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Messages - Luvinmike

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1
Spouse, Partner Loss / Re: bad husband
« on: January 29, 2012, 03:04:09 PM »
You also have my prayers for your strength in this jason. and to you angie for peace. If it might help you Jason, I remind myself that we are all going to die and it is just a timeline, a man-made measurement.
It is too bad that you two did not resolve this while physically able, but you would have, hindsight is what you are doing, her death is and was far beyond your control. There was love there for both of you or none of this would have happened.
Sorry for your enormous pain.

Terri

2
Spouse, Partner Loss / Re: How Much Can a Man Take?
« on: December 18, 2011, 06:09:31 PM »
Dear DonnysDad,

I am so truly sorry to hear of the loss of your beloved wife Bonnie. I am sorry for th loss and emptiness in your home at this time. When you are low at least know there are many of us here praying and caring for you and sending you strength every day as best we can.

Very sorry DonnysDad,

Terri

3
Dear Angela,

I am very sorry for your loss of your beloved husband. I am sorry that you and your children just wish things could be different and not missing him, having him physically with you all. I do understand that. I read this thread and I wanted to write you as I lost my husband suddenly of a genetic heart arrythmia and have had to have my three kids screened for similar trait since. It can be anxiety provoking, but, I have always found the grief of just wanting our family back all together to be the hardest thing. I am doing a little bit better these days. I credit walking, this site, and sharing the feelings of grief with others for at least allowing me to keep our life going as I know my Michael would want.
 I was 42 and my husband 44. I am still pushing forward 3 and 1/2 years later.

I will say that I can think more clearly, finding some humor and fun again, and I am glad to report that our kids seem to be emotionally okay as they become young adults, mine do have some health issues, so far so good though. I know that you are younger and so aren't your children- so I felt I wanted to write you and tell you that I truly wish you continued strength and perseverance. I wish you the ability to eventually feel that some moments now in your new life are truly interesting and that some of that joy returns.
I am glad you found this site. We care, Terri

4
Spouse, Partner Loss / Re: Grief Cannot Be Rushed
« on: July 22, 2011, 05:07:56 AM »
       Thank you Pam and Terry for both the welcome back and for all of your kind words to me and others here. I wrote to Tom as well.

 I visited this site daily for a very long time, as I learned how to live my life without my best friend and true love Mike. Our sudden loss of Mike at age 44 left me and our three kids reeling and in overwhelming grief.
I have been hard at work for three years to try to create, "Something out of nothing", is how it feels to me in this new and scary world. I am glad to say I am feeling more clear minded and less afraid. I miss Mike enormously, and my heart just breaks for our kids at lots of moments, but, they also are getting their stability back. I would say they are happy. College, friends and so on. Some problems too, especially our youngest with some special needs, he struggles.
I wrote this a.m. to wish everyone on here a true moment of peace, I learned to find those moments by thinking of a shared smile between me and Mike. One time I rigged up a bunch of sprinklers at once on the lawn and he thought it was really funny- I remember the exact moment that we laughed with each other. Those thoughts outweigh all the ways I wish I did things differently, or could have etc. I am learning not to go there, just love him and myself in a human way, as imperfect yet loving. It has helped me, and I hope someone else can get something from my note. Keep caring for yourself and putting one foot in front of the other. Sending wishes of strength and comfort to you all. Pam and Terry too! :)

5
Spouse, Partner Loss / Re: Grief Cannot Be Rushed
« on: July 16, 2011, 07:46:06 AM »
So sorry for your loss sad and lonely. Thank you for posting that grief can't be rushed.

Browneyedgirl, ((hug)) and my heart goes out to you as you remember your brother with love. I haven't come on here much, as it is three years for me and i am plugging along, but i can see all the care you give others. You are very special and I wish you a little peace every day.

Terri

6
Spouse, Partner Loss / Re: cannot do this alone
« on: April 16, 2011, 05:19:27 AM »
Dear Michelle and tootie;

I am very sorry for your losses. I care and I am sorry for the pain and confusion. It is 3 years for me, and I will say my mind is sharper at least.
It is very disorienting to lose your dearest friend and love, please give yourself chances to rest, exercise, eat healthy and other needs that can keep you strong.
 Lots of walking outside and drink water, write down stuff. Those are some ways to keep plugging along.
In time you will be able to think more clearly. And I also hope you will grow in confidence as I have, that was a shock to me. I always lived independently but after I lost my husband I felt like I could not even buy a loaf of bread, decisions and fears- it has been a long road. That took a long time. But, I am here to offer you some hope that you will grow stonger and that love never dies. The love stays with you. Thinking of you, hope you are doing okay. Again, just plain sorry you need to be here.

7
Spouse, Partner Loss / Re: Need encouragement
« on: April 16, 2011, 05:00:37 AM »
Dear mousewife;

Thinking of you and sending a wish for peace, strength and endurance for you. I hope you are starting to get to see some flowers come up.
I am going into 3rd year date. Came to read here for support.

I was on employment rollercoaster and only idea I have to offer-  is to look for a solid company that is growing and get in any way,  even in the call center as a temp and work up, that is what I am doing.
I was a manager for 18 years so it was a rough emotional path to start all over while grieving the loss of my best friend but it paid off.
Hope that helps- I really agree that the market is so hard now, and it is definitely not a reflection of your capabilities or self- their loss for sure.
Please carry on knowing we are all here rooting for you in every way. :)

8
Main / Re: Just one more time?
« on: January 12, 2011, 05:17:27 AM »
Juls, so sorry for your loss.
Thank you for this idea, I like it-
Forever imprinted in my heart,
Terri and Mike

9
Spouse, Partner Loss / Re: Thinking of you, Penny
« on: December 04, 2010, 10:23:04 AM »
Hi Penny;

My heart goes out to you. I am so sorry for the sadness and loneliness that accompanies our grief. You can write me about Fred any day or time also, like Terry said.

Your love for your family will never die. I am sending you my friendship, strength and energy to support you in your loss.

I am truly sorry.
Terri

10
Spouse, Partner Loss / Re: Update, or "re-Hello!"
« on: December 04, 2010, 10:08:18 AM »

Hi John;

I'm sorry for your loss. That is a very sweet and beautiful memorial for your beloved Kit, thanks for sharing this.
I hope you will take good care of yourself during the coming months and learning how to live with your sorrow and pain.
 
I am sending you a wish for strength, courage and humor to help carry you along.

Do whatever feels healthy and comfortable to you during the holidays, remember others really do care, even when you feel alone.
Again so sorry.
Terri

11
Spouse, Partner Loss / Re: heartbroken
« on: December 04, 2010, 09:52:30 AM »
Hello to all on this thread;
I wanted to tell you I am sorry for your losses. I have been helped for the past two and 1/2 years by visiting, reading, and posting on this site (main board).

I've tried most everything to keep plugging along after the devastating loss of my husband Mike.
 Exercise and poetry (music, art of any forms, nature) have been my best help. Books on the booklist here. Light a candle.
Telling your story is very helpful. Taking walks and drinking water.
The saying, " The opposite of grief is action", began to help me alot at about the one year point.  Hope something here may be helpful to others.

I have three growing young adults, an important new job that I feel like I keep making mistakes at because my mind wanders now, and my supportive family and friends.
 So- it is Saturday in December. I am going to the gym and out for dinner with relatives. I still cry for my husband.
 On the good end I can actually hear people now. For the longest time I was feeling like I was in a windtunnel or something like a whirring in my ears. My grief takes everything I have sometimes.
I am getting by alright most times.
I want to tell you I am sorry and I am thinking of you all. Take care of yourself.
Terri

12
Main / Re: hi everyone
« on: November 12, 2010, 04:35:41 AM »
(((Terry)))
Thinking of you too. I hope you are doing okay.
I am still working- so that is good. Just no benefits yet. I am tired and in New England- looking at winter coming. I am doing alright though.
i think i miss my husband so much that I am trying to figure out what to do without him
Thanks for writing.
I'll keep checking in.
Have a good day and thanks,
terri :)

13
Main / Re: hi everyone
« on: November 04, 2010, 05:15:24 PM »
Hi Geaorgia and each of you special people on this thread and on these boards in general. Missed being here- been a few months. My job did not turn out as I hoped but that's okay.
I have three kids and I lost my loved one Mike 2.5 years ago. It sometimes seems like it will be okay eventually now. Still really hard sometimes- very hard. But I now know my despair will not change this- I need to do what I can to live with this grief rather than try to get away from it. I care very much how all of you are- i will read up, reply if you want and share how you are. Sorry for your loss to all new posters- please keep sharing as you can. I know it helps a little to tell about your grief. That and try to keep looking up and exercising.
Prayers for peace for everyone on here today. Andof course Tom, Lauren, Terry, Browneyed, Dena and others who help out. You are generous and kind. Still remeber kevin too.
Thanks- Terri

14
Main / Re: Missing you
« on: May 26, 2010, 01:23:48 PM »
Poppy, leo and others-
I am sorry and thinking of each of you as the days roll into summer. It has been just past two years since my handsome, funny, kind and loving husband died unexpectedly and shattered my family.
I have since been through a fourteen month stint as a temp in a company that I now have a permanent part time position. I do not get benefits, not health anyways. I am done with all the worrying, I just do the best I can.
I am glad to report that I have some peaceful times now. I will never "recover or heal" from this, I will always want my husband back. I was so scared of this at first, but now I am learning to live with this fact.
My grief is worst when I get angry about not being able to talk to my husband one last time. I just wish for the past.

After the first year ( I only remember crying, and insomnia etc. but apparently I did go to work and pay the bills) the second year brought more mental clarity- which in my opinion made it hard in a different way. Now I was not so numb, and I do still feel that sadness. I am sad for this thought I have,  that the best part of my life is already over- and how can this be?
Slooowwwllly, I am finding things that interest me (in my case a new job) and being interested is the opposite of numb. So it helps a little bit. Being active also, .
Thinking of you, sending strength your way,
Terri

15
Grief not related to deaths / Re: The end of the road
« on: May 19, 2010, 03:00:24 AM »
Thinking of you- Tery wrote good words about waiting. It can be so painful, it seems like it will never improve. Then there might be a break of some relief or distraction, then you plunge back into the pain. I guess realizing life can be so hard and painful, yet still getting through it is a key to it. I hope you are okay and that you keep that patience.
Terri

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