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Messages - Shirl

Pages: [1] 2
Main / so sad
« on: April 21, 2008, 01:00:07 PM »
Hi, Shirl here
I've been so sad and lonley lately, more that usual.
All day today, I couldn't help thinking that somethings wrong...I had this horrible gut feeling in the pit of my stomach, I couldn't concentrate at work properly ect.
I kept looking at the date and knew there was something about it...well, when I got home, I's been 13 years today that my brother-in-law was taken from us...that made everything come together...I can't believe I forgot...I never have before. I guess it's because I've been so lonely for my husbands companionship, love, and friendship ect. I'm truely going crazy lately. Besides the fact that he's gone. My friends are to busy (understandable), and don't really understand. I hate being all alone. I'm still not ready to "move on"
My boys are stll here, and they're great, but, I still need the adult chit chat, go for coffee or walk or something.

Main / Re: My heart is broken cannot get over husbands death
« on: April 21, 2008, 12:44:42 PM »
Hi Harts
My name is Shirl
I'm so sorry about your loss.
Next month will be 2 years since I lost my husband of 22 years married (together for 26. Hang in takes time. We have to take it day by day. It's to soon for you to just "go on". I'm glad your children are there for you, and so is everyone in here. They've helped me a lot and I'm glad I found this sight.
Take care

Main / Re: when I woke up
« on: March 31, 2008, 01:00:09 PM »
Hi Crushed
First I'd like to say I'm so sorry for your loss.
And thank you for your words of kindness and understanding. There really are so many ups and downs. Songs, certain things I see when I'm out, or even when I'm just sitting here..things on T.V....anything, anywhere, can set you off.
I lost my mother when I was 15, Took me a while, but came to grips with it. So many relatives, (my Uncle just before Christmas, 2006) and close friends in between. So many good memories. I know it is part of life, but...well, you know.
And Sweetpea, that's a beautiful poem, I really enjoy it.

Main / Re: when I woke up
« on: March 28, 2008, 09:15:18 AM »
Hi Sweetpea
You're soooo right...I've been needing a hug for quite some time now.
I like what you said..."the best fruit grows in the valleys".
Thanks for the prayer for my sister and myself.
One thing that gives me hope, is being able to come and express myself here. It sure does help.
Even though I don't say a lot yet in here...I am thinking and praying for all.

Main / Re: when I woke up
« on: March 27, 2008, 12:55:54 PM »
Well, like I keep just seems to get worse. I'm so sick of bad luck.
Now, my sister is sooo sick...she was in the hospital for almost a week (dehydration, liver, pancreace :[forget how to spell]: and a couple of other things)...and didn't even call...because she didn't want us to worry, we had enought problems, geeeze.
And they can't even figure out what's wrong yet.
I need my husband sooo bad, I have nobody here. I don't know where to turn. I just thank god that I can come on here to talk. Now my friends are slowing down, they don't get it.  They think I shoud be moving on by now...well, I can't...I wish it were that simple.
The day that I told you about going to counciling...well, they were all booked up that day...I never did go back. I just don't feel comfortable going in and talking to a stranger..although, that's why they're there.  :-\
Thanks again for listening.

Main / Re: It's six years, why do I still feel this way???
« on: March 22, 2008, 09:32:29 PM »
Hello Ryan
I'm terribly sorry about your loss. I understand...It's been 1yr & 10 months when my husband passed. I got together with my in-laws yesterday. (although it was nice...we miss him terribly)
We all here miss our loved ones. I just found and started this group about a week ago, and they've been so helpful and understanding.
It's so full of ups and downs, but somehow we find a way to get through...
I'm sorry you are spending easter without your family. I hope there's someone you can get together with.
In my prayers.

Main / Re: when I woke up
« on: March 22, 2008, 09:24:07 PM »
Hi Sweetpee
Thanks so're right...I like what you said about guiding footsteps, that's so true.
It was great to see my in-laws (I think we can all see in each other, how much we miss him)...we had a beautiful dinner, soooo much food, I think I'm still stuffed, ha,ha.
I feel a little more relaxed. And you are right, I know it, it will be alright, might take some time, but we'll be fine.
Thanks for listening and've helped a great deal

Main / Re: when I woke up
« on: March 20, 2008, 04:25:51 PM »
I get what you call "survivor benefits"...kind of like widow's pension, before I turn 65 yrs old.  (another 20 yrs away) That's all they give. And believe me, it's not much. Huge difference. If he were only here...
Tomorrow his parents and sister are coming over for easter dinner. Haven't seen his parents sice Christmas. They're great.
Hope you have a nice easter too.

Child Loss / Re: Had a bad dream last night
« on: March 20, 2008, 12:25:41 PM »
Hi Marriane
I'm so sorry for the loss of such a handsome young man and that you're having such a bad day. I wish there was something I could say or do for you.
You're in my prayers

Main / Re: when I woke up
« on: March 20, 2008, 03:11:02 AM »
Hi Again
I also meant to add that once I get all the proper documents, I'll be going to the union and putting in an appeal with the government. May not be any good for me rigjt now and may not even work out..but it's worth a try...I'm sick of the government ripping me off.

Main / Re: when I woke up
« on: March 20, 2008, 03:01:25 AM »
Thanks Sweetpea
That's good info for most...I appreciate it. work Has in fact applied for "workshare" which sounded just fine to me...but...they include the tiny bit of money I get "survivor benefit", because of my husbands death..they're including that as an income...Darn Government...I couldn't believe it.
Thanks again so much for trying to help.

Main / Re: I am so scared!!
« on: March 19, 2008, 04:08:03 PM »
Hi greeneyes
I'm praying for you. Tecnology is so much better now-a-days. Have a wonderful easter.

Main / Re: when I woke up
« on: March 18, 2008, 04:43:45 PM »
Well, my sister-in-law took me to the counciling place, unfortunately, they were all booked. But they did make an appointment for me for Thursday, so I'll definately be able to get in and set up..papers filled out..ect. That's all I know about it right now.
Even though nothing came from it..I'm still glad I made a move.
We'll see how it goes on Thursday

Main / Re: My Brother has passed on today.
« on: March 18, 2008, 01:00:57 PM »
Hi Charles
I'm very sorry about your brother.
I've only been on this site for a few days now, and they have deffinately helped.
Take care of yourself.

Main / Re: when I woke up
« on: March 18, 2008, 12:57:30 PM »
Thanks so much for your replies.
Well, that didn't last long.
Back to where I was...if not worse. Every time I turn around something else goes wrong. The government is ripping me off large...and I was completely honest about everything.
Somethings wrong at work, we already got 4-5 hrs cut'm down to 28 hours a week...I can''t see how anyone can survive on that. Geeeeze.
My anger is worse...disrespectful to some people...even my boss. I did appologize to him though. I feel like crap and have no control. I'm supposed to be supportive for my boys, and I can't even seem to do that right.
I never did agree with antidepressents (for myself, but ok for some people) Now I've been trying them and none of them seem to make a difference. I really don't want to go talk to a stranger (counciling). But I'm now willling to try anything. I can't stand it anymore. My sister-in-law found somewhere for me to go check out tonight...she's even coming with me to make sure I go. And for support.
My friend said to me the other day "oh, we all have bad luck, but I don't talk about it"...( the difference is that she has someone to talk to..just like I did at one time)...that really hurt my feelings. I know she's somewhat right, but she kept telling me this whole time to "TALK" don't hold it all I did. Now I don't feel comfortable saying anything, because I don't want to bother her with it. Don't get me wrong...she's been great the whole time.
I'm so sorry for such a long venting letter. But, thanks for listening

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