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Messages - Darlene

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Child Loss / Re: Good Bye My Child
« on: December 24, 2007, 09:19:01 AM »
This was the last day I saw my son!  I my heart is hurting so bad and I'm crying inside and nobody knows it but me.  I must be strong for Ricks' sister Lisa (she is the only child I have left).  She and Rick were very close and would always say to each other "I have your back" (meaning they would always be there for each other).  And now her brother my son has been torned from our lives forever.  My last words to my son were "Good Bye" and I will never say those word again.

Judy, Thank you for send me strength as I pray that the good lord will give me the strength to not only get through Christmas, but also New Year's eve which is Ricks birthday.

Wadesmom, I to am glad and sad all at the same time for finding my way back to this link again.  Thank for your kind words and I also am thinking of you and all of us who have to live with such a deep pain that it is indescribable.

God bless you and your love ones and may he keep you all safe.

Darlene

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Child Loss / Re: Good Bye My Child
« on: December 21, 2007, 08:11:41 PM »
Bless you all for your heart felt compassion when I need it the most!  I'm sitting here as tears roll down my face and my heart aches for each one. I know the pain you carry in your hearts and it is a pain that will never leave.

I feel that as time goes by that everyone around me has forgotton the pain I live with each and every second of my life.  Now, I come here and you all have embrassed me with your heart felt words and I can't thank you enough. 

Rebecca, please, please share Rick's story, not just for me but for Donna and Karen who also have had precious lifes stolen from them by drugs and alcohol.

Jeanne, thank you for reading Rick's story and for your kind words!

My prays and my thoughts are with each and everyone of you and will alway be!


God Bless you all and keep you safe!

Darlene

3
Child Loss / Re: Good Bye My Child
« on: December 20, 2007, 08:18:11 PM »
Thank you from the bottom of my heart.  My prayers and thoughts are with you and all  here who carry such deep pain. 

God Bless you!

dar

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Child Loss / Good Bye My Child
« on: December 20, 2007, 07:10:48 PM »
Hi my name is Darlene,

I am so very sad to say I am the mother and the author of Good by my Child.  I have not been here for a very long time as I lost my link to the website between moving, the changing of computers, but I found it again. 

I believe finding it again is a message from my son saying Mom, I'll be gone 9 years on Christmas day and I know the pain in your heart is still so very deep but, you are not alone come to a place where other truly know your pain.

So, here I am to share Ricks' story and to say I do know I am not alone.  I have copied and pasted my tragic story.

God bless all of you!

Darlene


Goodbye My Child
 

My tragic story is to all parents who love their children enough to share with them the harsh realities of life. My heart demands that I share my pain and tragedy with others to help prevent the loss of a child to alcohol, narcotics and driving a motor vehicle.  A tragedy that you always read in the paper and say, this will never happen to my child!

My life changed forever Christmas Day, 1998.  I received a phone call from the Connecticut State Police wanting directions to my home. The trooper said the matter concerned my 22 year-old son, Richard E. Dysert, Jr. and that was all the information he could share over the phone.  I was frantic inside but tried to remain calm, telling my 19-year-old daughter that it would be all right. I knew in my heart that this was a mother's worst nightmare coming true.  My daughter and I sat on the stairs of our home saying the Lord's Prayer aloud together. Thirty minutes later, two officers arrived and my husband went to meet them.  I could tell by the look on his face, that this was it.  My daughter and I could not wait in the background anymore and went out to the Troopers to hear what my mother's intuition told me I would hear.  I fell to my knees screaming Dear God, please not MY SON.  I could hear my daughter screaming in the background but my emotion prevented me from making it to her.  Thank God for loving people as an neighbor grabbed my daughter and held her tightly to her chest and consoled her as any mother would do to comfort her own child.

On Christmas Eve, Rick, born December 31, 1975, joined another family for their traditional Christmas Eve.  At 11:30 pm he left there as a passenger in a motor vehicle driven by an 18-year-old driver.  Just a short ride to take someone home.  At 5:30 am, the car was discovered mangled amongst the trees on the side of the road.  The driver and my son were pronounced dead on the day Jesus was born.  I discovered later as I read the police report, the driver had a blood alcohol concentration of .14% and other drug unknown. The legal blood alcohol concentration under Connecticut statutes for operators under 21years of age is 0.02. The direct cause of loss of the two young lives was to be determined that the driver was operating a motor vehicle under the influence alcohol and unknown drugs, speeding and operating a vehicle that was in poor condition.  My son and the driver were not wearing their seat belts but extensive damage to the vehicle received upon impact after leaving the roadway at an estimated speed of 72 mph negated any safety benefit seat belts would have rendered.

All the parents, who believe it is okay to allow your child under the drinking age to drink at home, PLEASE reconsider. Rick could have been your son.  My son perished as a direct result of alcohol, driving, and parents who condoned drinking underage.  Rick's survivors who love him so very deeply will never recover and the wounds will never heal.  A saying states, "When parents die, you lose your past. When a spouse dies, you lose your present. When a child dies, you lose part of your future.  Parents please love and care for your children as if there is no tomorrow.  Set the example.  Be their role model and teach them the difference between right and wrong.  Do this by sharing my tragic story written as I lost a part of myself!
 ..My son.




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