dedication upon completion:
 
"In honoured memory of my best friend Jeff Sangiovanni, the noblest man I have ever known."

Please let me know if this is alright with you.
 
Miss you,
Ryan


I replied He would be so honoured

I miss him so freaking much

Kyme alway Jeffrey's Mom

I miss Jeff and all his friends so much

b it is so nice to know they cared, means a lot, at sometimes means more than life itself

13
Child Loss / Re: Dottie ref Donny's Web Site
« on: January 11, 2007, 06:20:30 PM »
you both inspire me

you have both lost

and yet you both fight for life

THANK YOU

Kyme Jeffrey's Mom

14
Child Loss / Re: Sharing daughter's Tattoo
« on: January 11, 2007, 06:14:50 PM »
I have wanted a tattoo to devout my admiration and love to my son, just stuff got in the way it will be done by Jen's artist on March 2, 2007 his 2nd angel date, and will maybe finally go to his grave

I really need to talk to him

this post traumatic syndrome s***t is eating me away

I miss him so much

Kyme always Jeffrey's mom

15
Child Loss / Sharing daughter's Tattoo
« on: January 11, 2007, 10:20:30 AM »
I thought I would share a picture of the Tattoo my daughter is in the process of getting.

and the story behind it.

The night Jeffrey was killed she was at school, they both attended the same College, she was in class when I tried her cell phone. I left my home in Laval and travelled over an hour to identify my son's body. She called me at around 10:30 and was tired, but wanted to hang in the city for a couple of more hours, I just said please come home, finally I convinced her that I would call her fatehr and tell him to pick her up. We are divorced and he had gone with me and then he went to his brother's leaving me in a home that was missing it's major link.

When she did finally came home I had to tell her that her big brother had been killed and that both him and Tanya died instanly, it was gut wrenchinging.

She went through a lot of emotional up and downs, even through the cutting stage (harm to oneself) it was only last Christmas when she turned to me and said Jeffrey would love the new Xbox 360 and she suddenly broke down realizing that her big brother was never coming home.

Getting off track, two months after Jeffrey left us, she designed this tatoo, but no one would do a breast piece until she was at least 21.

She had to be 21 before they would even think about starting it, and guess who is turning 21 in 2 weeks; soon she will be older than her older brother, which is kind of hard to swallow. She had designed this 2 months after Jeff left us, it is in his memory, the broken heart is what happened when she found out about Jeff and the pins represent her trying to mend but will never be fixed, the ragged wings cause he was and now is a real rugged angel, the halo represents his righteousness and pure of heart. It is big but that is what she wanted. Apparently she said it hurt a little bit. It took 6 hours and the colour is yet to come.

I had to let her do it, she loved him so much.
thanks for letting me share



Kyme Jeffrey's mom

missing him more and more with each passing moment in time






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