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Messages - lostwithouthim

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Main / Re: Losing support
« on: August 07, 2009, 01:53:16 PM »

Now I am trying to get in touch with you and so far with no success. So I have logged back in to Web healing to find you. I see you haven't been on here in quite a while either.  However I will keep emailing until you respond. As I have proven in the past , I CAN BE QUITE THE PAIN REAR ONCE I DECIDE TO DO SO.

My brother's B-day has came and went. He should be 40. I should have been able to really pick on him for turning the BIG 4 - 0.


Main / Re: just tired
« on: January 13, 2009, 02:58:19 PM »
Don ,

Take care of what you have to take of now. Which is your mom and take care of the rest as you can. Your mother-n-law is getting taken' care of. Your mom needs you now.

Main / Re: Son's Death and husband's affair
« on: December 03, 2008, 12:49:28 PM »
I am so sorry about the loss of your son. As for the husband , glad he is getting over his heart attack . So sorry he broke your heart. I think I would be in counseling if I were you. You have a lot to deal with. More then anyone person should have to deal with at one time.  You need someone you can talk to and trust thats for sure right now. Getting over and past infidelity is hard, I know. So please seek  counseling. They will be there for you and you alone. Ny thoughts are with you.

Main / Re: So much guilt for all the past things i've done.
« on: December 03, 2008, 12:42:48 PM »

We all make mistake sin our lives. Usually when we realize we have made these mistakes . It means we are ready for a change. Only you can make that change. Perhaps counseling would help. Don't beat yourself up over past events in life. They are over and done. If you get a chance to apologize to some of these people then do so. You will feel and be empowered by it. Its not as hard as you might think.

But do not allow yourself to held prisoner to your past. I know thats hard to do when they are a lot of hurt and disappointment there.

Main / Re: Weary of life
« on: December 03, 2008, 12:27:27 PM »

Pete, I feel/ find myself wondering and feeling the same way. More often then one might realize.  I wonder how much more can I take ? Because surely I have to be at my limit, Capacity full of this so - called life and disappointments. Then I think about my boys and where would they be without me ? Life ain't always easy and that is an understatement if ever there was one.  So I manage to find a reason to go on. I usually message you and go play with my boys.

Your children may be grown but they still need you.

Sibling Loss / Re: Will I ever understand?
« on: August 22, 2008, 09:38:25 AM »
I wish I had words of wisdom for you.
I lost my brother back in Feb pf this year. He too ,was an older brother. His death came after a long illness due to an auto accident. I think about my brother everyday. Never does a day go by that I don't think of him. I am sure you will be the same way.
Hind sight is 20/20 if we all had it then we would have different lives. Don't beat yourself up over this.
Your brother wouldn't want that.
I wish you peace with your lose. I know that seems impossible .

Sibling Loss / Re: 2 months since my brother has been gone
« on: July 16, 2008, 10:23:41 AM »
nitcheyj, I am so sorry that you and your parents had to see your brother like that. No parent should eve have to see their child like that. Because no matter how much time passes. You never ever forget and if you have , this has been my experience, it will come back to you. I had a wreck in Oct of  last year. It was a very bad wreck in which both of my children were airlifted out. For a long time I couldn't remember seeing or holding my 2 year old son  or getting him out of my car. But bam  I go to sleep one night and there it was and the big gash on his head. Wide enough apart and deep enough a man with big hands could have easily laid his finger in it. I remember seeing my oldest son's brain. These are memories I so wish I didn't have. But I don't guess anything stays buried forever. I was one of the lucky ones.My children lived. My brother pulled me through it. ' Sis , you can't fall apart now......... '
My brother's birthday is July 24, he would have been 39 years old. The backside of 40, how I would have loved to have gotten to tease him about that.

Main / Re: what would you do?
« on: July 10, 2008, 10:41:14 AM »
It sounds like you have a compassionate heart. I would probably send him an e-mail telling him I was sorry to hear about his wife's passing . Then afterward I might and probably would block his email address from mine. That way I would know I had been kind when it mattered the most and kept it at that. No opening old wounds.

« on: July 10, 2008, 10:36:16 AM »
I am sorry today is so hard on you. Sometimes I know sort of what to say and then on days like this . I have a hard time just sitting up straight  and acting like a normal person.

Child Loss / Re: had a good day
« on: July 09, 2008, 07:25:11 AM »
Children are something else. My oldest son is 14 and my youngest is 3 . Big age difference but I wouldn't change it. The oldest one puts the younger one to do things he knows he would never get by with. Of that I am pretty well sure................. Since my brother's death the only thing that really makes either of my parent's smile is my youngest son.

« on: July 07, 2008, 10:36:50 AM »
I love this post.

Main / Re: How to cope with suicide
« on: July 07, 2008, 08:51:15 AM »
Your family wants you to be a healthy normal person. They don't want you to be hurt by the death of your boyfriend or the way in which your boyfriend died. I think it is just scary for them. Most moms and Dads will do anything to protect their children. Anything .......................... and if it means putting on or up " oh that again . Honey I thought we were done to talking about that. Let's get back to your/our normal selves now." I don't think they are doing it to be mean or inconsiderate ( even when they are being just that.) . So far the worse experience , I have had as a parent. Is my child being hurt and I can do nothing to fix it. Thats all a parent wants to do is keep their children safe and free from hurt or any kind of harm. There is no worse feeling then knowing your child is hurting and you can do absolutely nothing to fix it.
Your family and friends may not have ever dealt with suicide before. Death is hard enough to deal with but suicide well thats different.
As far as dating tell everyone you are not  ready to date. Ask them if they would want to date if they had a boyfriend or girlfriend to recently die. Forget the suicide part they were killed in some kind of accident or cancer. Would they be ready to date ? No they wouldn't . Tell them you know that they mean well but if they really want to help you . Then just love you and be understanding about the hurt and confusion you are suffering through.

Sending comfort and peace your way. Be strong.

Sibling Loss / Re: My Brother, My Friend.
« on: July 07, 2008, 08:27:52 AM »
It still seems so strange to have had my brother all my life and then for him to be gone. Poof just like that. They're gone and depending on  whether you believe in Heaven or not. Is whether or not your going to see them again. I myself am firm believer and I take comfort in that. I hope each of you do too. What would Heaven be for us without our brothers? Or other loved ones for that matter?

Main / Re: How to cope with suicide
« on: July 06, 2008, 06:22:44 AM »
Anytime you need or want to vent feel free to do it here. There are many wonderful people on this website to help you.

Don't torture yourself by telling yourself I should be over this or why didn't I handle this differently.

If you are angry you should be. If you aren't don't be surprised when /if you get angry. Its normal. 

Main / Re: anger
« on: July 06, 2008, 06:02:19 AM »
This may sound corny.... if it helps you then thats all right. There is a song by The Eagles called , There's a hole in the world tonight.' The song has a line it that says , anger is just love disappointed.

That makes perfect sense to me. Its only natural for you to be angry. You had hopes , dreams and plans for a future with your husband.

I am so sorry for your loss. I hope that did help you to understand your anger better.

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