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Messages - lexirae

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Sibling Loss / Loss of little brother and father
« on: October 30, 2007, 01:50:06 PM »
On April 18th, 2007 I got a phone call that changed my life. My mother called to tell me that my little brother and father were killed. My brother and father were amazing people. My brother just turned 16 in January. He was just beginning his life. It happened so fast and so sudden. They both were registered pilots and my father has flown millions of miles. But the weather turned bad sudden and they didn't know what happened. They left early in the morning and by midevening their plane was missing. When the search party finally found the plane they found my brother and dad near it. It was the bad weather that caused them not to see the mountain and crashed into the side. I was 18 living in NYC while my family was in California. I was scared and alone. I still have a 13 year old sister and my mother. I had to be strong for them. I haven't cried. I haven't even acted like it has affected me. But now after 6 months I feel like I can't be strong anymore. It's hard for me even to get dressed in the morning. I feel so guilty that my perfect 16 year old, genius, 4.0, graduating high school a year early, going to make a difference in the world, little brother is gone. I feel so guilty for being alive while he's not. My mom is heart broken. My sister acts like everything is fine. I just don't know what to do anymore. I can't be strong anymore...Will it ever get any easier?

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